shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

:0
(is lick)
(The ratto snifs and snofs, then attempts to play-wrestle with the weird red rat.)

 

-Nimona laughs and wrestles back.-

 

(tries to pick up a rat and examine it)

 

-When she's picked up, Nimona turns back into a teenaged girl, shoving Reed.-

 

(reed automatically kicks out at nimona and rolls off the couch into a crouch, reaching for a gun she doesn't have -- and then takes a breath and sits down on the ground. she lowers her sunglasses to look at nimona over them.)

you know, i don't think i'm temperamentally suited to dreamland. i'm bad with surprises, you see. it's a real problem.

 

vwhy dont any rats evwer turn into cute girls vwhen *i* grab them. do i gotta kiss em or something??

 

...there's only one way to find out...you've gotta smooch every rat clearly

 

Keep your hands to yourself! How would YOU feel if someone a hundred times bigger than you picked you up?

-She bares her teeth.-

 

CMERE LITTLE FURRY FREAKS!!

 

...maybe i should not try to tell jokes...

 

if you think i was trying to mack on her before she pulled her magic act, you need your eyes checked, kid. and your standards.

i think she'd rather kiss me with her fist anyway. sorry, red, i mistook you for a regular rat... they're not people too, are they?

 

both 20/20!

 

Wow, thanks for talking over me before actually deigning to address me!

-She spits on the ground, scowling.-

 

well, fins asked a question, and i've gotta keep up a running smartass commentary at all times or i'll run out of juice and keel over. true story.

if you say so. how many fingers am i holding up? (the answer is one. she is flipping itch off.)

 

not picking up on the 'smart' part of that. should i start making arrangements for your cremation.

 

smartass is the bare minimum. you want smart or funny, we can talk hourly rates.

 

You should probably just keel over, because you're not entertaining.

 

-suddenly a pirate-

 

Oh hell fucking no.

 

(finger guns) thanks, mystery rat girl, i love you too.