shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Places being more occupied than you expect is always fun. Most interesting case of that I've had thankfully wasn't lethal to any of us. Almost was, given that Brier almost shot my brother dead on the spot. The Mando'ade body guards? Those were expected. The rancor? That was expected too. A pair of jedi? One of which is the brother I hadn't seen in over a standard decade? Not in the slightest. Wasn't happy with it either. Our mark was someone he and his master were taking off to Coruscant for a trial. Or going to take. Bit hard for a corpse to stand trial.

 

{Stalker]: I'd imagine so! Our most interesting... I'd have to say the parasite zombie D-bees. We hit this CS outpost outside a mixed village. They've started arresting D-bees for existing, which matches their politics but they're pretty far from where they usually operate. Out that far they mostly observe and try to pick up info about the Lazlos and Tolkeen instead of performing actual 'police' operations. So we're hired to break in, see what they're up to, get people out if we can. We know things are screwy when there's a lot more prisoners than people who went missing. They won't respond to any language Static's universal translator is suggesting and when we find one who broke out but couldn't escape he?- it? they?- ends up following us about a foot behind, growling like a damaged engine. Morgan picks the lock on one of the missing villagers our new pal jumps the poor fucker like he's trying to eat her. He wasn't really listening to reason so we had to kill him, decided reasonable villagers were more of a priority. Was hell when we found the main prison controls though, all of the strange growly bastards tried to eat everyone and the parasite had jumped species a few times so a few former villagers had gone growly omnicidal too. Fuckin' CS encountered the infected on a patrol and either assumed the villagers were responsible 'cause all D-bees look alike to them and everything's an anti-human conspiracy or they decided to experiment on the locals. Micah was the one went through the logs, declared them thoroughly unhelpful, and torched the place.

Don't mind saving a few extra asses. Just not so happy when those asses try to eat me.

 

D-Bees?

Sounds like a kriffing mess, that. Never been very fond of damning entire groups like that. Yes, I suppose assassin droids are horrifying. No, I guess no one actually thinks they're "people". Didn't stop me from trying to keep a set of them from being "dismantled". Everyone being driven mad by a parasite makes that a bit more complicated though.

I suspect I'd still try anyway. Stubborn that way. Father used to say atin'la sa striil o'r loras'yamika.

What is you do, exactly? I'm guessing not bounty hunting. That's my line of work. We've ended up on battlefields before though. People always have someone they want dead in particular and information brokers are more than happy to share.

 

[Stalker]: If there were any of the original host species who could communicate Micah would've tried to save them, even without knowing what happens if you remove the parasite.

'D-bees' are Dimensional Beings. We used to call them aliens before the coming of the rifts, but they come from other dimensions as much as other planets. We still split them between D-bees and supernatural creatures though, even if the line's blurry as fuck. Something that came from the same home realm as a demon might be considered a D-bee if it hasn't got much magic, for instance. Even if it might be psychic instead. The Coalition hates everyone who's not pure-strain human, and they count things like demons and D-bees in the same boat. They're not even fond of humans with psychic abilities really.

We're... whatever we need to be. Sometimes bounty hunting, but not often nah. Sometimes security for the Lazlos, sometimes we do odd jobs for them too. Rebels, I guess. The Coalition's got a lot of enemies and we get paid to be a pain in their ass. Most of it's harassing patrols and outposts, the occasional raid- keep the Dead Boys focused on us instead of D-bee villages or rogue scholars or whoever else is around who can't protect themselves from that kinda attention. Twice we've stolen from their ~super secret~ science base. Wouldn't call it a heist- that implies subtlety, which some of our team (myself included) are severely lacking- but we broke out two of the big guy's pet projects in broad daylight, made him look like an incompetent tissue wad in front of the Emperor, and with the second time let them know we could probably do it again if we wanted. The rats like us, much as they like anyone who's not a rat.

 

"I meant it's either a curse and you guys can get it off them, or it's biological and Sev can fix it." Paz shrugs.

"Hey, is that an Eevee? So cute! Come here, sweetie!"

 

(the eevee makes happy trilling noises.)

(the eevee snaps at the wiggler's hand, and gets to its feet, moving out of the lap it was sitting in. it does not take kindly to attempts to eat it, and it is now watching the wiggler closely. if another grab attempt is made, the eevee will bite.)
eevee.
(its tone is very clearly warning the wiggler off.)

 

D:

 

*the mighty huntress pawnces in, ready to celebrate page fur hundred and purrteen*
-giggles- "But fur real, hello effuryone!"

 

Guessing that removing the parasite isn't pleasant. Death's preferable then? Unfortunate.

This Coalition sounds like a lovely bunch. I'd say they'd get along with A'den but that's definitely not true. The one thing they share in common, an excessive hate for outsiders, would be the catalyst. See, my culture is almost the opposite. We're very insistent that any and all beings can be Mando'ade. A'den takes a murderous approach to this. Very convert by the sword or perish. Or perish because he feels you insulted him. He gives his namesake, wrath, a very bad name.

Sounds like you're a bit of everything job wise. Does sound like you keep busy though. In a good way. Or my sort of good, anyway.

 

good page number

 

*The mime shrugs. Frankly, he's waiting for that dank page 420.*

 

((OOC: i got so confused and thought this was the tumblr thread and wondered when i started rping in it))

 

*The teal wiggler plops squarely down onto their hands and knees and hisses RIGHT BACK.*

 

(the eevee growls at the wiggler. it is not food, dammit.)

 

*They're doing their best to puff out their chest like a TOUGH PILLOWMONSTER. Fear their plushness.*

 

-suddenly a horrible drooly monster with six legs pounces the wriggle and eevee at once because it is that large and horrible-

 

Hey, you might not want to do that.

-Stentato taps Jorin politely.-

 

*NOPE nope nope nope. Where's @Pillow Monster? The teal wiggler has decided they are done being fearsome.*

 

(the eevee is unimpressed, but continues to watch the wiggler closely.)

 

(((GUESS WHO FAILED TO NOTICE THIS)))

(the eevee yelps and then promptly scoots away from the....thing. it is now Upset and a little angry. its fur fluffs out.)