Bad, Hilarious, Or Just Absurd Baby Names

Also, speaking of """creative""" spellings, I just saw "Cortni."

Like Courtney, but ~*special*~. I'm just amazed it didn't replace the C with a K...

EDIT: I also just saw Vyncynt. VYNCYNT. Vincent is such a great name, why did you have to fuck it up???

 

…maybe I'm just sleep-deprived, but the idea of a child being named "France" is incredibly funny to me right now. Just. "Hi, I'm France. This is my brother Austria and my sister, Burkina Faso."

 

We've just done a unit about Japanese naming conventions at uni, and we looked at names with fucking weird kanji. And like, people get creative, which is pretty cool except for when no one can fiucking read the kid's name.

See for example, a child named Marin, whose name is written as 海 - sea. Which is not pronounced 'marin' at all, but Marin comes from marine. So therefore you use the kanji 海.

It's fascinating and cool, but I kinda feel sorry for kids who are constantly having to explain how you say their names.

 

I think kortni looks more asthetically pleasing than cortni.... for some reason, all i can see is the word cork

 

I knew this joke was coming.

 

Perfection.

 

holy fucking shit this is like how the umineko names work christ

 

My friend's Japanese friend's wife is named Jyuuri. At first, I thought he was married to a foreigner named Julie. No, she is Japanese and her name is Jyuuri. The kanji for her name is super fucking complicated, apparently. I have so many questions.

 

I think if your name is Vyncynt you are legally required to front a goth rock band. Or you should be, anyway.

 

For the uninitiated to Umineko, everyone in the family has a name made up of weirdly chosen kanji that are pronounced like Western names instead of the more common readings of those mixes of characters. Because Kinzo is a westaboo fuck. Literally no one can read these people's names correctly. So like this madness 留弗夫 is read out as Rudolph and no one would get that on their first try because what the fuck even.

 

This is an increasingly common naming trend in Japan. I work with kids, and while most of them have more typically Japanese names, some of their names are clearly Western. E.g. I know a Reo and a Niina.

 

i am so happy knowing this is a real trend

 

(In that same class, those of us who aren't Chinese all came up with kanji for our names. Mine is 恵系. I'll give you a virtual hug if you figure out how it's read.)

 

This just makes me think of Light Yagami because I am a weeb

 

Story time!

When I was in 6th grade, we went to a science camp thing as a class trip. One of the girls from another school was named Presley, which...honestly I think that's a pretty dumb name on its own, but it's not unimaginably bad.

Now, Presley was kind of an asshole, and also...not terribly bright. And one day she announced that she wanted to name her future child Potassium.

Fucking. POTASSIUM.

I pointed out (rudely, because I was a little shit at 12, but still) that Potassium was a terrible name on many levels, and she was all, "WELL I'M GONNA NAME MY BABY POTASSIUM AND THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!"

Long story short, I really hope that if she's had kids by now, she has developed less fucking stupid taste in names.

 

Oh dang I just remembered I once knew of a little girl named Africa. Yes, she was white. No, I have no idea what the heck.

@prismaticvoid I thought of Light Yagami too! (But I didn't mention him because I hate him so much.)

 

There was a white kid named Asia at my elementary school. She was a few years younger than me.

 

I have no idea and am just going to say K.K. Slider.

 

There was a Chinese girl named Chyna at my high school's attached primary school.