shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

The Dark Lord? Heh, it sounds like you're talking about Voldemort or something.

Yeah. The giant robots seem like something out of a comic book Juice might read.

 

...
[juice appears a juicebox of grape juice, and offers it to the unfamiliar alex]
i'd say it's likely that you are either dreaming...or dead

 

(or both.)

 

...yup, that too

*sweats nervously*

 

"....we.....are..." Alex said slowly, "although in our world having the audacity to say his name would most definitely get you killed and imprisoned. I suppose I can't say I'm surprised you're comfortable saying it if you're not from our world, though I question how you know his name to begin with...."

 

[Alex stares at the book she is currently reading. It's Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows.]
...Uh, in that case you might wanna take a look at this.

Wow, I can't believe there's actually a world where Nosetradamless is real.

 

"....your book? What does..." Alex peers at the cover. "....Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows have to do with anything?"

 

It's a fictional book that describes events that occurred in your universe. Or an alternate universe, if I'm hearing you correctly and Moldywart McNostrilslits actually won in your universe.

 

"Well, yeah, of course he did. To recite the propaganda, actually, 'there was very little resistance upon the Dark Lord's miraculous return, thanks to his remarkable wizardry and his daring courage and willingness to go where no wizard had gone before. None were powerful enough to stand against him upon his return, so great was his power. The second Wizarding War in Europe was brief, and, in fact, can hardly be called a war. All dissidents were quickly captured and killed, and a peaceful and pure future for the wizarding world began under the Dark Lord's new regime.' Or, you know, something like that," Alex finished, rolling her eyes. "And now most of Europe is controlled by him, and in the future he'll probably hold the entire world in the palm of his hand, we are all doomed, etc., etc.....but hey, what happened in that alternate universe?"

 

Uh.

Spoiler: harry potter spoilers obviously

Harry Potter and his friends destroy all his horcruxes, then he perishes during the Battle of Hogwarts after the killing curse he casts on Harry backfires

 

Alex blinks. "....Well, I don't know what Horcruxes are or who Harry Potter is, but it sounds like we got the short end of the stick."

 

Yeah. Yikes.

 

"No kidding," Alex said with a sigh, turning to Sloane as she felt the Slytherin tugging on her sleeve. "What is it?"

 

"We could totally get rid of him!! I think. Maybe? I thought of a plan! But it needs you. For, well, logistics and stuff?? Because you're the smart one, and all, who knows how magicy stuff works. But we could totally get rid of him! I mean, assuming things happened in our world similarly, but Harry Potter just like, died instead of Volde--the Dark Lord, we can totally fix this! We need a Time-Turner. But like, one that can go back in time wayyyyyy in the past--we'll have to figure out how many years back that was, I guess. Also internet! We need to go on the internet, Mabel sent me a thing, oh yeah, there's a girl called Mabel here, but she sent me stuff--email, you know? Anyway, we just have to use the internet, and a Time-Turner, and we can probably....oh, wait. I'm not explaining things very well, am I?" Sloane paused. "Um. It was clearer in my head when I was figuring things out earlier."

 

(a little eevee wanders into the rave. it looks around.)
....eevee!

 

*squee*

 

*relatively tiny squee*

 

(the eevee looks about again and approaches dom. it sits at his feet and looks up at him.)
eevee! eevee!
(it seems to want pets.)

 

[Dom sits on the ground and scritches the Eevee's head. Truly he has been Blessed.]

 

(the eevee makes little happy trilling noises, and proceeds to climb into his lap.)