Out of context quotes thread

Dualscar NO

 

dualscar yes

 

"Local villain never gets around to doing anything but laughing villainously."

 

"So what flavor of asshole are you, then?"

 

"Was this written by a ballerina who really liked rice in North Korea?"

 

It's a knife! You can't eat knives!

Spoiler: context

The cat is doing her "what's in your hand huh huh huh what is it gimme I wanna eat people food" dance because I'm near the counter.
Unfortunately I am doing dishes, not cooking, and she cannot eat the cutlery.

 

Pretend I dug up that d&d comic about the very hungry monster who does, on fact, eat knives (and swords and armor) :P

Edit: this

 

Carnivorous Moogle-Today at 10:24 PM
THIS KILLS THE ROWAN
AIN'T NO SALMONELLA ON THE DARK SIDE

 

"Are you seriously saying that seat belts are bad for your memory?"

 

E̟͛ͬ̑̅̒v̸̶̻͕̬͍̗ͦ̆̃̒̓͋͞i͚̙̖͇̘̥̰̥ͧͯͪ̍̈̎̄͠l͉̻̖̱̤̬͉̭ͤ͑̔̏͟ ̡̝̪̂̍ͬ̃̐̽ͬͩͭ͜ḭ̴̘͙͖͍́ͥ͊̿̾s̛͙̦̩̭̥͙̤̯̹̊̆ͫ̆ͬ̾̚͞ ͈̠͂a̬̬̻͓̻͆ͮ ̶̤͙̣͈̼̩̾͗ͬ͞m̶̥̼̥̩͉͔̝̖ͮ̒ä̞̯̙̱̫ͥ̋̀ͣͦț̫̜̳͈̪̫̉̒̆ͦ̂̈́̎̾ṭ̣̑ͬ̆ͫ̒̎̀͡e͋͆̍҉̶͇̪̞͔̰̰̼r͗ͧ͌ͦͪ͏̤̳̣͔͚̠̜ͅ ̒̒͂ͯ͏̱̹̯o̵̬̦̱̮̬̯ͬ̆ͫ͑ͩ͌̅͘ͅf̢̨͙̥̠̥̘ͬ̑͛̓̾ͯ̀ͩ̾͝ ̻̠̠̮̪̝͇̮̐͜p̷̭͈̼̗̯̰̮͛̇̅̓͛ͬ̚e̛̘̼͕̫̱̲̘͖ͨ̉͐ͨr͎͚̼̗̟̰ͫͪ́̒͒̽̓ͅs̪̙̪͖̋͗ͣ̽̎͘͞p̫̲̤͗͘͟e̛͓̦̤̙̅̓̉́͂̂ͩc̨̺̗̦͚̱͌̀́ͯ́̀̾͋ţͯ́̂̾͂͏̯̮͓i̟̩̓̌͒̌̆̉̾̈́̚v̵͓̲̻̳̟̳̺͙̔e͕̖͖̤̭̮̞̎͛.̧͖̖̮̺̝͌ͭ̏̇͊͑ͅ ̪̜̹̠̬̿ͨ̈͒̀ ̶͓̳͙͈̳̦̞͕͂ͯͩ̓ͮ́̾̀́Ą̘͉̍̏̓̀͆̈̑̚̚n̈̅͂ͩ̂͏͇̻͉̯̙d̸ͧ̽ͣͬ̈́҉̸̥̼̻̯̻͉̜̮ ̠̭̬͔̽̿ͯ͆̈́͑̽͢͞ṡ͙̭̻̺̜̮̥̒̄h̞͈͍̣͉̜̺ͭͩ̀ͅo̴͒ͥ̿́ͮ͏̪̠r̡̛͓̫ͧt̵̼̣͈͓̠ͯ͋̑ͬ̐́ͅ-̷̫̠̀͑̓̏̈́̓ͯl̴̡̦̖͖̣̆ͤĩ̤̤ͬ̊̆͐̈́͑̐͟v̵̝͎̬̻̤͔̗́̒ͤ̐̍ͩę̖̜̭͊ͪ́͑d̢̢̰͇͙̱ͥ̂̊͛̄̋ͩ͟ ̵̻̙̘̯̅̈́̿͜͟ͅo̷ͤ̚҉̮̦͔̝̬͕͎̫n̙ͬͭͨ̅̒̓̋͞͝e̴̩̤͓͋ͦ͘͠ͅ-̠̫͚̍̉ͦ̐̀l̨̖͈͇̤̭̖̤͒̾̅͢ḭ̧̱̺ͧ̓͐ͭ́̚f̲͍̺̦̰̜̩̞ͨ̀̍̎̊͂́ͅe͚̮̠̠̠̥̰͂̈́̍͒̕ͅt̩̟̹͎̟͍̜̗̞̑ͯͯ̎̑̓͡͠i̛̞͖̮̠̺̻̽̆̃ͥͥ̐ͅm̵͓̼̥͍̜̒̋ͦͤ̋̾̿͡͞e͈͚̣͖̘̼͍̫̾͌̈̋̕ ͑̅́҉̥̖̫̹͓͇̞͔f͒ͯ͊̈̾҉̲͕̩̻̪ͅl̸̢̳̬̝̼̽ͥ̑e̤̤͍̼ͤ͋ͣ̽ͫͧͮ̎ͅͅs͈̘͇̘̟̣ͩ͑͝h̡̡̭̭̥̖͎͔̣̮ͤ͒̓̾ͣ͑ͬ̄͗ ̚҉̸̜̦̫̬s̗͍̲̹̳͙̠͓͍̈́̅̂͛͗́a̧̪̥̱̣ͦç̛̝̥̪̣̰̙͔̾̉̉̋͛͆ͅk̻̫̘͈͚̫̼̱̿͐̑͝s̴̠̪͑̈͟ ̴̼̲͔͈̺͇̌͌̏d̨͕͍̱͎̦̮͔̽̽ͯͬ͟͢ö̲̰̝̞͍̤͙̅ͣ͌͌̏̕͢ń͓̤̘͕̔̋̈́̈́͌̂̅́'̣̫̫͗̔̅ͧ͂͟t̴̸͙̯̥̖̙̠͚͎̂ͨ̾̋ ̠͋h̯͔̥ͨ̔͆ͯͥ́a̴̷̢̱̻͇̞̰͈ͣ̂vͯ͏̫̞͖e̳̫̞͚͎̥̱͇̎̍ͭ ̡̤͕̪̱̉ͥͬ̈́̉̏̓̔͜a̸͓̲̦͇̺̳̫̟͍ͮ͋̑̒̊̍̍͞n͇̜͉̳̈́̈́̍͛ͥͨ͊ͯy̨͚̥͇̝̣̋ͦ.̸̤̻̬̺̉ͥ̒ͬ̓̆̋̌͡ͅ

 

Spoiler: context, also actually a spoiler

My mom, after watching The Bad Seed.

 

Because we're single points, and good perspective requires triangulation?

 

don't be rude to the flesh sacks. >:(