shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

... All of those might be a little hard to handle in conunction but I can try my best.

An admirable way to be. I am also quite aware of my diminutive size but I'm glad i'm amusing.

 

...Uh, I can kiss you if you want me to I guess?

 

You were never particularly good at it anyway.

[Looks at Primus with a drawn up eyebrow]
That is news to me, dear brother. A new low, even for you.

 

No, cute. I could wrap you up in my tentacles and squeeze you and do things I reFUSE to say in PUBLIC.

*Manages to fail at winking*

I WILL DESTROY YOU.

 

-flips him off-
Kissing sparklings isn't a new low. Kissing sparklings is just what you do. Your own, anyway. Kissing other people's is weird.

...well, you can try? I mean...

 

Shut your face.

If you succeed I will totally count that as payment for like. Three whole years. Think about it.

Might as well plop one on the good ol' optic since I don't have a KISSABLE FOREHEAD.

I don't know who you are. But I demand sparkling kisses anyways. My optic demands the tender nonsexual love of the gods. Aaaaaaalllllllll of them.

[He "gently" smacks Req in the face with his claws. It is not gentle at all. Unfortunately he does not have that degree of motor control anymore.]

 

:'( Ow. *Slowly lays himself down on his side.*

I am broken now. Can't move.

Gonna eaat your shin

 

-leans down and gently drops a light kiss on Scope's optic, then straightens up- Well, there you go, since you wanted it!

Go... ahead?

 

Calm your slag. You massive infant. You large baby. The biggest sparkling of all. So big. So many cryings. Wow. I fragged that meme up don't ever talk to me or my family ever again.

[Pat pat.]

 

Who are you?

 

Primus! Nice to meet you.

 

Thank you. I will cherish it. With my not-face.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

 

I am usually all for making up new words but "Squeech"?

 

:'( I am a very large sparkling. The Biggest Sparkling. I will win the sparkling wars.

 

... Well I've seen worse attempts at hitting on me.

 

Got one better?

Go fistfight a sparkling so I can tape it and sell it. It'll be great. We'll be rich.

 

Yeeeaaaah about that i can probably give you a proper face back if you wanted?

 

Maybe, what does it even mean?

 

No. You can't be Primus, if you were then it's your fault I was built. Mad At You. But not really.

Why's there energon below oceans on water planets?

Oh? Share!

I'll eat a sparkling.

 

Naaaaaahhhhhh. It's great for making people uncomfortable. People will give you things if you cry about war crimes. Except when they kick you, but whatevs. That sweet war crime money, whaaaaat.

Squid leech. Get with it.

Don't do that.