shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

course it isnt a fucking choice. dont you think i vwouldvwe participated if i could. they dont invwite orphaners to join evwen if vwere the goddamn reason theres evwen still an alternia to havwe a court in.

 

thats not how it works, its gotta touch YOUR junk or you cant get infected. everyone knows that.

 

=[) WE ARE NOW, 6UDDY!

 

Lissa glances at Juice. "He wouldn't be a very good lover," she says. "He isn't observant enough. To be really good at sex, you have to have an experimental nature, and be aware that every organism is different, and be able to note and observe different kinds of responses, and to be able to accept that if you're not getting the response you want, you don't keep doing the thing you just did."

 

[Vulcan starts blushing, and confusedly mumbles something unintelligble while rubbing the back of her head.]

 

Lissa rolls her eyes. Explaining things to Jezebel was never this difficult.

"You're thinking of human pregnancy, not sexually transmitted infections," she says with a sigh. "Because humans are never fully aware of their fertility."

 

yeah, i know...i have a boyfriend, but we both decided it wouldn't hurt for me to give cronus a quick peck on the cheek...back when he was sobbing uncontrollably while he was drunk at his birthday party about how lonely he was.

 

youre not even human. why are you lecturing me, the human, on how human diseases work?

that never happened.

 

well, she's right

yup, it did...i'm not surprised you don't remember though...you passed out right afterwards

 

Darling they expect your kind to earn it by hard work, but I can see why that went over your head.

[Her smile grows a little. That would be almost cute if her bloodpusher wasn't made of stone.]

 

pssst. i usually make people pay me to find things out, but this one's so goddamn obvious i'll give it to you for free: you know she's going to, LIKE, chew you up and spit you out, right?

 

*For once, he actually shuts up. Silent glower.*

 

What? No.
...ReallY?

 

[He gets a brilliant smile in return]

 

come on, don't tell me you can't see her manipulating you, she's not exactly subtle. you can practically see the puppet strings, and by that i do mean the literal chains she is literally holding, charity case.

 

didnt do THAT either.

 

She hasn't put anY chains on me, Fam.
That would just be plain weird for someone to do to a clown.

 

[Ophira cackles]
[GC:] Not If The Clown Trashs Into It-
[GC:] Huh
[GC:] Guess Caps Decided To Honor A Deal.

 

...you can keep telling yourself that, i guess...i'm pretty sure everyone at the party saw it happen...you were making a pretty big scene

 

well, no one can say i didn't try.