shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

 

Ford glances at Bill. "Tell me about this nothing good that will happen," he says, though he's already making plans. "I think I know what Mason's getting at."

 

"The way she's acting, and those anomalous abilities... Something's seriously off so I'm gonna take an educated guess and say a Bill is involved. I could be wrong, but hey- there's a very good chance of it being so, in which case it probably won't end well." He gives a small shrug. "If not, there's probably something or someone in play just as bad. I've yet to see a dimension where that's not the case."

 

"A Bill?" Ford raises an eyebrow. "Like my William?" His eyes flash slightly murderous at the notion that Will might have gone to the Condesce--and that Will might actually have cast Lissa into the portal.

 

"Yes and no," he pauses to shift his form into a more triangular one, although he changes back to his more fleshy one pretty quickly and settles back down with his own Ford.

 

"Clock out" she says, "we have it covered" she says, "stop running sweeps every six seconds you're giving Ab a headache" she says.

I'm sorry I don't want to get arsed by Space Warlocks again! And if I'm here who's flying the ship? -arm flail-

 

"Will looks like that, too, when they're not being human or troll. Except he's blue."

 

He nods. "Can't say I know what either of us are now, but I know for sure what I WAS. Still, it's good that they figured out what they wanted to become, from the sound of it?"

[ Edit: Weird wording no matter how much I edit it. RIP :I ]

 

"Is it natural, then, to start out as a triangle and become something else?" Ford sighs. "I'm afraid Will wants to enforce peace and empathy on people whether they actually have cause to feel those things or not. They want to destroy the barriers between dimensions, and also between people, I think."

 

"Varies from dimension to dimension... I wasn't always like that, either. Didn't even know what color was for a good while, where I was from there just... wasn't any." He also sighs, shaking his head. "Forced empathy can have the opposite effect than intended."

 

[Quietly, for a giant robot:] I will disregard my 'no aliens' guideline and find a way to cross dimensions just to take them apart myself. I'm sure Brainstorm is more than up to the challenge, if he can be contacted without breaking cover. [His optics are faded out to white, but he keeps muttering to himself:]

Spoiler: whoa there buddy keep your torture fantasies in private

Can't control how they feel, oh no, I would never-- but being stripped down piece by piece to the very smallest support structures? I'll have to find how their neural network functions and set it on fire, find all the non-essential subsystems and turn them inside out! 'Enforce peace and empathy,' I'll show them peace and empathy...

 

-after getting bitchslapped in-flight by an oni master they spiral. Looks like there's a rift hiding in those trees there. Fuck-

No no nonono shit -their voice is obviously synthetic and gives no indication of gender-

-they land heavy in the rave, all 1200 pounds of dragon 'borg in a graceless heap-

Not my best landing, fuck. -they scramble up and the jetpack between their wings starts... but the rift closes-

-what is obviously the start of a stream of profanity cuts off with a click, followed a few minutes later by another click as they turn around and start examining the rave. Oh. There are a lot of people here. Most even look human(, or like passably human D-bees)! On the other hand... they look up... and up at the transformers. They keep their tail- which ends in a particle beam gun and a vibro-blade spike, dripping with black blood- down, and lower their right arm which is replaced with a minigun and vibro-axe, also bloodied. Look how not threatening they are! (That's a lie. They're a military 'borg with nothing but military applications. But they're trying to minimize ambient threat level.) Their stance is obviously human, despite the very draconic appearance, and also conflicted-

 

[Half choked cackle]
[GC:] Welcome To The Reject Convention, Admission Fee Is All Your Dignity

 

He waves hello, gazing up at them with a smile, noticing that they were at least making an effort to seem less threatening. "Hi there!"

 

[Oddly, the appearance of a bloody dragon seems to settle Afterglow down; he's still clenching and unclenching his fists, but at least his fans aren't making that stupid whining sound anymore. (Beastformers are safe. Beastformers know what it is to be 'reminded of their place,' to play nice until the nobility get bored and move on.)

Afterglow... smiles. Attempts to smile. It looks more like baring those tiny fangs of his.] Nice alt! I'm sure there's a washrack around somewhere if you want to get that before it dries on.

 

-One obviously damaged D-bee, a cheerful greeting, and a civil greeting. Better than they were expecting having just fallen out of the Zone- Oh, yes, that's a good idea. Itches like mad if it gets in between the plates. -they look around and oh, hey, there's some stuff right there. Almost like magic. They wipe off the arm-axe, then flop their tail into a good position for cleaning. The vibro-blade spike is there if they need a melee weapon, but a cannon the size of an infant requires less finesse to bludgeon imps with-

Oh! -they jump a little, realizing they're forgetting their manners, and attempt a bow. 'Attempt' because their tail is still wrapped around their feet, and the stiff arms-at-their-sides posture looks incredibly silly with the gun arm- I'm Yamada Kohaku, Tsunami of the elite cyborg unit of the Republic of Japan. -they leave off the 'this is not an invasion' bit because nobody seems concerned about that. They also look hilariously awkward for a dragon. Nobody covered this- training for rifts was "stay away from them," "don't go in them," and "if you do, try not to do anything that'll make things worse for us at home."-

 

[...Is this the tiniest baby dragon? Afterglow bites back a laugh at their formality but returns the bow somewhat more naturally, one hand over the purple badge on his chest.] Afterglow of Apophenia, Decepticon Special Operations. I don't think any of us are standing on procedure here, you can finish cleaning up if you like.

 

"Nice to meet ya, Yamada! Call me Wilhelm, or Bill, whichever's easier!" He materializes his top hat so he can tip it before it vanishes back from whence it came.

 

[GC:] H.I.C.S.S. Gilded Chain, Helmstroll: Stering Catalyst, Registered Owner: Acalephe Princess
[GC:] Youre Gonna Fucking Trip Over The Tail And Smash Your Pan In

 

-they do resume cleaning- It certainly seems! I don't know anyone who's not retired that would introduce themselves as SpecOps to an outsider. -somehow the metal face, which is not made for emoting at all, looks a little playful-

-well that's interesting! Where did it go? They have more manners than to go looking around him for it-

That only happened once and I'd deny it entirely if there weren't photographic evidence. It's disorienting suddenly being 10 feet tall and having a tail!