shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

High Command really isn't for everyone. Myself included, usually-- most of SpecOps runs a bit, ah, independently, though I don't envy whoever the current liaison to Intelligence is. As I've said, fame and glory are not my calling : )

 

you get all the crunchy snacks you vwant if you go into a life of crime!

 

Yeah, I'm mostly just curious about sound stuff. Call it an hobby or an agonizing expression of deep self-loathing.

 

hey thanks guy. I like you too. you're pretty big. and I recognize that it would be inappropriate and presumptuous of me to ask for a snack. so I won't. and it's okay that you don't make incredible and inspiring music. when tapped with a musical beak. because everyone is different

(I am trying to be. "open-minded". social interactions are hard. when you're a bird with a small brain. and a natural inclination towards anti-social behaviours)

you are exactly the kind of person my therapist warned me about. I don't know who told you about my history with snacks. but I'm a different bird now

 

Lord Soundwave himself likely wouldn't be the one to talk to in that case unless you're interested in technical specifications and have clearance to that level; his direct subordinates have more sound-based abilities, though nothing quite like yours. And despite whatever difficulty it causea you, I must confess a bit of jealousy! Total silence would have been such a boon on most of my missions.

 

What sort of snack do you want?

 

Yeah! Unfortunately the big wings, while lovely of course, do NOT lend themselves towards sneaking missions. Stentato can slip into a lot more places, but he makes a big racket.

Also, I am interested in technical specifications. I'm an engineer.

 

I do believe I mentioned clearance, darling, and you are most certainly not a Decepticon. We might be at a truce for now but that doesn't mean our technology is available for study.

 

grubcorn vwith fake butter! TOO MUCH fake butter!!

 

Yeah. That's why it's a distant, impossible dream, not something I'd actually try to get. Don't you have those 'gee, it'd be nice if-' plans?

 

Plans? No. A few regrets that start like that, but no plans.

 

Ah.

So where are you now? The TEAM is pretty interesting, I like it!

 

*the seagull frantically grooms its feathers, then patters around in an anxious circle*

it's okay if you don't give me a snack. just to be clear. and transparent. you are under no obligation. to give me a delicious snack. please don't allow my "manipulative behaviour" to force you. into non-consensual snack-giving

please stop trying to sabotage my "personal growth". it is making me anxious

that being said. I would not object. should someone with a surplus of long potatoes. develop an inclination to share them with a seagull

(this seagull. me. specifically)

 

Oh, somewhere, I'm not the one in charge of navigation. Nothing so... prestigious as a diplomatic vessel, but she flies and she has space for all of us without falling apart, so I'm not going to complain.

 

I want to give you a snack, because snacks are free here, and I like you.

Sounds nice!

 

Jezebel laughs, manifests a packet of French fries, eats three of them, and offers the rest to the bird. So it won't have to steal them. "You can have these, so there won't be any sabotage to your personal growth. That said, don't be anti-social around my mother, she has notions about appropriate behaviour for creatures at disparate rungs of the food chain."

 

personal growvth is for suckers, i havwent changed a bit since i vwas a kid and im AWVESOME and evweryone lovwes me!

 

"Sorry, I made my saving throw against bullshit." Mason laughs. He doesn't like the trolls he's met so far, but he hasn't gone as far down the speciesist rabbit hole as Alex has, and some of the trolls around here are pretty pathetic.

 

i mean back vwhere i actually DO stuff, not here. nothing here matters!

 

Mason nods. "No offence, you know, but it's very convenient that you expect me to take your word regarding the feelings of people I won't ever meet." He shrugs. "You might be telling the truth, but how would I know?"