shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

-The tiny man vanishes into Garfield's pocket. A single hand desperately pokes out before he's completely sucked in.-

Sparkly ruffles are nice!

 

"You an anartist?" He raises a brow in curiosity as he processed the exchange that just went down.

 

They have a LOT of teeth and if one of them growled at me I am PRETTY SURE I would shit myself.
/_\

But uh... thanks for the reassurance. Even though it isn't reassuring. AT ALL. Where's the point where you DO let them attack me?
;_;
?_?

 

(One of the Huskies attempts to sneak up on Wrench to sniffspect him.)

 

!_!
[The second he notices he quite literally freezes in terror. He is barely breathing. One hand, running is bad, but on the other he is pretty sure he can't suplex this dog into submission, so FROZEN TERROR IT IS.]

/_\
;_;

 

I'm a DEALS WARLOCK!

 

(Wrench is sniffed, then licked on his arms. There there, no need to be afraid.)

 

/_\
[The terror only increases. He's going to be eaten alive by a wolf.]

 

"Actually, there is an individual who looks much more like a penis than Norm ever has and I don't want them to come back so let's end this argument here. Norm does not look like a penis."

Valiska groans loudly and sets 100 gold pieces down in front of Garfield. Don't think too hard about where she got them given how much she's not wearing, but they're not wet or sticky or anything.

"Give that person back the tiny man, or let it go, I don't care which, and give that person all the sparkly ruffles they want, and no more soul-traffic in this place. I'm a cursebreaker and I'm morally obliged to put a stop to shenanigans like that."

"Of course they have a lot of teeth, they're thylacines, but so do I." Valiska opens her mouth. Her dentition is sparkling and pointy and very carnivorous. "I would not let them attack you unless you were actually trying to harm me, or one of my pride. Do you plan to do that? Then don't worry. Non-sapient animals are far less devious than sapient ones."

Valiska tosses the husky a ball. "Granit! Help me show Aral and Cordelia how to play fetch!"

 

goddamn cant believe i just got responsibly parented by a furry

 

You can't exactly REASON with a dog. They're all murder and instincts. MURDEROUS INSTINCTS.
/_\
[His voice sounds very strained. He still hasn't moved.]

 

wait am i still a furry hold on

Spoiler: gif

 

Aren't dogs the domesticated variant of an already-social species? They probably respond well enough to body language and learned signals, these ones especially given Doctor Pines' apparent familiarity with them. [Eclipse is sitting by the robot cuddlepile, idly petting Venture's wings. Venture himself appears to be passed out again.]

 

Yeah see that's the thing, who knows WHAT signals they're learning? NOT ME.
>_<

 

I don't think it's strong enough to fetch you if that was supposed to be a more subtle attack cue, and anyway she's distracting it with a toy. It's also not displaying aggressive body language of its own if I'm any judge, though I'll admit I'm not entirely familiar with Earth animals. Fauna-focused topics aren't my documentaries of choice, and most of the ship just wants to download cartoons and dramas anyway.

 

(More licks. Shooosh. Silly biped. Maybe he needs a guard dog?)

(ballballballballballballballballballballballballballballballballballballballballball)
(Granit gets distracted from guarding Wrench by chasing the ball Valiska threw.)

 

!_!
[HE'S FREE. Free to climb up into one of the higher pools while still fully clothed. This is fine. Do dogs hate water? They have fur so he's assuming they hate water.]

 

OKAY!

-Garfield sets down the tiny man.-

If someone offers a good enough DEAL for souls this won't cover it, though!

 

[Eclipse frowns.] How about you don't sell people at all?