Out of context quotes thread

two quotes emitted by me a month apart:

"I can't wait to start doing butt stuff!"

"You wanted to do butt stuff, don't start whining now because it's harder than you thought it would be"

Spoiler: context

I was talking about gluteal muscle exercises at the gym.

 

"For Canadians, celebrating Pride is cultural appropriation, because it's an American event."

 

@albedo: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT THE TERMINATOR
@bluefox: i have goats now! they live in a pit under my house.

 

"How was church?"
"Jingoist! Well, not really. We just sang hymns to the state as well as to the, you know ... God."

 

"Oh my god, no, we are not imagining fencing buttplugs."

 

"scorpios have no chill acey is chill as hell"

 

Okay, so I could probably just paste half of what my friend Hiatt says into this thread, especially because sometimes the weird stuff is the context, but for now, just have this wonderful line:

"i just got back from the adult bar for grown ups where i drank alcoholic liquors :0"

 

"Okay, so, for this story, we have Johnny, a doctor, who's married to Johnny. Then one day, he runs into his old friend Johnny at the bakery..."

 

Connanro-chan: I’m obviously a mythical creature that doesn’t exist.

 

Lmao sperm contains dna.if you have sex with a bunch of people you have strands of all these people's dna sitting within you for months at a time. Also creating embryos is a much more permanent form of this process

 

"My gemsona will now always wear yoga pants."

 

@emythos i thought that said "gensona" at first and concluded that people are now drawing representations of their gender id's

 

I want someone to do this now.

 

“I would advise a distance considerably longer than a furlong, sir. Having observed your aunt, I am of the opinion that dragging a stallion over a distance of 220 yards is well within her capabilities.”

 

Which book (?) is that from?

 

it's from what ho, automaton. a jeeves and wooster parody where jeeves is actually a robot and wooster has aspirations of being a detective. it was pretty entertaining.

 

@Starcrossedsky