shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

(The rat drags the slice away, doing their best to nyoom out of arms reach. 3/10 bad service, human-looking person is yelling at them, did not receive any scritches or pats.)

(unfortunately they spent too much attention to thinking about pizza and get a claw caught on their Definitely Legitimately Obtained food. rollarollaroll goes the pizza+rat tangle)

 

(Troll Sloane gets up and approaches the pizza-rat tangle and picks it up as gingerly as possible, attempting to figure out the problem and how to fix it. She likes animals.)

 

!!! 8(
(their tail is flailing around as they try to get their balance. pizza rat emits a small squeak, but their claw doesn't seem to be injured by its unexpected pizza encounter. It looks like it's just caught in some Delicious And Rightfully-Owned Pizza Cheese)

 

(Troll Sloane inspects, and then carefully frees the claw of the cheese, puts the rat down on the ground, places the pizza next to the rat, and then returns to her original seat.)

 

Cinnamon growls at the rat. Don't steal from her human!

 

Paz sighs at both Cinnamon and Norm.

"Let the rat have it. It's not like I'm going to eat it after a rat touched it."

 

*sighs* Alright. But that was really mean of it!

 

finders keepers.

 

It still was mean, though!

 

then vwhy didnt you get back your property.

 

The rat got its spit all over it!

 

Paz is scratching Cinnamon's ears, because she doesn't actually want to discourage Cinnamon from being a good guard, although growling before the rat touched the food would have been more useful. "Not really. There isn't a lot of food for them here. And that's what rats do."

 

so vwhiny AND picky.

 

"If you don't like the people here, you can always hang out somewhere else." Paz shrugs.

 

Can't it will up its own food if it's hungry?

No! Other people's spit is bad! Not as bad as their poop but bad!

 

its this or eternal replays of my shitty and unfulfilling life.

 

(Oneira pales a little)
Sounds...
I mean, thank you.
(She takes the plaque back gingerly)

 

Paz considers the rat. She has always believed that rats were disgusting creatures, and then Bill came, and after she escaped from the dream bubble, she learned that they're edible if you're desperate enough. But...it's actually kind of cute. Now she doesn't know what to think.

"I don't think so," she says after a moment. "I know Cordelia did, but thylacines have bigger brains than rats and I think they know how to walk through dreams."

She manifests a second slice of pizza in the area where the rest of the rats are. Being hungry sucks, whether it's because your parents have instructed the servants that you're being punished and there will be Consequences if they feed you anyway, or it's because a giant asshole triangle has fucked up your whole town.

Paz laughs. "So you're just as pathetic as everyone else here, apparently. At least I like my life now. I come here to dream about food they don't have where I live and hang out with my clade when they're here."

 

(f r e e d o m

the rat carefully nyooms away with the pizza)

(pizza rat, high on tiny rat adrenaline, cares not for the Pizza Guardian Marsupial. They have stolen fire from the gods a food and it looks like they're going to be able to eat it)

(Somewhere, a clever rat is grooming thoughtfully and may someday succeed in summoning a snack.)

(meanwhile, a rat who is maybe not the brightest is busy drinking from a water bottle that she just happened to notice, exactly where she expected it to be, and exactly when she started wondering where the water bottle was)

 

... oh. Yeah, I guess animals would be different.