shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

You have me!

-She runs over, keeping a distance from Marcus.-

 

But that's not right, no person should be a 'tool' or a 'non person'! That's some Blume level bullshit, like labeling all fucking black men being labeled in the crime profiler to be at least 43% likely to commit a crime.

Well, I mean, if you wanna.

... That sucks man, I'm sorry. We lost someone, on a much smaller scale though. I mean most of our stuff is in one little city, but we do have code on satellites circling the globe. I mean I can back off if you want me to it's just... It's not right. It's wrong and unfair.

*Sad activist is sad*

 

"I'm sorry, you are-- quite a bit smaller than my optics are calibrated for!" [He leans down to look, frowning.] "Is there a medic you trust or should I look for someone skilled at patching organics? It was just a cleaning drone someone taped a few knives to, I'm sorry I didn't notice it before it got to you!! I moved it in a new direction though!"

 

[He shoulder bumps him affectionately and then offers him a beer. Don't be a sad.]

 

*Flashes a tiny smile at Wrench that just sort of grows because FUCK Wrench can do that to a man*

Thanks man.

*Pops the top off with a bottle opener attached to his weapon-masquerading-as-a-key-chain.*

 

"No, of course you may call yourself whatever you want, but...usually I hear that phrase from people who think they're not crazy at all." Valiska smiles at him. "I am saner than I ought to be,
but I was also engineered."

"As you should; I can't fault you for being careful of people you don't know--that's wise and will keep you alive no matter what sort of species you're living among. But I will point out that I'm not offering to take you back to our place, so I really am not trying to lure you in. I am just stating that..." She sighs. "Oh, hell. I don't know about t-fae, whatever you are, but...humans have terrible, nonfunctioning vestigial vomeronasal organs, so they can't really smell other people, and that means that they have a really hard time figuring each other's intentions out. But I wasn't smelling anything but flirtation coming from that direction."

 

[Does bonking his face into Wrench's hand for an assisted facepalm count as a high five?]
I should go back to talking about stealing hands.

[He holds a hand out. Because yes. Yes he has her too. She's gud.]

...
Ew you're getting emotions all over everything you freak.
[Quick quick quick, distract from sincere emotional responses]

 

-She grabs his hand and sits down. This is fine. She's right next to humans but she's fine, they aren't touching her.-

 

Hey cool do mine while you're at it.
^_^
[He holds out his own beer bottle. He'll yea.]

You steal hands?
!_!
*_*
!_!

Do you have any hands I could break apart?
?_?
[Pat the face. Pat pat.]

 

[He shrugs]
Don't gotta mean you're recruiting to make the Hideout sound like a good group. I wouldn't shittalk Crawler's Den, and they can hardly recruit anymore what with being pretty full of holes right now.
[Should he explain factions? .... naaaaaaah]

 

"No, just D.Va. Stage name! But call me Hana, I'm not working. You're Valiska?"

 

......
*Starts cackling and flops over backward. You broke him. You did it.*

FUCK fucking 'you freak' FUCK! *snort-laugh* Quit jumping like a freak... *Trails off, wheezes, drinks while laying down much to his own regret*

*mutter mutter LIKEAFREAK mutter snicker laugh*

 

[Gentle handholding. The most bromantic thing possible]

[Yes good face pats]
I steal like all the fucking body parts.
[He summons a bunch of hands. Some of them look weird, with two opposable thumbs or they are barely hands at all and more multi-tool-claws like Scanner's right. There's an alarming number of the spidery-fingered ones that look like Scanner's left, some of them with numbers scratched into them]

 

*Pops the bottle open, still snickering*

 

9_9
^_^
[He kicks him in the shin, but affectionately.]

Yes, hell yes, HELL MOTHERFUCKING YES.
!_!
*_*
^_^
[He pats Scanner's face a couple more times, then sets his beer down and drags one of the hands over. He has a screwdriver now. He has a dream.]

 

Gay.

-She chuckles.-

 

You weren't there I nearly died the day I saw that.

 

[.... FUCK.... If Marcus looked a little less like a human... fffffffffff...........]
[He uses his claw to flip Marcus' hat off his head. Friend maybe????]

:D <3

VERY
[He sends her a disgustingly pastel-y 80s carebearreaction image with way too many hearts]

 

*displays an obnoxious blingee heart because cute*

Spoiler: Gif

 

I bet I can find a nightcore remix of that somewhere.
^_~

<3_<3