Well i mean clearly they learned how2marriage from thr Magic Flute flirty birdman meets flirty birdgirl, they immediately are joined by like 3 small birdchildren
Could always be worse, at least they're not using "the said X" or "the same Y" to remind you that they're still talking about the exact same person or thing they were just talking about. "...it is therefore ordered that the Warden of the Fleet shall take the said Richard Mylward into his custody, and shall bring him into Westminster Hall on Saturday about 10 of the clock in the forenoon, and then and there shall cut a hole in the myddest of the same engrossed Replication, which is delivered to him for that purpose, and put the said Richard's head through the same hole, and so let the same Replication hang about his shoulders, and then, the same so hanging, shall lead the same Richard, bareheaded and barefaced, and shall show him at the bar of every of the three Courts within the Hall..."
-hugs the words aforementioned and latter to her chest- you are precious and i love you you are also dangerous in how you are often misused but you are precious and lovable gods what do people do to you
Also rereading God Stalk has reminded me how much I violently detest prose that isn't at least 50 shades of purple. I require stupid amounts of words, they don't even need to be describing physical things but I need them. Please use words like lugubrious that all of like ten people actually know and only two people can accurately guess the meaning of without looking it up prior to this. I need to use words like lugubrious more.
This happens with ages, too! One of my fandoms has two characters who are only slightly more than one month apart in age and people still think "the older man" and "the younger man" are super-useful epithets for them.
seriously porn writers stop telling me how many inches long a dick is I don't care It does not make it sexier, it makes you sound like you have a measurement fetish. Like when dudes write porn and give the women's exact cup sizes. It's stupid. You can just tell me he's hung, it's fine, whatever. I don't require that level of detail when I just want to read about these characters' sexytimes. (And then of course there are the people who get the measurements wrong; see also, "eight meters". I think they meant inches.)
Yuuuup. I think I posted about it in the badfic thread a while back, it was pretty great. (Especially since the character in question is possessed of epic shapeshifting powers and could theoretically actually have eight-meter-long junk if he wanted, but that was clearly not what the fic was going for…)
Tbf, there are people who actually do have a size kink? But. Yeah. Unless you're attempting to appeal to that, it's...probably not necessary to precisely detail just how big things are unless it's plot-relevant.
I understand transformer-on-transformer porn. I do not understand transformer-on-actor porn. eta: Well, I guess I'd understand if there were no penetration. But I know better.
to be fair, I have written a girl and her car (mostly because there was some seriously hot art of a different girl and her car), and I'm working on writing a girl and her boy who is sexy like an F-22 jet fighter, but those are from the comics verse, and they both revolve around 'holy shit, how do we even physically work this'. But I find the difficulties of resolving that to be the most fun part, not it's not interesting to me to just wave it away as SHH SHH IT TOTALLY WORKS
Yeah! Isn't the whole point of xeno (if it's still xeno when it's robots) "how sexytimes work with vastly different bodies involved"? Why bother if you're not going to think about it?
Paraphrasing relativelylessimportant again; when description is done in strokes too broad, things which one would generally assume happened appear not to have happened. See the fic I MSTed years back where a buttsex scene took place with no mention of lube and then suddenly after it was over there was an empty lube bottle nearby. That was the same one where a guy apparently produced a shotgun from nowhere, as well.
