shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

*The wiggler snaps off a slightly smaller twig to munch.*

 

But!!! It's so pretty!!! And smelled so nice!!! I had to see if it was good to eat, too!!!

I'll stop, though - that tree thing tasted like when I swallowed an aerosol can!!! Sorry...

 

It's still their tree, little brother; you can always magic up your own here if you find anything else pretty and good-smelling. [Despite not having a face built for it, Onyx seems to be smiling.]

 

==> Mis: Scold.
"Mimimimimimiiiiiiiiii! Mimi! Miiii!

Mi. -the mis are mollified.-

Help us make it pretty mi?

 

[Humming again, Onyx tilts her head to consider the tree; after a moment, golden tinsel-- literal gold, should anyone choose to test it-- drapes around the tree.] Is this acceptable, mis?

 

Pirrr! It very pretty! -mis swarm about the tree, arranging everything just right-

 

[The Crew contributes their usual junk-turned-ornaments. Post apocalyptic Christmases are hard, ok. Stalker's contributed deadboy medals, Boyd has painted spent E-clips, Micah hangs some M.O.M. units... that still have a little blood around the base. Jen has made one of her (it's a girl day) rare appearances, offering various plated monster claws, Lonan has broken pieces of chrome plating off someone else's glitterboy, Angel has little... things... that light up in sequence. And sing. In tinny little wind-up voices. Morgan's filled up little empty glass drug bottles with colorful liquid.

Lyra, who gives no shit about pretenses of reality, offers various little star-like spots of light, each giving off a warm happy feeling.]

 

(The Littlest Reed has followed Cassie out of the robot fighting zone, although she doesn't look pleased about being led around by the wrist.)

(Edit: whoops, wrong Reed account)

 

"Oh good," Ford says. "I ran into another Pearl that looked just like the one I know, and another Rose Quartz that looked just like the one she used to have as her partner, and they were definitely working for Homeworld. I'm very relieved that you're not with them. I don't suppose you've seen any thylacines? Other than the white one over there. And...I don't suppose you have any more of that space weed? I'm curious as to how it compares with the stuff my wife grows."

"I meant your Ma'Vali, not your lusus," Ford says. "And...I didn't really need to know that. But I'm happy for them."

Ford shrugs. "It's not that I don't want to help. It's that knowing how to cut through bureaucratic red tape is fairly culture-specific, and I don't know much of anything about your culture. Plus, I'm pretty terrible at dealing with bureaucracies. I'd probably steal it myself in your position, if I couldn't manufacture it. My experience with governments and bureaucracies is that with the exception of the Pennarine government, which my friends and I took over, I usually end up on the run from them one way or another in fairly short order. I'm afraid I lack the patience needed to comply with bureaucratic bullshit myself. They never seem to care that the multiverse itself is in danger, even when it blatantly is."

 

(There is a door in the Rave, and Berit opens it and hurries through, shaking snow off of her boots and cloak. She is wearing a wolf mask and the tips of her ears are pink with cold, and she's singing a song about masks and revels under her breath. She looks around and stops, a little embarrassed, but then waves expansively.)

Here I am again! Happy Satinalia, o beings of the something-like-the-Fade.

 

(a rat is being lazy and napping under the tree. it is curled up like some sort of fluffy potato)

 

Nice mask.

 

Why, thank you! (bows theatrically) They're meant to hide your identity, but (she finishes the bow with a flourish of her green-glowing hand) that's a lost cause. And if the Dread Wolf should catch my scent -- well, so be it, hah, I expect he already has, given the year I've had.

 

yo can i joign u

(amethyst shapeshifts into a rat and flops down next to @local rats)

 

I'd think a mask in his shape would draw attention.

 

man, i just gotta vwent in here a little.

im feeling pretty rejected right nowv by a guy i thought vwas really gonna be there for me. he said all sorts of vwonderful things about me and made me feel important and vwalued and lovwed. he gavwe me a place to livwe and the space to be vwho i really am. he called me his home--thats the most romantic thing anyones evwer said to me.

i knowv things havwe been pretty distant lately, but i thought i could fix it, you knowv? i changed the vway i dress, the vway i talk, the vway i act, but none of it vwas good enough for this guy. not evwen vwhen id built up multiple personas to keep him entertained and content and happy. i really thought he vwas the one, and for a vwhile vwe really had a good thing going.

nowv hes leavwing me. he fell in lovwe vwith someone else. actually, he kinda fell in lovwe with about tvwenty other people and totally forgot about me. im not pretty enough for him anymore and i knowv he doesnt vwant me like he used to. im not sleek enough or shiny enough or flashy enough to catch his attention. this guy used to say he vwould never abandon me, evwen vwhen other people tried to attack my reputation and my dignity and my personhood... nowv hes movwing to a different time zone just to get closer to his most recent fetish.

it just hurts, you knowv? vwhen a guy like that promises you the vworld and then forgets about you in a matter of svweeps. he says theres nothing more to me than meets the eye and i cant figure out vwhat thats supposed to mean. i dont know vwhat vwould make him stay. i dont vwant to think he just got tired of me, a lovwe this passionate doesnt just vwanish ovwernight. but it does seem like i vwas awfully convwenient for him, you feel?

im completely broken in my vwascular. evwen my spade feels crushed. i just cant find it in me to hate someone vwhos just forgotten about me completely. vwe could alvways just be pale but vwho vwants to settle for that? especially vwhen hes just throwvn all my personas out like im some kinda garbage for trying to make him feel better about himself.

i dont knowv vwhat to do. besides just vwent. it hurts. im not garbage and i dont deservwe to get throwvn out like so much trash.

anyvway, heres vwondervwall. music helps.

 

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED FUCKING A PLANE INSTEAD.

 

(amethyst may absolutely join the ratnap

the rat attempts to snif and groom the new purble friend before flopping down into pancake mode to sleep)

 

NO ONE CARES A8OUT YOU OR YOUR PRO8BLEMS!!

 

vwhy vwould i vwant to get horizontal vwith an atmospheric airgoing vwessel vwhen ivwe got such a pretty expanse of gray right here in front of me?

you could really be doing me a favwor here, im in a lot of emotional pain and i think this could really help me get ovwer it a lot quicker.