I am constantly having to retrieve things from my bathroom trash. That seems to be my most absentminded room. Well, maybe second to the kitchen. I'm not sure. :)
Once in sixth grade I accidentally put gum in a mailbox on the street corner. I still feel guilty about this.
There is probably a faded piece of mail still adhered to it that a bitter old man mumbles and tugs at each time he goes to his mailbox, but to no avail. It is stuck.
Sometimes I'll just get mugs out and put them down because it is part of my caffeinated bean/leaf juice routines. Even if I don't want any. And then things just sit there. And sit there. Also sometimes I completely misread English words because I thought they were in Cyrillic. So I read Pomona as Rotopa on a regular basis. That and I can't read titles of names that spell out English words with Cyrillic letters that look vaguely like entirely different letters in the Latin alphabet. So like using Д for A just confuses the shit out of me.
The worst I've run into is when people start hacking up kanji to look vaguely like English letters. Because then I can't parse ANYTHING.
i... love all those things... i love alphabet scrambles... and those scripts that read as a different word upside down, or have different letters hidden within the larger letters...
>gonna get a pair of shoes they haven't worn in a while out of their box >finds the shoes they want to wear after a bit of searching >leaves room for unrelated business >comes back to put on shoes >puts on their everyday shoes while looking straight at the shoes they specifically searched for and laid out >Realization hits in 3... 2... 1... >facepalms into the sun
Doing the dishes, Elph-style: Start filling basin before checking water temperature, thus resulting in a half-full basin of room temperature water. Turn down tap and move it away from the basin until it's warm. Start debating whether or not to wear gloves, because yay dry/clean hands, but ew ew ew the sensation of a little trickle of water getting in ew EW EW EW NO, and also because they're not really needed to cope with the temperature because the water is lukewarm at best. (Optionally, remember to add dish soap.) Realise the water is probably actually hot by now, and move the tap back to the basin. When it's nearly full, remember to put the dishes in. This causes the basin to overflow. Turn off the water and feel guilty about wasting it. Choose the appropriate sponge, cloth, or similar implement, and spend a while staring at it and contemplating the texture. Pick up a dish. Scrub at the parts that have had food on them, forgetting that the outside exists. Worry that you're spending too much time, or not enough, on the dish. Repeat with each dish, plus get confused every time you go from washing bowls to plates or plates to cups or whatever, because they each require a different way of cleaning and recalling each of those is difficult. Each time you put one in the drying rack, you have to a) remember how it goes in the drying rack (is this backwards? Upside down? Will other things fit?) and b) feel super grossed out by the feeling of water droplets rolling down your arms. Worry that the water is getting too dirty, and that you're just spreading grease around. Leave the cups on the side, because they will show the grease the most. Categorise them as 'not in sink' and therefore forget to wash them. Get upset that the dishwater has gotten on your clothes, because that makes them dirty/smelly/feel gross, and laundry is MUCH harder to do than dishes. When finished, dump out the water and put away the sponge, then turn away from the sink and realise there are other dirty dishes scattered all over, which you failed to notice or forgot. (There are a lot more steps, but this is the basic structure...)
today i put a tub of butter in the sink and rinsed it off as if it were a dish. i didnt even notice until a while later when i went to wash my hands. :||||||
Well, this morning I was determinedly prying a slice of bread from the loaf with a butter knife so I could have toast because...you guessed it...I had put the bread in the freezer yesterday and the loaf was frozen solid.
My mom calls that "doing the donkey's trail". She and I do this mainly when walking or driving: we'll get distracted and take a habitual route that does not in the least take us to where we're actually going (i.e. she'll try to drive us to the mall, and then as we get chatty shell realize she drove us halfway to her workplace, which is not close to the mall at all)
my mother does that EVERY TIME WE GO SOMEWHERE. i have no sense of how far away things are from each other so i don't notice, either. :P
I am not allowed to drink anything while doing watercolors because of this. Paint water is not tasty, guys! And milk does not clean your brushes well!
last night I tried to unscrew the top of a tube of crazy glue with my teeth. ... it was the kind of glue tube that has a hole IN THE TOP, and does not need to be unscrewed, which I had not realized... crazy glue in your mouth is unpleasant and I cannot recommend it, 0/10
I've heard people complain of having their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths, but permanently would be a bummer. :)
I have put my phone in the fridge so many times, and then turned the house upside down for hours trying to find it. It never occurs to me that it's in the fridge, because I put it there absentmindedly while spacing out, so I only find it when I go to make a cup of coffee or something and need the milk and there's the phone, on the top shelf next to the pickles. It makes me so annoyed. I have more than once dumped a pot of cooked pasta and boiling water directly into the sink, forgetting the strainer. I always empty the sink before I do that so luckily the pasta is salvageable, if a little dubious. I spent like six hours walking around in a book fair once, even though I was in a lot of pain and wanted to leave. I just couldn't figure out how to accomplish that. Apparently "find a door and use it" was too much for my brain. I sent a message to my brother's phone while I was using his phone. I don't know how I expected him to get the message when he didn't have his phone and I sent the message from his phone, but I did.
