WTF Brain Autocorrect? - the majestic sea pancake and other substitutions

a thread for the weird words you end up using for things when you've forgotten what the thing (you know, the doohickey? the wotsit. the you know...the THINGY) is called! share your strangest substitutions :D

 

on one occasion i couldn't remember what seasonings/spices were called while i was making food, and settled on calling them 'flavour dusts'. it got the meaning across surprisingly well.

 

I grew up eating a lot of Italian food and not being able to pronounce Parmesan. I settled for calling it 'sprinkly cheese'

 

Could not remember what water chestnuts were called, referred to them as "the crunchy disks". The friend I said this to and I still sometimes call them this for fun.

 

My family has routinely called the pre-grated stuff "shaker cheese" since I was a bitty.

 

My dad was once trying to compare someone to Dr. Evil, of Austin Powers fame. Trouble is, he forgot what Dr. Evil was actually called, and wound up just going "y'know, Mini-Me's big guy." So yes, Dr. Evil is now Mini-Me's Big Guy and I'm not about to let my dad live that down.

Also, my friend Rezi, who does not watch the show, once forgot what Steven Universe was called, and settled for calling it "the gay space rocks and smol bellybutton child show," which...it's not like she's wrong.

 

I USE THIS ONE CONSTANTLY AND MY COWORKERS ARE PROBABLY GETTING FED UP THAT I CAN NEVER CALL THE BOXCUTTER ANYTHING BUT "CUTTING FRIEND"

its a friend that helps me cut things

IN MY DEFENSE, they do not look like ur typical boxcutters, so my brain wont let me call them that. the other thing they call it is "blade," but since theres a GRIPPY PART i cant call it that either

and "knife" doesn't work bc its not a knife

 

"Salad sauce" instead of salad dressing.

 

sea pancake is one of my favorite substitutions

usually when i forget a word i replace it with aaaaaaaa + hand gesturing

 

....I called Jack in the Box "the taco place" the other day, and feel inordinate amounts of shame over it

 

just this morning i forgot what magnifying glasses were called in english and settled for 'the circle that embiggens things'

nothing will ever top my friend jo's substitution of 'the salts that crunch' for crisps though

 

A few times now the choir has sung "Count Your Blessings (Instead of Sheep)" and there's a bit that goes "I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads."

For reasons I do not even begin to understand my brain insists that it's "pointy heads."

 

It's okay, my brain always insists that the phrase for pubic hair matching head hair is "Do the curtains match the drapes?" even those are, you know, the same fuckin thing.

 

@Starcrossedsky same hat! I can't even say the phrase anymore because I'm helpless to prevent it and I die a little inside when I say it that way.

 

My family refers to the TV remote as a "blatter" for reasons I don't know. I'm guessing it started this way and caught on.

 

One time I could only half remember the word for manners and tried to get it out right but instead ended up saying table mammals instead. My family has yet to let me live that down.

 

A friend of mine once accidentally said "I assume you attack the waffle" while GMing a tabletop game and it's still a low-key group in-joke years later.

 

I was trying to say we need seeds for the garden and couldn't remember what they were called so settled for 'vegetable eggs'.

The same week I tried to tell my family about the really good strawberries I had eaten and described them as red bananas. They didn't understand.

 

i picked this one up from my mom - the things that u use to signal when u turn? i call them clickers

 

CAN CONFIRM