@palindromordnilap, I don't think people are upset at you or want you to go away. There are a lot of strong negative feelings, but I don't think that means you did anything wrong, or that those feelings are for you.
Don't know if you're referring to me or @Aqua Vitae, but I said my discomfort with mnemonics like that was personal and AV echoed that sentiment with why I have that discomfort and that is the whole "cluster B's are bad and evil and don't deserve treatment cause they're abusers" sentiment going around. Either way, it was nothing against you, it was personal taste for mnemonics.
Nah. Check out my vent thread in my post history, I'm plenty capable of being silly. Usually I've been gigglier when I'm high, but there's nothing innate stopping antisocials (or psychopaths, as I've been assessed with the PCL-R as well) from finding things funny. There's a trend of normies and professional normies thinking we're all robots because we can't relate to them. The fact that I can't relate to you has no influence on my sense of humor. Maybe you're just not funny, bro.
seconding this. I'm 100% capable of finding shit funny--I mean, hell, when my best friend and I hang out, the two of us end up dying of laughter most of the time. me not being able to relate doesn't mean that I can't find things funny.
the humor thing might be more related to trauma than ASPD itself? ASPD is often caused by trauma and i think sometimes trauma can mess up one's ability to find stuff funny/laugh, so.. i think they might be mistakenly attributing a trauma side effect to ASPD.
um, I have a question. I see a lot of comments about how people with bpd don't have a "sense of self" but I have no idea what a sense of self means. pls define?
to me it means i don't have a clear image of who i am as a person. my goals, aspirations, interests, and most aspects of my personality are not my own. i.e. if you asked me to describe who i was, i wouldn't be able to tell you with any certainty, as it's probably copied from somebody i admire and/or it could change at any moment, especially if i want to be your friend
it's easier to define the absence of it than the presence of it. a sense of self as i understand it is being able to fill in the blanks of an "i am" statement. for people with bpd and disorders like, there's only question marks there. for people with a sense of self, it can be filled in with things like, say, a career choice ("i am an accountant;" "i am a small business owner;" "i am self-employed"), relationship with others ("i am a parent;" "i am a spouse;" "i am a volunteer"), hobbies ("i am a gamer;" "i am a writer;" "i am an artist;" "i am a knitter;" "i am a cook"), or even base personality traits ("i am funny;" "i am smart;" "i am a good listener;" "i am organized"). usually there are facets for each part of "who you are" i think? not experiencing it, i don't really know. most people seem to have a pretty good grip on who they are or who they want to be. i don't, and from what i gather, that's a bpd thing.
people with bpd do sometimes have those "i am" statements though... hmm so like on tumblr, in people's abouts, people with bpd often still list stuff like "i am trans" "i am pansexual" "i am a jaspis shipper" "i am a whovian", stuff like that. what's the difference between someone with bpd who says "i am trans" and a person without bpd saying that? asking because part of me feels like i don't have a sense of self (like a friend commented that something i said was very typical of me and that was really weird because it means that i... apparently have a personality? that other people perceive but i don't?) but also i get confused about it because if a sense of self is just "i am" statements then i do have those, in identities like queer and trans and XYZ fandom member. idk.
yeah, honestly I feel like my personality is cobbled together out of like, characters and tropes and shit like, I love it when my friends tell me stuff about me cause it's like OH HEY A PERSONALITY TRAIT I GUESS I HAVE idk. i just don't really get it. like, I can think of myself as a character seperate from me and that's okay but then the actual That Me part is like. no. I'm bad at words. I hate making "I am " statements though. Did anyone else always have to fill in those "talk about yourself" sheets for school? thag was hell.
With the I am statements I see them more as just labels I'm hoarding to make it seem like I have an identity when I don't, like how I cling to my BPD diagnosis because to me, that's who I am, but that's not my personality no matter how much I want to think that it is. I cannot describe myself in terms of whether or not I'm nice, or accommodating, or abrasive, because those are personality traits that I can't assign to myself, only other people can do that for me.
and i guess "i am borderline" is an "i am" statement too? and most people saying that are bpd. so im confused about what a sense of self really is? because it can't be just an "i am" statement. also yes anything where i have to talk about myself is Hell even those things where you say your name and pick a trait that starts with the same letter, like "sassy sarah" or something. that was a super popular icebreaker in my high school classes for some reason? i could never ever think of one and it was awful
the thing!!! yes this. this is a thing. this is a thing that is me. I fucking hate those sort of things, I fail miserably at it.
this makes sense. hmm i can think of things in terms of what i want to be (like, "i want to be kind") but i don't.. really know how to apply that to myself in any consistent way. it's like a hat i put on. i can describe myself in things that i have done but idk if that's personality? also im remembering a few years ago i had even less of a concept of self than i do now because i was constantly codeswitching to the point where nothing felt real, i was just like a flip book. A situation to X personality, B situation to Y personality. i still do that but to a lesser extent? or im just less aware of myself doing things. or i just interact with less people so i don't have as many situations to codeswitch into.
screams holy shit is being contradictory like this a bpd thing because this is like. me. in a screenshot. if i were a screenshot i would be this screenshot
