My phone once autocorrected "Jesus Christ" to "Jesus Christmas", which was so absurd that I decided to keep it for my very own use.
My parents were not fans of us young'uns swearing in the house. My response to this was to swear out of the house until I was an adult. My brother's response is considerably funnier: he took to creating inventive euphemisms, some of which have entered our familial lexicon. Some of my favourites: "pizza chickens!" [fucking hell], "oh for pork's beans", and "ah fudgecakes". As you can see, most of these involve food...except the ones that are just gibberish, like "rargle frargle" and "sham-bam-llama-llama-ding-dong" (which may actually be a reference/quote?). He has since joined Tumblr, along with one of my sisters, and our current favourite Tumblr swears are "you absolute fucking walnut" and "asstown".
You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel Found on tumblr, invented by someone named Paul on facebook.
naw, "so dumb he couldn't pour piss outta a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel" is a classic southernism, it's probably a hundred years old at least. i think a lot of these are older than people think. i keep running across things i thought were modern when i'm researching old slang and speech patterns for writing. old-west stuff is a particularly rich well of creative shit, because there was a sort of trend of writers and journalists collecting it, so a surprising lot of it got preserved. it feels kinda similar to tumblr, what with people going out of their way to coin weird and clever and silly phrases rather than going for maximum insult.
In hungarian, there is one that translates to " may you shit out hedgehogs". You may add the technical term used fir babies that stay in the womb head-up and are harder to give birth to.
Breech? That's a great one in any case, I like it. My mom speaks Irish Gaelic, and a lot of Irish curses are really great. "May the cat eat you and the Devil eat the cat" is one of her faves--I might ask her for a list of 'em, since so many of them are super creative.
Notably that used to be a really, really bad word, the kind of thing parents would beat a kid for saying. Now it's incredibly mild.
"Golter-yeded gawpsheet" is an Old English curse of unknown meaning. "Shades of Satan" is one of my personal favourite exclamations.
"Ye gods and little fishes" dates from at least 1900-ish if not earlier, according to what I just looked up. Nobody really knows where it came from for sure, though there are theories.
that. is really cool. it was cool in Boojum because there's a weird ... fuck, i definitely can't explain it. It's weird. (It's short, too, so I'll just toss it here)
hmm... I've always been fond of using the term Fudge Buckets when I can't actually curse (usually because of my mom's daycare kids)
