shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

it got me OFF death rowv!!

 

Yeah.

It sucks though, the 'just surviving' bit. But I made it all the way to poisoning the entire government office where I was enslaved as a cook and causing an important official to shit his pants on a live broadcast, and I didn't even get put down for it!

 

fuckin-- sure, if i see a guard with a fucking bright red blinking master key hanging off his belt i'll try it! otherwise, sounds like a great way to, again, not pass go, not collect 20 credits, proceed directly to BEING COLD CUTS

that's so cool <3_<3

 

maybe if you ACTUALLY TRIED IT instead of immediately shutting the idea dowvn, itd vwork better.

 

Yes.

Now they've fucked with my memory and thrown me into a prison planet, but jokes on them, shit down here is waaaaaay better than my standard of living before.

 

fuck off! do you just try every shitty plan that comes into your head?? how are you still alive???

man, i would kill to go to prison.

... which is, like, how i think prison is supposed to work? but noooo.

 

See I figure step one is 'don't get caught' but that's not super helpful when you're already caught. Especially if you don't have friends on the outside to bust you out.
>_>

 

i believwe in myself!!

 

kinda hard to do either of those things when you start off caught, yeah. friends on the outside would be ...

...

.. well, useful.

 

Yeah, it's weird, here we get to just do whatever and life in the wilderness or city or whatever and chill, except we don't remember nothing from before. Kinda frustrating, but not a huge punishment.

 

I highly recommend them. WAY better than flying solo, that's for fucking sure.
^_^

 

yeah. well. locked box, key inside the box, etc. same problem as all my problems.

i bet they wouldn't watch me so closely if i hadn't lost my shit so hard, but .. too late to change that now. you try to kill ONE person with your hands.. well, teeth...

 

Yeah, we've all been there. If you're lucky, maybe they'll forget it soon? Soonish?
?_?

I don't know, I try to stay away from creepy doctors too. People in uniforms are bad news, no matter who they work for.
=_=

 

words to live by if i ever get out of here, man.

huh, i wonder if i could pass as the doc, as much as i don't wanna step into her very sensible shoes. (she touches her hair) maybe with a hat.

 

probably wouldn't work on anybody who'd ever seen both of us, though. or me at all. even if i had, like, sunglasses. forget it, shitty plan.

 

[He vibrates with loathing. Nooooo no no no no. It's still fucking awful punishment because he fucking hates that he has no idea what the fuck is going on usually. And the facilitators are creepy. HE WANTS O BE IN TRUE CONTROL OF WHAT'S GOING ON. And he wants to just set shit on fire for funsies. He hates the planet.]
Yeah it's p chill.
[KILLEVERYTHINGWITHFIREBURNITKILLITHACKIT-...]

 

[Stalker:] Yeah murder's a lot harder than people think if you don't know what you're doing. You want disabling strikes because killing is messy and takes time you're gonna want for getting the fuck out. Depending on the boots they're wearing, a good foot stomp might get you far. If not, shin and groin kicks. Even if they're wearing a cup, or are girl-shaped, getting kicked in the junk still hurts and instinct is "crumple and protect vulnerable bits." Even if they overcome it there's a half second of telling their body no, they've got more important shit to do. Your head is hard and faces are delicate. Headbutting people hurts, but it's great for surprising people who've got hold of you and for breaking noses. If someone's got you in a hold, crumple. There's no way to comfortably hold someone who's melting to the floor. If you flick your wrists hard against their fingertips when they have your wrists you can break free- the gap between fingers and thumb is where the grip is weakest. Learn how to take a fall- if you curl up before you hit the ground you can avoid injury and get up faster.

Biting was a good idea, but save it for when nothing else works and attacks of opportunity. Go for delicate parts- ears are great. It takes as much pressure to rip or bite off an ear as it does to open a drink can- a six-year-old can tear off an ear if they wanted to.

 

-She flops on his lap.-

 

That's because you have the air of someone who's been playing politics their whole life.

 

[He plonks his grasper claw gently onto her forehead.]
[He's still anger though.]