shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

-has abandoned her duties because jorin must be pet. the other smaller cat too-

 

JAME!

-She pouts.-

 

YOURE ALL AIDING AND ABETTING KITTY THEFT

 

(He did summon a wall, but it only extended for like three feet on either side of the door. So.)

EIFFEL: What in the Christ is this?! No!! You can't eat Mr. Sprinkles!

(He holds the kitten over his head and closes his eyes, expecting the worst.)

 

[rubs his face all over Eiffel's shoes]

 

*Maybe if he believes in himself and jumps as high as his twinky little legs will get him he stands a chance at retrieving Mr Sprinkles.*

 

Oh!

Right.

-pats jorin and then heads back to the stove. the pot is placed on it. she attempts at tentative amount of salt being tossed but fucks this up and probably pours in more salt than is necessary-

He's not going to eat, Mr. Sprinkles. Jorin's blind and a bit of a coward. At worst he'll try to play with the kitten when it's tired.

Or that. He's probably going to start demanding attention soon. I'd be scared if I were you.

 

EIFFEL: (faintly) Believe me, I'm appropriately scared. More than, even.

(Unfortunately for not-FL's jumping efforts, Eiffel is tallish. Fortunately, he cracks one eye open to look at @Jorin and sinks to the ground with his back against the wall. Despair.)

EIFFEL: My life was already much, much, much, MUCH too weird for any sane person, and now this. ... Don't eat me? Please? I'll probably give you killer food poisoning, and I do literally mean killer.

 

-Clover secretly desalts the water the appropriate amount. Jame can never know.-

Okay, when the water boils, add in the dried pasta in that bowl over there. Then wait... 7 minutes. Do you have a method of tracking time?

 

He lets out a happy sigh, especially as the additional warmth envelops them. Out of habit more than anything, he keeps a watchful eye out regardless. Just in case.

"You could always try hiding in the pool! I mean, if you don't mind your clothes being dyed red from all of the food coloring..." He chimes in, maybe a bit distracted by the scene playing out nearby.

 

Mrrow?

[nudges Eiffel's shoes again]

 

-laughs at this because honestly. jorin is just a big baby. an adorable one-

Just give him a nice scratching and he'll leave you be. He just wants to make a friend.

Mental guessing or watching the sky.

 

-She thinks up an egg timer.-

If you turn that dial to the 7 marker after putting the pasta in, it'll ring a bell after 7 minutes. I think there's like... a spring that slowly unwinds until it hits a point where a bell rings? We can take it apart after if you want to.

 

*Kidcatnap attempt is a go.*

 

(Eiffel continues looking terrified for like thirty more seconds, then makes several abortive attempts at reaching out to Jorin's head, then finally does so. He scritches the ears. Ok, that IS kind of cute. This is his life n-)

(GOD DAMMIT. He's lost Mr. Sprinkles.)

EIFFEL: aaaAAAAA HEY-

(... He's still too scared of Jorin to get up.)

 

-grins widely-

I definitely want to.

-sets the timer. eagerly awaits being able to break it for science-

 

FUCKIN SUCK IT

 

*Poor Mr Sprinkles is confused beyond all belief.*

*He just wants some pizza.*

 

You have to set it after the water is boiling and you put the pasta in.

 

EIFFEL: Yeah, you better run! (Grumble grumble nothing ever goes right grumble grumble teens grumble grumble oh god I'm getting old.)