shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

I wouldn't know dear brother. My chance at a sparkling keeps evading me.

I will not kiss you, Mortal.

I do not at all regret to inform you that I am the only one allowed to eat Primus.

Say, have you ever thought about getting a new employer?

 

...Sorry, then. Also sorry that you don't like existing.

uhh......geology? I only formed the core of the planet it just kinda built itself around me I didn't really like. organise it.

Huh. Fair do's, then. Carry on.

 

[Paradox gleefully shares pictures of his trinemates: a pair of Seekers, obviously built on older lines albeit built up as most warframes have been. One is primarily black with Decepticon-purple accents and optics, the other bright blue and chrome with yellow optics. Besides their heavily-reinforced frames and a few scrapes or dents in some of the pictures, there's no sign of war damage to either; Doxx is obviously picking out happier images.]

Barrage is the black, Dynamo the blue-- I think they and their old third were part of our escort a time or two? Flew me, eh... maybe four, five thousand years after you left? [He shrugs; honestly he doesn't remember the exact date Scope abandoned the Cause.]

[That sure is a revelation! Paradox is gonna keep right on ignoring it. Scope is alive, one more revelation isn't going to blow his mind any more.]

 

look I told you we can't end the universe yet

UNI quit that

 

I don't mind just paying you either, you know. I can do both.

Those stories are not fit for the general public, I'm afraid.

 

Do you want to see the carrying and birth videos again? I still have them. They don't lose their luster on a second viewing.

 

Why?

That's a Fragging Joke

No.

Didn't say that, just mad. People don't liiiiike me. I was left aloooooneeee. The wreckers like me though, I think.

Why

:'C

 

Need backup, sir?

 

Kisssssss meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Will do, cap.

They're cuuuuute. You're adorable. You're so happy. I love it. That's so cute what the frag. What the frag, sib, that's so cute. Illegal. Illegally cute.

Picture me cooing with lips. And winking at you again. Lots of cooing and winking, that's me.

I said so is why. Fragger.

 

Just don't make me watch them again, it was bad enough doin' it all for real.

I think Scope likes you!
...and that's a long story, I guess. Most of it was sulking though.

No he's just being annoying because he can. >=(

 

Oh ok.

:O HE DOES! I hope.

Oh relatable.

 

And I told you it is inevitable as you well know. There's a way these things have to happen, Prim.

Since when does who I employ fall under your jurisdiction? That hardly seems fair.

I am told I lack a sense of humor.

Maybe you should. I quite like your... attitude.

Ah yes, The Great Evil One has said something time to take up weapons. You are such a good sparkling, Niece.

 

Are you a pigeon now, did you magically acquire a second alt while you were off wooing a squeech? And yes, yes we are illegally cute, it's terrible, Kaon's gonna come after us for out-cuteing his foxling and also ditching our badges.

Yeah sure go ahead, smooch Unicron, that'll go well.

 

I suppose it makes sense.

 

I serve the purpose I was forged to, as do we all.

 

Uhhh?

But I like my employer.

 

...
I will pass.

[Unicron doesn't even acknowledge the gunformer anymore. Nope.]

[Quiet jealous grumping]

Do you mean to imply something bad would happen? Wahtever gave you the idea?

 

He totally does! And I wasn't behaving very well but it formed your planet so I guess something good came out of it?

Just because it has to happen doesn't mean it has to happen right now, fragger.
plus you know you don't want to have to give up the physical fragging now you know what it's like
Anyway it's not like I'm the only one you could ever have a sparkling with.

Offering people jobs because they said they'd eat sparklings is a dick move, Uni. I'm allowed to yell at you for dick moves!

 

I am sure I can offer you some satisfactory terms. Including quite a lot of eating other mechs.

Indeed.
Though you are quick to forget that it is your side, dear Niece that is attempting to defy the laws of this universe.

 

Unmaker, normal mech... I'm sure you know where I'm going with that. Uh. Sir. [Is 'sir' the right title for the Ultimate Destroyer? Paradox sure hopes so.]