shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

THEN WHATS THE FUCKING CURSE

 

It kills you!

 

"Think of a crossbow, except instead of shooting arrows it ignites explosive powder or the like inside a small compressed piece of metal causing it to fire at incredibly high speeds."

[ Note: I know next to nothing about guns. Feel free to correct me if this information is wrong. ]

 

Huh.

Sounds dangerous!

 

??????

 

Operative word: instantly.

 

whats the death rate then

 

"Sure is! The metal is a pain to get out of your body, too!" He lets out a laugh.

 

100%.

 

death SPEED

how longs it take

 

EIFFEL: Eventually the death rate is always 100%! Insert canned laughter here.

 

-shrugs-
Sparklings can choose their first weapon by that age. I'll keep an optic on him don't worry.

Minibot sized so... appropriate for a fifteen foot tall mechanoid.

-Nods along with this. This is your captain, kids she is not a responsible adult.-

 

i fuckin kno that why do you think im tryin 2 find out how long it takes to kill you

so thatd be like.........the size of my entire body right

im in

 

EIFFEL: (mostly to self) Unless you're some kind of alien, or artificial intelligence, or godlike being, or... This place is really throwing my worldview for a loop even more than it was already loopy.

 

-She hands the thing over. It's an alarmingly sharp sword with a button on the hilt. The button makes it burst into flames. It's also definitely a prototype. Nichrome why are you doing this.-

 

*The baby has been successfully armed.*

*He's having a hard time keeping it upright.*

 

Valiska sighs. "Don't buy cursed artefacts," she tells TNFL. "If you need more money we can talk, because taking curses off items is much harder than taking them off people. People don't want to be cursed, which almost always makes it easier."

She gives @Garfield a dirty look. "You ever heard of the West Pennarine Parent-Teacher Association?"

 

"Parent-teacher association?"

 

what if i wanna b cursed huh

 

Valiska winks at him.

"You can't possibly say you know you want to be cursed if you don't even know what the curse actually is, and you may have noticed, they're not so quick to tell you that part." She sighs. "Look, my husband thought he wanted to be cursed but...that was because he didn't think it was a curse, and he thought he was in love. Which, he actually was, but the other party, not so much. If somebody is actually TELLING you the artefact is cursed, not only are they shady, they also think you're an idiot. Don't prove them right."