I would be into a foodblr.txt thread or the like... mostly so I can share this one specific 'recipe' that was more like an extended authorial conversation with the void
5 INGREDIENT PORK APPLE MESS Ingredients: Boneless pork chop Apple Butter Cinnamon Brown Sugar Other Things: Oven Baking dish Parchment paper (this is my best friend for easy clean up) Non-stick spray Microwave Microwavable bowl Something to stir with Something to flip chop with Preheat oven to 425 F. Get a baking dish, line with parchment paper, spritz with nonstick spray to keep apples from sticking. Slice the apple, leave the skin on. Put the butter in a bowl, microwave until melted, stir in cinnamon and brown sugar. Put apples in bowl and cover them with goop. Put the goop apples in the baking dish. Put the pork chop on top of the apples, drizzle with extra goop if you have it. Bake in oven for 15 minutes, flip pork chop (drizzle with more goop if you still have some??), cook another 15 minutes. Bam, you have food!! Notes: I usually am just cooking for myself, so it's one apple and one pork chop. I also just eyeball the butter mixture? It should taste more cinnamon-y than sugar-y... You want to leave the skin on the apple because otherwise the mush will just fall apart. You probably don't NEED the cooking spray, but the first time I didn't use it and I almost upended the parchment paper. Also, invest in a role of parchment paper, I now bake a lot more that I don't need to spend so much time cleaning the dish.
I gotta remember to put the chicken stew recipe here when I get home because... hoo boy..... thats the best comfort food
In the spirit of having just made it, Nai's lazy asshole chicken parmigiana; serves a fuckload because I cook Large Amounts. Reduce amounts appropriately for Less of This Fucking Pasta. Spoiler -> Spaghetti noodles (~2 pounds) -> cooking oil of choice -> Spaghetti sauce (one of these big jug things); if you like a specific kind use that -> Chicken nuggets/tenders/other assorted pre-breaded chicken (1.5-2 pounds) -> Mozzarella, parmesan, etc etc cheese (enough to cover top of pan fairly thickly) -> noodle making equipment (pot, water, strainer, etc) -> Lasagna or other large flat pan -> Oven 1. Make noodles noodly in the way that you normally noodle. 2. use cooking oil to coat inside of flat pan so your noodles do not stick to it. 3. put some noodles in pan. add sauce. you can either layer it or mix it up so that the noodles are all a little coated depending on your pref. 4. continue until you have used all noodle, most of sauce, or pan is full. 5. heat chicken (i prefer pan fry or oven, but microwave is also fine, I ain't judgin, just make that stuff not frozen). 6. throw a little cheese on before the chicken if you want cheese on your noodle. 7. spread chicken over noodles so that there's some basically everywhere. (7.5 eat whatever chicken you have left over because you are probably hungry at this point.) 8. spread last of sauce over chicken. 9. spread cheese over chicken. 10. make oven hot (i use 350 because it is default oven hot). 11. put in oven. 12. do not forget in oven. does not take long, maybe 15-20 minutes until cheese is meltygoo. 13. remove from oven. do not burn self. let cool a little before serving. 14. put in face hole. Spoiler: a food (image is the one I made last time which was Somewhat Less Noodle and a bit More Chicken than I had this time, but you Get Idea.) extra sauce is to your benefit here - I like my pasta saucy in general but in this case, extra sauce dumped on keeps the noodles from getting dry in the oven, which is a Good Thing that you Probably Desire. You might have a little left in the container when you're done but honestly, go ahead and use all of it. You can always soak up any extra sauce on your plate with like, bread or something.
@Key here's that japchae recipe I promised ages ago and keep forgetting to write up! Spoiler: Recipe Ingredients: 1/2 pound lean beef 2 cups sweet potato noodles (dangmyeon) 4 dried oak mushrooms (pyogo) 5 fresh oyster mushrooms (neutari) 2 tablespoons dried wood ear mushrooms (mogi) 1 cup onion, sliced 1 cup carrot, cut in strips 3 or 4 cucumbers 1/2 Korean pear Seasoning for vegetables: cooking oil, soy sauce, salt, black pepper, sesame oil Yangnyeomjang ingedients: 3 tablespoons soy sauce 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon honey (or 1/2 tablespoon sugar) 2 tablespoons pear juice (or 1 tablespoon rice wine) 1 tablespoon sesame oil 1 tablespoon sesame salt 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 2 tablespoons chopped green onion 1 teaspoon ginger juice 1 teaspoon minced garlic Cooking directions: 1. Mix all yangnyeomjang ingredients together to make sauce. 2. Cut beef into thin strips about 2 inches long. 3. Add 4 tablespoons of sauce to the sliced beef and knead to mix flavours. Stir-fry quickly in a heated pan. Set aside. 4. Soak oak mushrooms in warm water. When they become soft, remove stems and slice into thin strips. Squeeze lightly. Mix with 1/2 tablespoon each of soy sauce, sugar, and sesame oil, and a dash of pepper, and stir-fry on medium heat. Set aside. 5. Soak wood ear mushrooms in warm water. Stir-fry with 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a dash of pepper. Set aside. 6. Scald oyster mushrooms in salt water, rinse in cold water, and shred. Squeeze lightly. Season with 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon sesame oil, and a dash of pepper, and stir-fry in a heated pan. Set aside. 7. Stir-fry sliced onion on medium to low heat with 1/2 teaspoon of salt and 1 teaspoon of cooking oil. Add spoonfuls of water if they start to burn. Set aside. 8. Cut cucumber into 5-inch long chunks and peel (you will be using only the skins). Slice cucumber skin into thin strips until you have 2 cups. Salt strips with 1 teaspoon of salt. When they have wilted, squeeze tightly in a cloth and in a pan greased with 1 teaspoon of cooking oil stir-fry quickly on high heat. Spread on a large dish to cool. 9. Stir-fry carrots in a greased pan on medium heat, adding a little water now and then. Season with 1/2 teaspoon salt. Spread on a dish to cool. 10. Soak noodles in lukewarm water. When they lose their stiffness, cut into 3-inch-long pieces. Stir-fry in 5 tablespoons sauce, 1 tablespoon cooking oil, and 1/4 cup water, adding more water if necessary. 11. When all ingredients are cooked, put the noodles in a large mixing bowl, add 1 tablespoon of sauce and fried beef, and then mix in the vegetables. Garnish with strips of pear. Spoiler: Notes The important thing is the sauce and noodles - everything else you can change as much as you like and it'll still taste fine. We usually use chicken instead of beef, and don't bother with the pear garnish. We also usually leave out the cucumber, and sometime replace it with blanched spinach. A version with just onions, spinach, and mushrooms was good, but I think the carrots add a little sweetness that makes it better. You can also substitute fresh mushrooms for dried, or use all the same kind of mushroom (you want about 1 cup of sliced mushroom total). If you want to make one with as few ingredients as possible, probably meat, carrots, and mushrooms would be good. Or you can leave out the vegetables and make it with just meat. The only substitution we've ever made in the sauce was using apple cider instead of pear juice because we were out of pear juice, and I didn't notice a difference in taste. If we double the recipe and serve it with soup and rice and side dishes for seven people, it is all gone by the end of the meal. A single recipe makes about four large-ish servings. For cooking oil you can use light olive oil, or peanut oil - something without much taste.
I'm considering Cooking Therapy as an election-related coping mechanism, but I don't have a specific recipe in mind. Anyone have cake type suggestions?
It's currently looking like based on what we have in the cabinet, it's going to be pineapple upside-down cake.
Update: The Cake of Angst didn't want to come out of its pan and left a great deal of brown sugar goop on the bottom of said pan, but hey, still tastes good!
sadly cake is not my main depression sweet, my go to is usually cookies or "It's sort of like a pie, I guess."
I had a really good caesar salad at a restaurant/drinks place on saturday It had grilled romaine (like whole leaves not chopped up) and pork belly cubes instead of bacon bits, and normal stuff like croutons and dressing (was rather thin tho), plus a fried egg on top. It was so good?? I can get pork belly i think, i just need to figure out how one is supposed to cook it. Not a clue lmao (i mean really i'd be fine with just regular bacon as long as the salad had a fried egg on it and i thinned the dressing out with buttermilk or whatever)
Would this be the place to mention favorite chef idols? Watching people cook and learning new techniques and recipes is probably one of my favorite pastimes.
Let me quickly set the scene for the epos about to unfold Me, an innocent hobby cook doing nothing wrong, lives with family. The recipe, chosen on Saturday on a foodblog linked to in a recipe compilation for fall comfort foods, as is usually the routine. The groceries, bought. Then today, tragedy. Foodblog seems to have let their domaine expire. The recipe, inaccessible. Me, halfway between panic and pure spiteful rage. I begin googling and reconstructing from the ingredients and my vague memory. The following recipe is better than the original probably was.* (* This may be an overstatement based on just being fucking proud of myself for handling this.) Pumpkin Potato Puree with Garlic Mushrooms Yields 4 servings Ingredients: A medium Hokkaido Pumpkin a cup of vegetable broth 250g Mushrooms 1-2 cloves garlic Butter or similar for frying (generous amount) 1 pack instant mashed potatoes (and what you need for preparing that, should be on your packaging) (Or you know, make your own from scratch if you are that kinda person, you do you. I just don't have that kinna spoon supply in the middle of panicking.) Parmesan to taste Pumpkin Seed Oil to taste Salt, Chilli Preparation: 1) Follow the instructions at No Ordinary Homestead to make pumpkin puree from your Hokkaido pumpkin. Since we are using a hokkaido you can leave the skins on however, and we are using vegetable broth instead of water for making the puree-ing process easier. Set that aside. 2) Chop Garlic finely, clean and quarter mushrooms. In a large pan, heat butter, then add first the garlic, then the mushrooms, making sure that the mushrooms are in a single layer. Fry until to your desired doneness. Set aside as well. 3) Prepare the Mashed Potatoes. Then add in your pumpkin puree and stir until combined. If it's too cool, heat it back up a little. Add Salt and chilli to taste, as well as the parmesan. Then add in the mushrooms and garlic. 4) Serve in bowls and add a swirl of pumpkin seed oil on top. Enjoy~
Nai's Tartar Sauce that Isn't Disturbingly Sweet Like the Storebought Kind: -> one pickle (chopped very fine) - Garlic Dill are the Kind but whatever. Pickle. -> the smallest damn onion I've ever seen (chopped very fine; approx half a normal onion or a third of a Big Onion) -> two Vigorous Squeezes of lemon -> approx 1 tablespoon of pickle juice -> mayonnaise (3/4 a cup? probably about that - enough to cover the chopped pickle and onion completely BEFORE the more fluid ingredients are added) Actual instructions fairly self explanatory. Chop veg. Throw all in container. Stir until mixed. Makes Plenty. Taste is slightly improved by being allowed to sit in the fridge overnight and kind of mingle, but perfectly good eatings right when you make it. Somewhat thinner than the storebought kind but seriously about 1000% better. Unless you like that bizarre sickly-sweet aftertaste, I guess. Apply to fish or whatever heathen thing you apply tartar sauce to that isn't fish. EDIT: Review from the housemate is that she "understands now why [I'm] such a snob about this." Success!
