Bad, Hilarious, Or Just Absurd Baby Names

I am always up for torturing characters. Bad names are just another means >:D

 

fucking bless <3

 

Sometimes it produces pretty great names! Kimelyn isn't horribly offensive. Elvanda sounds like it would work for a near-Earth-but-not-quite setting. Blancee is terribad and now I want to use it.

 

I know a couple who named their kid Vladimir Thomas. that poor kid. i hope they let him go by thomas in school.

 

To be fair, Vladimir is a pretty common name in some cultures, I think. Although given that some of the best-known Vladimirs are Vlad the Impaler and Vladimir Putin...

 

Actually Vlad the Impaler wasn't a Vladimir, just Vlad. Or occasionally "Wladislaus", 15th Century spelling not being exactly, um, consistent.

(sorry, me and my special interests…)

 

My parents wanted to name me Vlad. I might LOOK vaguely Slavic but that's still stupid.
OK a completely different note, my grandmother on my mother's side was born under the German occupation and the guy who registered her name randomly,without any input from her parents, decided to name her Philippine, after Philippe Pétain. You know, the Nazi collaborator. She goes by her middle name.

 

My personal favorites from this list:
-Phelony (soon-to-be criminal)
-Chairish (like a chair, but not quite)
-So'Unique Miracle Randle (...at least they're honest about why they chose it)
-Rebluntay (more like weed-blunt-ayyy (jesus that was immature))
-Ya'Hyness (well excuse me princess)
-Yr'Hyness (please stop)
-Ledjend (this name is legendarily bad)
-Sir Devin Khan Rajin Xenophon (are you fucking serious with this)
-Ninja Qwest (sounds like the name for a game/movie)
-Abcde (OH COME ON)
-Talightacandle Hope Johnson (you've got to be kidding me)
-Charley Willard Horse Dick (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK)
-Vagena (picture genuinely captioned "Vagena was shy at first, but finally she was ready to come out and enjoy the party!")

I've lost faith in humanity

 

Relevant:

 

On*
I still can't edit posts and only Seebs can do that, apparently. :/

 

Oh, huh! I didn't know that, thanks for the info! :)

 

Try pinging another mod?

 

I reported it, apparently, only the admin can edit someone else's posts.

 

Ahh, gotcha. Is @jacktrash an admin?

 

Yes.

 

Any time you have a burning need to know something about Vlad Dracula, by God I'm your girl. :D

More on-topic, a boy named "Breck". You know, like the shampoo.

 

I've encountered a man by the name of Chisholm, pronounced chizzum. I'm sure it's a perfectly respectable and old fashioned name but his name is chizzum like c'mon parents i guess it didn't sound so funny several decades ago

 

There were kids in my high school (so... late 2000s-ish) with that as their surname, pronounced "kizzum" (or "kizzulm" with a very gentle nearly-not-pronounced L) tho

 

Today I had a prescription for a kid named Gohan. I wonder if they're blonde.

 

"This is my child, Rice/Meal"

(Of course i have to imagine some japanese baby named Bread or Cereal)