shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

"I'd tell you," Ford says, "but he might show up. For beings of such immeasurable power and authority, they sure have a habit of coming when called."

He takes his own Elder Sign, blows on it, and holds tight to it, then dreams a bubble of anti-Cthulhu-madness around everyone else in the rave except Botbot, who seems to like that shit and probably is some kind of animatronic hell critter, even if -- it -- they? -- seem harmless enough.

Once everyone seems calmer, he speaks.

"Okay everyone, now that we're clear, remember that this is a dreamspace. Cthulhu is a powerful dreamer, but even so, you have control of your own headspace. Concentrate and will yourself not to hear it. It's actually noise, it just makes use of aversive harmonics, and in the real world you would need an Elder Sign or a cancellation wave to put a stop to it, but here you can just decide not to hear it."

 

(Reed starts bleeding from her nose as well. Ow. Well, this is fine. She downs the rest of her drink.)

 

-staples the talisman magically to @Cthulhu which probably does nothing because cthulhu does not bow to the celestial bureaucracy. it does however say a bunch of boring legalistic jargon that amounts to "Please fuck off".-

If he...them? is as low in the chain as they say they may well not know. Though it might be aware of who to talk to get that sort of knowledge.

 

wh47 1f 1 h1r3 h1m. 1 837 1'd p4y 83773r.

 

I forgo7 all abou7 i7 when I woke up 7he laz7 7ime.

Well.... WELL. Z7op or I'll ge7 all mad and I don'7 like doing 7ha7?

 

I can help with that! Let's make a deal, Bobert.

 

[MY FATE IS INTERTWINED WITH THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE A DUTY TO SERVE ITS WRETCHED GLORY.]

 

p41d v4c4710n.

 

*One of its eyes swivels to see if @Cthulhu is looking.*

 

-oh wow would you look at that humans. yes hello i too am human behold my single head and two arms and non-marble skin hi-

Are you alright? You seem to be a bit, well, drippy. In the bleeding fashion.

 

So iph were speaking theoretically here would you say that someone who was also maybe a kind oph god could be on your level.

How loyal.

Well thats great to hear. Does it work phor other stuph?

(Stuphph? No thats stupid.)

Ill remind you by punching you, how about that.

 

Health benefits.

 

-you have also been stapled. your message specifies that you must answer to your superiors for your potentially heinous actions here. this also likely does nothing but boy does it sound official!-

 

-the talisman slowly starts to melt as it touches Cthulhu-

YOU CANNOT PAY OFF ETERNAL SERVITUDE!

NO!

-cthulhu is in fact very distracted by the bleeding and Unicron on him right now-

 

[WILL THEY COVER FLAGELLA DYSFUNCTION PILLS.]

 

They absolutely will. You deserve to be happy, Bob. You deserve an employer who will synergize with your needs.

 

WHAT are you two DOING? Stop that!!!!!!!

 

(... She looks around in surprise at the lack of fuckawful noise and toasts @the author speaks with her empty glass.) Thanks, Glasses.

(The bleeding is slowly stopping, but:) Do I look alright? ... The one-eyed one-horned flying green people eater was screwing with my head. Think I'm good now.

 

ok....

DID I FUCKING Z77U7ER?

 

"Can you not?" Ford sighs. "Don't offer horrorterrors deals. It does not work out the way you think it will."

"Yes!" Ford grins.