ask anything about DID

//nods in agreement to "such a different system"

//surprise, another person with DID

not to interrupt, but regardless of Core!Mom's memory, not all systems' memories work the same way. amnesia is usually involved, but ive heard of systems who don't forget what happens when an alter is out. for me, it typically varies.

 

More like Clinton. She's still very How Are You An Adult Already, because I was only six or seven max when the car accident and subsequent concussion happened. So even though she's still had ten years to adjust to that ten year gap, it's still a big adjustment to make.

One of my favorite stories post Rip Van Winkle (who I think is who you mean) is that she came downstairs and I was using full size adult scissors to cut my colostomy wafer and she "full named+ WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE SCISSORS??" and I was very ???? "doing what I have been taught to do...?" and then she course corrected and was like "Oh, right, teenager. Sorry."

 

Right. Rip Van Winkle.

 

me: joins a chat, explains I have a system
person in chat: I have a system too!
me: cool
same person: yeah they developed like a year ago
me: ....you know what I changed my mind fuck you

(they're 17. cutoff for DID: age 9. and this person was very, very sure their alters developed a year ago--that was when their trauma happened.)

 

question, if it was answered upthread just lmk and ill find it

why age 9? what is it about age 9? thanks

 

is it something to do with how the brain develops? i thought alters usually developed because of trauma at... any time?

 

cutoff for DID developing is age 9, the cutoff for OSDD is a bit later
once you have DID, you can develop alters any time, but if you don't have DID by age nine, it's not happening
it is something to do with how the brain develops, and a failure to properly integrate the personality because of trauma, or at least that's the current theory

 

so the brain environment that makes DID happen develops by age 9

thanks! (srry im super low on spoons rn)

 

yep!
and yeah, of course c:

 

things I feel like sharing that we have learned over recent times
if someone's vaguely paying attention to what's happening up front around the body/person fronting, there are certain ways to like....idk how to explain it, there are things that can draw the alter who's idly paying attention "closer to front", in a way. like, let's say Ray was idly paying attention to what I was doing, and then I put on something he enjoys, like a Let's Play of Halo, suddenly he's more interested and paying attention more intently, but that can, at the same time, bring him closer to almost being in a co-fronting state. it's almost like there's....not a split between fronting/not-fronting, like we originally thought, but a gradual set of degrees between fronting and not-fronting? and so sometimes, something will draw someone closer to front, and they're still not quite fronting, but they're definitely closer to being fronting than they were before. interestingly, some alters are really attuned to emotions/physical reactions in the body, and those will bring them closer to the front--like Dan, the protector who's existed the longest, if there's some sign of distress up front, suddenly he's way more present near front than he was before distress happened.
also, talking aloud is a good way to get the attention of one or more alters if they're not paying attention and someone up front needs them to. so like, let's say Yang needs to switch with a particular person, but the person's not paying attention and speaking internally isn't working to get their attention (because internal communication should come with a tagline of It's Faulty), then Yang can get their attention by either saying their name out loud, or saying something they'd pay attention to out loud. and then we have sort of "distress signals" that we'll say aloud if we really need certain people/everyone available paying attention, but we reserve those for times when they're needed, and I'm not gonna write them here just in case (would rather not cause an unwarranted panic at 6am).

 

.....also, we're sort of starting to wonder if I'm not actually the original core, and maybe just an alter who the core integrated with, which would be....strange. kind of interesting, I guess....but I don't like thinking about it. it's something my therapist brought up, though. I guess it's plausible. I don't like the idea, though.

 

The idea of not being one's own original core sounds terrifying. And also interesting, but scary.

 

idk mostly it's just....weird
like? I don't know. if the core is still around it's not exactly their life anymore, but we're fairly certain the core integrated, probably with me. I'm the closest we have to an actual original, but I'm still not, which is....weird.
it also kind of just reinforces my desire to not integrate, because....I don't know. if I am not really the original, then I theoretically have no more right to be here than anyone else in this system. but there's no way to get the actual original core back, and even if we did, who knows what they'd remember and how long they'd have been uninvolved in daily life. so it's sort of a....I don't know. people always seem interested in separating "the original" and "the alters", as though the alters somehow have less right to be here, are less people than the original, and have less rights and meaning than the original, but that's not the case? which is why I (and some others here) kind of dislike the term 'alters' and why I try and do my best to refer to them as 'systemmates' rather than anything else. alters tends to imply a....'lesser' feeling. like, the original is the only one who really belongs here. the alters are just interlopers. but some of the alters have been here since the body was four. if we're right about the fact that I'm also an alter who the core integrated with without others noticing (because that's definitely possible, just like there can be people that other people in a system are unaware of, a new alter could easily integrate with the core and then become the main host without anyone in the system really noticing), then I can pinpoint when it probably happened, and that means I would've been here for a shorter time than some others here! if we're going to be basing things off "who was here first, they have the most right to the life and the body", then by all rights Dan ought to be the one who fronts the most. but he's not and he doesn't want to be and no one would make him be, but it just....ends up bothering me when people try and determine who the 'original' was so they can determine who has the most 'right' to be here and live their life.

 

This sounds kinda weird to me because what I had always heard was that it was only possible for alters to integrate with the core (and other alters) and not the opposite. Doesn't make much sense when I think about it, though.

 

that's not the case at all. the core can integrate with the alters--the core has no special properties where integration is concerned. the only reason the core is special at all is that, in theory, they were the very first personality to exist in the body. that in no way makes them the dominant personality, or the personality that will come out on top in integration. being the first personality in the body doesn't mean you'll be preserved throughout integration. honestly, being the first personality in the body doesn't really mean anything except that some of the alters probably came from you initially, and you existed first. but there's really no way to know who's going to be integrated and who's going to stay between two personalities--and at the end of the day, all the core is is just another personality, simply the one who's been there the longest.

 

Yeah, that's why I said it doesn't really make sense when I think about it. Don't know why some people apparently think that.

 

probably because of the idea that seems pretty pervasive in both the traumagenic community and the medical community, which is that somehow the original is inherently more important and has more right to a life than the alters in the system. this is one area where I'd take the endogenic community's view over the traumagenic community's, honestly.

 

....do new personalities split off from everyone, and not just you?

 

they can? I mean....if another person who is not me was fronting and something traumatic happened, a new personality could absolutely split off from the first person. it just tends to be that I front most often. basically, whoever fronts the most is usually who new personalities split from, but only because the person who fronts the most is most likely to be fronting when a trauma initially occurs.

 

Not-the-original-but-still-the-main-frontrunner fistbump. I don't really like the term 'alters' either, I've just found myself using it more often here because I don't want to get laughed out of town.