shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

"He never changes, Caldane. Always lecherous, but he doesn't know how to seduce, just force."

 

He really is. I regret making Tori dance for him at times. You can tell he is demanding I end our consortship and send him to Restormir.

 

Is that some sort of innuendo. It's hard to tell with you at times.

 

"And I'm afraid Caldane breaks his toys. Poor clumsy child that he is. Do you want to have to break him?"

 

It would certainly get him out of my hair. His family? Not so much.

Even if I do cut it short Tori is going nowhere near him or his sons. To House Jaran maybe.

 

I am still here, you realize.

 

But you aren't the Tori in question, brother.

 

"Would you like to really scandalize the two Toris?" Jame asks, a wicked twinkle in her eye.

 

I'm afraid I don't see what you mean.

 

-blushes and his voice is higher pitched-

MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME.

 

"If I didn't," Jame says, "would you be sure it was still me?"

She touches her finger to his nose and goes "Boop!"

"I hear that's the thing to do these days," she says with a grin.

 

-stares at her with genuine horror. is he going to die?-

What?

 

And I find that I'm still lost here.

 

I FORGOT THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER.

AND ALSO MY ACCOUNT'S CREATION! SUCH AN IMPORTANT ANNIVERSARY PASSED US BY WITHOUT PROPER CELEBRATION.

BUT THAT'S OKAY! A LOT OF US FIRST SHOWED UP AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR LAST YEAR. WE CAN MAKE A CATCH-MANY MONTH CELEBRATION INSTEAD!

 

"Don't worry, I'll come to you!"

She cartwheels over because just walking would be boring, and is suddenly standing right in front of her other self. "What I mean," she says slowly, running fingers up the other Jame's arm, "is that if I kiss you," she continues, long fingers stroking over the other's shoulder then onto her neck, "their eyes will pop out of their heads."

She pulls the other Jame's lips to hers with her hands encircling the other's neck, not pressing hard but just enough.

 

*It's time for the phantom assgrabber to appear.*

 

jesus FUCK, we need to get you a bell or something.

 

"Fareeha, are we going to let these win the contest for cutest lesbian kiss today or do you think we can best them?"

 

-it has been a good day. no sign of kallystine. he managed to dodge her horrid friend klamidia too. just a nice day. no jame. no horror. he walks into the room. masked. well. and sees the other him. and sees the james together. kissing. he turns beet red and fusses with his mask and accidentally knocks the damn thing off. oh my god. OH MY GOD-

 

-he was just about to storm off pissily but then. THIS. happened. he folds his hands in front of himself again. and finds he cannot leave. she has bewitched him with her foul darkling glamour. clearly. i mean. obviously-