shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

young hate. so adorable.

call me vwhen one of you ends up fucking the other in the ass and not evwen in the less painful vway.

 

"It's more like rivalry than what you or I think of hate, but the trolls call it hate," Valiska says cheerfully. "Not everyone has those kinds of feelings. But the Pines family is pretty good at it. There's Dipper and Loreli, Mabel and Paz, and I swear sometimes Stan and my sister flip pitch. It's like you really really like someone, but they make you mad at the same time."

 

and the avward for ovwersimplification of the svweep goes to...

(just completely edit out all the nuance, vwhy dont you. as vwe all knowv, pitch relationships are exactly like dating an asshole flush. not a single difference.)

 

Valiska gives Dualscar a dirty look. "Soundy is a kid. He is not a troll. He may never flip pitch for anyone. I haven't, and I don't really know what it feels like, but I know it's important to them. The important thing for Soundy to know is that it is an adult thing, or at least a more-grownup-than-he-is thing, and a romantic thing, and that it's different from the relationship Ford has with Sev and me, so it doesn't mean Ford's broken his troth, and it doesn't mean they're really going to kill or maim each other, even if they sound like they might, so there is nothing for the kids to be afraid of."

She sighs just as dramatically as the Cronii do. "I know. Valiska's a terrible hippie. How dare she want to reassure the children that the adults are having fun, even if what they're doing looks scary?"

 

thats the tamest pitch flirting ivwe evwer seen in my life. youd see more torrid themes in a fucking cartoon for vwigglers.

youre treating him like hes incapable of understanding simple romance just because you dont.

 

(Oneira watches the spectacle between Valiska and Dualscar from behind her bar counter, with a bowl of grubcorn.)
Sounds like we've got an expert over here.

 

-Looks at them as if they both started speaking a language he doesn´t understand.-
Ok so it´s a hatey romance thing? Why are you both so upset about it? It sounds boring.

 

-looks at Oneira- Do you know why they´re upset?

 

considering ivwe had experience vwith the black quadrant for longer than shes been alivwe, yeah, id consider myself an expert.

 

I can take a guess -- Valiska tried to give you a rundown without drowning you in the specifics, and Dualscar got offended because romance is a bit of a central topic in our society due to its structure, and can't bear the existence of acceptable simplifications.

 

that vwasnt an acceptable simplification.

 

Maybe, but I'm pretty damn shore you did knot have that undersanding when you were a wiggler, or would've understood it.

 

"I'm not upset," Valiska says. "I was for a while, but I'm not any more. If Ford gets hurt, I'll patch him up, because I love him. I'm annoyed with Dualscar because he wants me to tell you about things I haven't even experienced myself. That you won't need to know about until you're interested, and that might not ever even happen."

She smiles at the qitten.

 

if you dont knowv vwhat the fuck youre talking about, then vwhy are you talking about it.

 

Ford looks back up at @The Handmaid. "So do we talk about this in private somewhere, or do we have to put on a show for my wife to explain to the kids while Dualscar heckles her? I am actually not an exhibitionist, you know."

 

"I was asked," Valiska says. "And I think I understand it as well as I need to. Given that it's happening to my fosterlings, and now to my husband."

 

clearly you dont, seeing as you apparently think it means lovwing someone annoying.

 

"She sa1d as much as she needed to say." Sunshine shrugs. "Why do you want to g1ve a juven1le Transformer a d1ssertat1on on k1smes1s relat1ons? He th1nks romance is bor1ng. She 1sn't treat1ng h1m l1ke he's 1ncapable, she's treat1ng h1m l1ke he's a cur1ous d1s1nterested observer. Wh1ch he 1s."

Sunshine sighs. "Look, 1 used to be Ford's k1smes1s. He 1s a quadrant-fl1pp1ng bastard and he 1s pale for the whole damn un1verse but that apparently 1s what @The Handmaid hates about h1m, and are you gonna tell her she can't have what she wants?

 

"That is a vast oversimplification of what I said," Valiska hisses at Dualscar. "Romantic hate is a much bigger deal than simple annoyance, but what you don't understand is that it is not like what people who aren't trolls think of as 'hate'. For starters, most non-trolls don't want to be anywhere near the people they say they hate."

 

Well there goes my date idea of slaughtering orphanes puppies in front of a crowd. Shit.

But if you're offering then, yes. Let us run from Shitfins and his eternal bitching.