Let's Go Steal a Dungeon (MotBM IC/Campaign Log)

Stella finishes filling her pack with lapis and moves alongside Sarnai.

Beyond the corridor is a vast room over a hundred feet on each side. White lamps in a strangely arched and latticed ceiling cover the floor with crisscrossing shadows. To the left, the room adjoins a slightly smaller, circular space where the light seems to constantly shift. Straight ahead, on the far side of the room, is an open doorway. On the right, the room begins to narrow about halfway across, with a convex wall that suggests another circular room on the other side. In that convex wall, there is another doorway leading to the right about a hundred feet away from you.

The cloaked figure in the center stops pacing as soon as you pass from the corridor into the main room. "Well, hello," she says. Her voice is low and amused, but carries through the echoing space. She speaks perfect Common with the accent of nobility. "The Maze is already full of surprises."

 

While waiting for their remaining companions to be ready to move out, Liron takes a few pieces of stone up and drops them in their pack, including a mid-sized piece weighing about half a kilo. They also pull out a scap piece of paper full of calculations and scribble down a few more on one of the few blank spots left, checking their mental math on how much they could actually do with that much lapis.

 

Alabaster gives the cloaked woman a slight bow and greets her politely in Draconic.

 

The woman approaches the party, lowering her hood.

She looks almost human. But two curling horns like a ram's jut from her head. Her skin is nearly the same rich blue as the tiger's, but hers is almost certainly living flesh.

She returns Alabaster's greeting in the same language. In Common, she says, "I am Lady Crucem Capilli." Her eyes appraise the group, deep wells of blue darker than her skin. "You're not from here either, are you?"

 

A lady, of some origin that she has such distinguishing features, seemingly traveling alone in this place. After the difficulty they've had since the canvas' moonlight gave way, that's intriguing.

"Well met, lady," Sarnai replies, smiling to emphasize her greeting. "You are quite right! We are recently traveling the Maze, in admiration of its arts and mysteries."

Perhaps best not to mention its wealth. No need to introduce themselves as potential rivals, if the lady is here for plunder. Instead, Sarnai opens her eyes just that little bit wider, academic curiosity at the front of her thoughts.

 

Liron heard the word "mysteries" and felt like that as as good a cue as any to do what they do best- bore the ever loving fuck out of distract someone by talking about magical theory.

"Yes, this place truly is amazing! The spells used to create it must have been truly incredible. I can't even tell if this place is a pocket dimension or part of another plane entirely."

 

The Lady smiles. "It's lovely to meet fellow connoisseurs. In fact, I have a proposition I'd like you to consider.

I am a collector of the strange and beautiful. Unfortunately my talents and expertise are ill-suited to such acquisitions, and I find myself in need of smaller and more circumspect people. If you take anything from the Maze that you do not wish to keep -- anything, that is, of aesthetic interest and value -- I will happily purchase it from you."

She nods at Sarnai. "That canvas, for example. It seems to weigh you down. Would two thousand be a fair price?"

 

Sarnai lets surprise cross her face, because truly? Who even carries that kind of coin into a dangerous place, than someone truly fearless of its dangers? She forces skepticism and apology, that kind of furrow in the brow of someone trying not to look utterly incredulous and not quite managing.

"Oh, that's so generous! But, I don't appreciate it for its aesthetics? It is a very solid, dark canvas, after all," Sarnai twists to show Cloak Covered Room, as the best lies are told with truths the listener can verify for themselves. "My interest is in some intriguing magical properties it has! We're planning to examine it properly upon returning home."

 

Lady Capilli smiles. "If you wish to keep it, by all means do. Remember that my offer stands. I don't suppose you saw what became of either of those remarkable pieces that passed through here a few minutes ago?"

 

Well, that stings. Sarnai doesn't resist the flinch and feelings of guilt as she answers. "I regret to say, I do. They came upon us when we were clearing out some unruly flora, and... well, we were using forceful methods. One of the flowers struck down that beautiful bird, and the lion..." She trails off, letting Lady Capilli fill in the blanks.

The truth was, if only that room had a door so they could rest and plan, she would have very contentedly spent an hour or two rearranging the pieces of the two now-shattered sculptures, muttering words of mending over them, to at least restore them to their original form. Yes, the lion seemingly chose to waste its artificial life in outrage for the misunderstanding, but it had been beautiful.

But that's enough introspection. Time to show that they sure would like to help, if only their goals and methods were more aligned. "I don't suppose you have any suggestions, how best to keep such beauties from danger, when there are such hostile creatures roaming around?"

 

"Avoid spellwork that can't be finely targeted. Trap without killing. I'm afraid anything I tell you will be terribly general." The lady sighs. "It's a pity, but I suppose it couldn't be helped. If you manage to retrieve anything else, do bring it to me."

 

This game is moving offsite! For those following along, I will be cross-posting the adventures of Our Heroes to this thread at irregular intervals. Stay tuned.

 

esotericPrognosticator
Lyriae steps out from behind Sarnai and sketches a bow—not so deep as to seem mocking, only a shade beyond a nod—and makes steady eye contact with Lady Capilli through her bangs on her way back up. "My lady," she says smoothly, half greeting and half acknowledgement of rank. Her accent has morphed from guttersnipe to respectable young lady, tinged slightly with Elvish on the vowels. "My companions and I would like nothing better than to—provide our services, but—" and here she quirks a wry little smile— "this is a maze. How are we to find our way back to you? For that matter, how are we to know what items merit your attentions?"
The Frood Abides
“Your unknowing path through the Maze has an aesthetic purity of its own,” the Lady says coolly. “Excessive signposting on my part would spoil it. I’m confident that you can retrace your steps. Its layout is consistent and static in most places, though its contents are anything but. As to your second question, if you are uncertain, find something that is framed or otherwise on display. The Medusa is known to keep a wondrous gallery, and if you have no confidence in your own artistic judgment, hers will more than suffice.”
Wiwaxia
alabaster politely asks what is going on in draconic
The Frood Abides
She responds in the same language.

Spoiler: Draconic

I'm hoping to buy some art from you and your comrades."
Wiwaxia
Are you a collector? How did you get here?
The Frood Abides
Ways and means. None that would be open to you, iceling, unless you can fly for days without stopping, or sniff out dimensional rifts in the dark. Yes, I am a collector.
Wiwaxia
alabaster thanks her, and politely expresses regret at having to ask her to repeat herself
"unfortunately, my translator", alabaster elbows lirion "is somewhat distractable"
thegrimsqueaker
Liron grins sheepishly. "My apologies, ser" they say to Alabaster.

thegrimsqueaker
"I wonder if this place has anything against us marking our path," Liron mused. "Or, rather, its guardians. But then, I don't think I have enough string to see us all the way through the maze regardless."
The Frood Abides
The Lady exchanges a few more words with Alabaster, then shakes her head in frustration. "Ukh alachto ...is there a tongue that all of you speak?"
esotericPrognosticator
Lyriae has been regarding Alabaster's linguistic shenanigans with growing alarm, mingled with professional appreciation of their ballsy con. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what that con is, and in any case the idea of Alabaster being in charge without her knowing what the fuck is going on does not sit well with her. "Elvish," she hazards, in that language. Her accent is... interesting. "To some extent." She quirks a self-deprecating smile, with a little gesture behind her that could mean anything from c'est la vie to none of those fuckers behind me are any good at it either.
thegrimsqueaker
"Ah," Liron chimes in, "apologies, all. Ser-" they wave in Alabaster's direction and nod at him as respectfully as they can manage. "-was simply asking the lady how she arrived in this place."
The Frood Abides
She responds with a single word. In Elvish.

Spoiler: Elvish

"Carefully."
esotericPrognosticator
Lyriae laughs. "Of course! We know well how dangerous travel into and in the Maze can be." She gives a rueful shrug, making sure to display the bloodied makeshift bandage on her arm. "But Sarnai knows more about our method of travel than I."

 

swirl
"Oh, well," Sarnai waves a hand, as to brush the compliment off, and feigns feigned modesty before replying in Elvish

Spoiler: reply

"We can talk of things like that later. Too many details in the middle of the experience spoils it."

thegrimsqueaker
Liron translates everything the rest of the party says in Common and Elvish into Draconic for Alabaster

Spoiler: Draconic

"Lyriae mentioned how dangerous this travelling the maze can be, and told the lady that Sarnai would be better able to explain the particulars of our travel methods than she. To which Sarnai said that details can wait."
"Oh and before that Lyriae told the lady that the rest of us speak Elvish, and I translated your question about how she got here, to which she said 'carefully,' which is very concise for what must have been a very interesting bit of magic."

The Frood Abides
A response in Elvish from the Lady.

Spoiler: Elvish

"Yes. Quite." It's unclear from her satisfied smile whether she's responding to Sarnai or to Liron.

thegrimsqueaker
Liron translates that into draconic for Alabaster as well
They're unable to keep themselves from adding some color commentary to the translation.

Spoiler: Draconic

"Aaand she just said 'yes, quite' without specifying whether she was referring to my comment or Sarnai's, so it was probably both. She seems to be very concise about wordy things."

thegrimsqueaker
Liron turns to the lady and starts talking to her in draconic

Spoiler: Draconic

"What can you tell us about this place, my lady? How was it created? Is it a pocket dimension, or just a small section of another dimension? And why is so much of the art so violent? Also, who created the art? And how did they animate so much of it?"

The Frood Abides
She slowly looks the group over, as if doing sums in her head. Then she drops back into Draconic to respond.

Spoiler: Draconic

"The earliest stories date to the hazy region where history converges with legend. It would seem to be a pocket dimension, or demiplane, though it borders others. You would have to ask the Medusa herself how it was made, or why she chose the artworks she did. Her taste is impeccable but her unifying aesthetic is remarkably abstruse. I imagine it's a result of refinement over thousands of years."

thegrimsqueaker
Liron pulls out their notes, looks at them, and starts a new page after writing the answers to some previously written questions.
Then they resume their questioning in draconic, bc switching languages isn't going to happen until hyperfocus has run its course

Spoiler: Draconic

"So who is the Medusa? Is she a gorgon? Is she the Medusa from legend? Do you know her personally? What's she like? From what that Chantrelle person said, she seems rather easy to offend. So what did Chantrelle do to earn the Medusa's ire? Is the Medusa immortal, or does time work differently here? And do you often get adventurers here? If so, how? And how do you judge 'often' if time works differently here? And why are you, an art collector, here in this gallery rather than somewhere you can acquire art that doesn't spray hallucigenic acid at your face? Not that this place actually seems like much of a gallery. And to whom would you be selling the pieces we find, to be able to give us that kind of money for them? Also, why would the Medusa have this place? It's an odd layout for a gallery, and the pieces we've seen so far seem more like they belong in a menagerie. Do you know any tricks for navigating the maze? Or any safe places to rest? And why was someone whispering about burning things from this direction earlier? How do we get out of this place? Are there any shifting rooms or passages we should look out for? Oh, and I think my friend Lyriae wants to make out with you, what with the way she's been looking at you."

thegrimsqueaker
At the end of Liron's barrage of questions, they nudge Lyriae in what they think is a helpful manner, bc they've completely forgotten that Lyriae doesn't speak draconic
Wiwaxia
Alabaster blinks slowly -- a wince with plausible deniability, really
The Frood Abides
Lady Capilli's lips go back in a strained smile. "So many questions," she says, softly, in Common. She has a lot of teeth. "I think it would be more fun to let you find out on your own."
thegrimsqueaker
Liron translates this into

Spoiler: Draconic

"She said it'd be more fun to let us find out the answers on our own. Which I guess is answer enough to the question of making out with Lyriae."

then looks to their right and pales. They then tug at Alabaster and Lyriae to get them to notice the imminent massive art attack
Wiwaxia
Alabaster responds briefly in draconic, then looks where Lirion tugs

Spoiler: Draconic

"That would be even more forward that you're already being, i think"

Wiwaxia
Alabaster looks, then looks again in increasing confusion, and says something in draconic.

Spoiler: Draconic

"What? What are you doing?"

thegrimsqueaker
Liron responds in draconic, then taps Sarnai's shoulder to get their attention

Spoiler: Draconic

"I think we're about to see more of the artwork. Oh! I think that's what the lady meant by 'fun.'"

Wiwaxia
Alabaster says something in draconic with a mix of apprehension and exasperation

Spoiler: Draconic

"Can you be more specific, please?"

thegrimsqueaker
Liron answers in draconic

Spoiler: Draconic

"There's at least one very well camoflauged thing on the other end of the room, near the door. What I saw was humanoid-shaped, but I'm not sure how many of them there are."

Wiwaxia
Alabaster starts half-whispering in draconic -- low, fast, and serious -- while they swing their backpack off their shoulder and start going through it for their flour.

Spoiler: Draconic

"Okay, thank you. Is it coming this way, and does it look agressive? Can you let the others know quietly and specifically what's up?"

thegrimsqueaker
Liron nods and leans towards Lyriae and whispers to them in elvish, then tugs Sarnai a bit closer and repeats what they told Lyriae

Spoiler: Elvish

"To our right, on the far side of the room near the door, there's at least one very well camoflauged creature."
"Sarnai, could you tell Stella please?"

esotericPrognosticator
"Oh, gods," says Lyriae in Common, having had enough linguistic shenanigans for the time being. She really does not like not knowing what her idiot partymates said to get the Lady to smile like that. Then, frowning at the far side of the room, "Oh, shit." She sounds more resigned than frightened. "Oh, fuck."
esotericPrognosticator
She frowns, then nods to herself and pulls a tiny vial out of her component pouch, upending it to dump black-flecked sand into her palm. She murmurs over her cupped hands for a moment, then hums a few notes as she opens her hands and blows the sand toward the far wall. The sand glitters gold in the air, swirls, then disappears.
The Frood Abides
Three reptilian figures, currently mottled white and gray, thump to the floor -- one falling off the wall to which it had, apparently, been clinging. Three more become obvious as they move sinuously through the doorway.

The Frood Abides
Liron and Sarnai can act.

swirl
Sarnai nods at Liron, leaning over to pass the message along to Stella -- in common, because there's no other common languages between them that she knows of. It's a shame to disrupt the sudden whimsical dance of tongues, much less the incomprehensible schemings half of them are playing at... but, really, it's not her fault. It's the lizards' fault for interrupting. She strides out towards the approaching lizardfolk, gritting her teeth as this puts the Lady at her back, and knicks her hand with the edge of her axe to draw the blood necessary for a spell. No puns, just an incantation as she shakes her hand off in their direction. [Moves to N12, Action: Casts Bane as a 2nd level spell. The lizards on Q7, R7, Q8, and R8 must make Cha Saves vs DC 14]

thegrimsqueaker
Liron points at the leftmost reptile and casts a quick ice spell. [They cast ray of frost, 19+5=24 to hit with 4 cold damage if it does hit]
The Frood Abides
The ray hits. The creature hisses and staggers to her feet, shaking the one next to her out of her stupor. One of the back-rank creatures awakens the remaining sleeper, and they all close in, the wounded one at the rear. Two S-shaped, handleless knives and a fizzing bolt of magical energy fly at Liron: perhaps due to Sarnai's enchantment, perhaps due to their recent awakening, none even come close. One creature attacks Sarnai: a short, curved blade in her hand skates off the bard's shield, and her jagged teeth snap shut on empty air. Then Stella hits her like a tornado with axe and sword in hand, splitting the reptile's skull. The Lady looks on with polite interest. She may as well be watching a cricket match.
Everyone can act.


esotericPrognosticator
Lyriae breaks into an easy run, muttering to herself about "fuckin' waste of perfectly fuckin' good magic" as she goes. She cuts around the Lady, sparing her half a grin as she goes, and her muttering turns into an arcane chant. Coming to a stop beside Stella, she takes a moment to line up her aim, then fires off two streaks of green witchlight with a final irritated gesture. [Lyriae moves to L12 and uses her action to cast eldritch blast, targeting O9 with 22 to hit for 7 force damage and P9 with 14 to hit for 4 force damage.](edited)
The Frood Abides
The one wounded by Liron's ray ducks under the eldritch blast. Her companion is not so lucky: Lyriae's bolt hits her with enough energy to sear flesh and crack bones. She struggles to keep her feet.