shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Your ownerssss were human, yesss? Burn the treesssss. Fuck Humanssss.

In bed.

-Allows this because honestly he doesn't care.-

 

[He lets this happen. He's a candle now. The prettiest candle. Fire cannot hurt a dragon an idiot.]

But I'm already on fire and I don't wanna mooooove

[Scanner waggles his eyebrows]

 

(Apostasia giggles)
One wouldn't kow with Scelus being so bright.
Aww, thank you. But yours is sturdier, I think.
(Apostasia swivels a bit. One of the gingerbread ornaments falls off. The bells and windchimes attached to her ring quietly)

 

Might be bu' I think i'd rather be jinglin' merr'ly with ev'ry step like you darlin'.
[He grins.]

 

[Gleeful cackling. In bed.]

YOU SET OTHER STUFF ON FIRE HOW ARE YOU THIS BAD AT IT

What kind of poor excuse for a rebel are you.

 

Fuck youuuuuuu I'm on vacation from rebelling that's how prison works right it's a paid vacation from life of crime
[He flops over lazily, his head still burning]

 

I don't know. I skipped that lesson in Crime School, where we learn crime.

[He starts pegging him with tiny paper triangles. Watch them go up in flaaaaaames. It's a Christmas Miracle.]

 

You went to school? Fuckin' Bourgeoise ass.

 

-Flops himself down-

I dare both of you to sssset fire to water, or to ssssit on me and calm yourselvessss

 

[Scanner summons a bucket of water-looking fluid. he dunks his head in. The bucket goes up in flames]

 

Ooooooh sorry mister naturally gifted some of us have to LEARN crimes, we can't all be talented and devilishly handsome.

[With a gleeful shriek, he tackles Scanner And The Flaming Bucket. And also catches fire.]

 

:OOOOOOOO
YOU THINK I'M DEVILISHLY HANDSOME? <3

[Scanner cackles and proceeds rolling around, clinging to Diamond. Tumbling ball of burning dorks.]

 

-she finishes her dance and appears a bonfire. Instead of summoning it already burning she summons a stick, which she pokes the ball of burning dorks with, then uses to light the fire. The wood is fragrant and unearthly, a rot note underneath the sweet-

 

thats kinky but get the fuck off me.

 

(She's smiling coquettishly)
Oh, I'm sure we can arrange that.

 

BESIDES, its not like you can push a rabbit back into a hat. pandoras dick in a box has already been opened, so to speak.

 

What'cha got in mind?
[He leans against a wall. Look at the cool guy with his star stickers. So cool]

 

im listening.

 

(Apostasia giggles, climbs up Switchblade as she is wont to to, and hangs some bell ornaments off him)

 

[He lets himself get climbed, smiling fondly. Bell ornaments are gonna be the next trend in Scelus, heard it here first, cats.]
Awww thanks f'r prettyin' me up.