VINES TRIED TO EAT MY DICK (The MacElroys Play D&D)

I am so excited to get some of the extra episodes this December.

 

//pokes head in

i am so so so behind but this podcast is just so good and i love it

//ducks out again so as to avoid major spoilers

 

I'm obsessing over this show hard enough that just now when I tried to tell our puppy no, I said "TAAKO NO."

Spoiler: the dog is not named Taako.

 

Speaking of dogs, I want the story where Magnus finally gets a dog, but it's the most surly and sarcastic undoglike dog ever. The dog goes to the moon, but is so good at stealth that nobody can find out. Magnus straight up tells people that he has a dog but everyone at the Bureau thinks it's an elaborate goof because they can't find this fucking dog.

The dog is the smartest member of their party. The dog becomes their rogue. The dog doesn't have thumbs.

 

The dog then takes the last Artifact for himself.

 

The dog IS the last artifact. Magnus must now choose whether to keep his dog and doom everyone or let the BoB destroy it to save the world.

Added heartbreak: his offer isn't a promise of power but a promise of being a good boy.

 

Added twist

Spoiler: Late Eleventh Hour

Magnus was the Red Robe who designed the dog-artifact, even if he didn't do the magic to make him, and the dog loves his daddy very much.

 

SCREAMS

 

whymustyouhurtmeinthisway.jpg

 

I heart you guys, you terrible monsters. :D

Spoiler: spoilers up to lunar interlude 3

I'm listening to the Crystal Kingdom again, and I love that the whole Taako/Kravitz thing starts like

Kravitz: (appears as crystal monster, tries to kill everybody and explodes Merle's arm)
Taako: I'm gonna date that.

Taako: (conjures tentacles and immediately cannibalizes Merle's fucking arm)
Kravitz: WHAT THE SHIT
Kravitz: (quietly) ... Oh no, he's hot.

They are the best at romance.

 

Taako's umbrella ships Taaklarg.

Spoiler: Red Robe stuff

But really, pretty sure the Red Robe that previously owned the umbrella was 'Lup', the person mentioned by the friendly Red Robe. And since the umbrella burned out Lup in the wall and sends Kravitz's lich-sensor haywire, a pretty strong case can be made that the Umbra Staff is Lup('s phylactery).

 

Yeah, that's my current thought as well.

Spoiler: spoilers up to 50

Alternately, if we're going with the thing where the artifacts were people once like the June+Chalice combo, Lup+Umbra staff could be an artifact as well. Which might be why Magnus is losing his grip and starting to go lone wolf.

But that's a wild "wouldn't it be cool if" guess, and I thought Noelle was secretly Lucas's mom until the end of Crystal Kingdom.

 

It would explain why the Umbra Staff is so sapient, but we've seen sapient magical objects before, soooo.

 

Spoiler

I'm guessing Lup/Lupe/Loop is a nickname, short for Lupin or something along those lines. And yeah, the Umbra Staff has got to be a phylactery.

 

Spoiler

I kinda hope Lup is a woman. Idk why. I guess I just already headcanoned her as one.

 

Spoiler: Specific quote from a later episode (forgotten which, sorry)

"You found her?"

 

Thanks!

 

What day of the week are new episodes released?

 

Thursdays.

 

Thanks!