shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

But your infomercials sell so many things for 19.99. Knives, pans, pain remedies... You can just give me the one cent difference, if it makes it so worthless.
-he's grinning behind his mask-

 

...*giggling*

 

oh, no, thats just television lying its ass off. you cant ACTUALLY get anything for $20 because they always bump up the cost via shipping.

 

*Suspiciously quiet middle finger salute.*

 

Thank you, dear! As for my name...I suppose it is an Earth one? In that Earth is part of our world. We call it Jambudvipa and it is at the foot of Sumeru where Trayatimsa rests. I'm from what the mortals would call Heaven. Though we prefer the Celestial Bureaucracy.

Politics is why I thank my bodhis that I didn't go into Prayers like I originally planned. Things are cutthroat there. Some say even literally so.

 

[She smiles indulgently; this sparkling might not be under her jurisdiction, but newsparks are still so rare she can't help but be blindsided by adorable again.]

Unfortunately, we can't just make people stop being mean without getting a little mean ourselves. The slate will be wiped clear eventually, brightspark, don't fret.

 

That sounds complicated! But heaven is the sky yeah? I love the sky! Can you fly too?

 

-He ponders this for a moment.-
Like how sometimes you have to punch people and then they see how much you are friends with your friends and then they want to be friends too?

 

A lizard is good at speaking in tongues, wouldn't you say? There is truly no camouflage as effective as wordcraft, but I have other means of bolstering my persuasiveness.

 

Hmm, but so many offer free shipping... I thought earth had truth in advertising laws. Hmm... I suppose you must sell yourself for cheap if you don't have any skills, though.

-he conjures up a fifty, holding it out of reach-
If you can tell me a joke I've never heard some variation of that makes me laugh, you can have this, though, if it's so important to you.

 

It is more than a bit complicated. But yes Heaven is the sky and space too. The stars are the lights of our cities so we have no stars of our own.

I can't fly, sadly. Not like you. I can float though!

-begins to float off the ground idly-

 

[She blinks out-of-sync, trying to parse the circuitous language.]

...yes, sometimes that can be a solution.

Would you care to elaborate?

 

!!
I can do that too! Sometimes! It's super hard though!
[He attempts to float with his heel thrusters. it goes wobbly fairly quickly and he tips over and falls on his face. Ouch. But he's a big mechling and won't spark. Nope. Just a little ungrounded charge at the corners of his optics.]

It's the best solution! Because everyone looks really cool while doing it! And then you have a new friend!
[As if to prove a point he play-punches Soundwave's shoulder.]

 

Huh. Sound complicated.

I think I´´m gonna have a standard alt, like my sire! -indicated Sawbones-

-is thrown off balance and falls over. He scrambles back to his feet and bats at his brother-

 

I'm sure you'll get a hang of it soon. It took me a while to do it without hitting my head on the roof.

 

It's a but complicated yes. Very complicated really. I suppose I can't blame the mortals for being so behind. Even we can't keep it straight.

 

-Starscream laughs, and tackles Soundwave to engage this playfight properly.-

Yes! I just need to practice! And then I'll be the best at it!

 

That you will.

 

You should make it eas-

-one ball of fighty sparklings- "Stop being such a showoff!" -POUNCE!-

 

-the fox is chuckling it seems like.-