shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Angel: Yep, right down to the whole 'still trying to kill me even though it doesn't have anything to kill me with' bit. I never heard them screech like that before but it's in the programming.

Angel: Kablooey did the worst of it when she exploded. I had to take the second arm off because it had a blade in it, though, otherwise it would have stabbed me entirely too many times. And having to ask Static to keep it pacified was a bit much.

Stalker: Yeeeaaah, Glitchbomb doesn't like the creepy fuckers.

 

Cool, cool so do you inhumanely torture and mutilize every mechanoid you come across or is that one just special? I mean I don't like Decepticons either and I don't take off all their limbs.

 

[She flicks her tail not quite close enough to Scanner's face to actually hit him, but otherwise doesn't respond. He asked her not to talk to him, after all!]

...they could be sapient, one day. [She taps a gentle finger against the skelebot's chest, heedless of any attack it might try.] They aren't sparked, not yet, but the potential is there. And I certainly can't blame this one for being aggressive towards its captors and those who partially dismantled it.

 

Yep okay that seals the deal I am taking him. His name is Smiley because he is friendshaped and he is my other best friend.
-He picks the flailing skelebot up as well.-

 

If you want a pet you know you must fuel it and clean up after it yourself.

 

Duh.
-He looks way more excited about this than this statement should warrant. Hope Throttle likes drowning in random drones he picks up off of every corner.-

 

-dryly- S´appreciated.

 

Angel: Kablooey blew off the bottom half when she exploded. We weren't planning on that happening! We weren't planning on her exploding! She was our demo expert, her job was making sure our team doesn't explode! She just happened to get shot- by an actual bullet, who still uses those?- and was carrying... fuck, who knows what she was carrying. Girl was beyond married to her work.

Stalker: K-hex dildo.

Angel: -lethal doses of sarcasm detected- Thank you, I needed that thought. I took the blade-arm off because it was still trying to murder me and Static would go crazy again if they had to spend all their time keeping it from getting stab-happy. And I needed it because the Coalition drops hundreds of murderous skelebots on D-bee villages. Full of civilians. Because a village isn't going to set up an ambush or lure them into a trap or have a fucking adult dragon protecting it. And they get steamrolled! You know why I wanted a look at one? -she's practically shouting by now- I wanted to know if I could disable them! Safely! For both parties! Because fuck fighting a horde of them, fuck encountering yet another massacre, and fuck your condescending bullshit, you leaky keg!

 

Radiation storm?

 

I will apologise for Scanner. Sometimes he forgets that he does not in fact have to be deeply unpleasant at every turn.

Apologise to the organics and ask their permission and you may keep the... drone.

 

@Nichrome of Iacon 1s th1s you?

 

Before ya even ask, no Capt´n yer not allowed exploding fragtoys. I´m pretty sure th´docs´´ll back me up on this.

 

Oooo yell harder baby. I think they didn't quite hear you back on Cybertron.
-he rolls his eyes-
There's safe ways to restrain beyond taking off limbs by the way. Don't know if you knew, but maybe looking up a few bondage tutorials would help.
And for your friend going crazy, I thought that was just par of the course, I mean I left sanity behind a couple'a mil ago, it's kind of a thing that happens when every single thing operating on a certain frequency is screaming at you 100% of the time.

-He makes kissy lips at her.-
Make me.

 

Who told you about my double secret altmode?

Awwww...

 

-she takes the skelebot off him, and then also the cleaning drone, and addresses Angel- Would you like these back?

 

But what if she is the exploding fr--

See the cap agrees with me!

 

-noofs- No. I know yer married to yer work but that´s just takin´it too far.

 

No exploding allowed. Medics orders.

 

Awwww not even the fun kind of exploding?

 

What sorta exploding is supposed ta be fun?