shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Jezebel feels like her brain is kind of exploding. She's meeting Mr Mistoffelees and he's real, she's trying to imagine her father dealing all by himself with a human baby, not even a kit, and without her mother or Stan around, and there's a guy with 'DICK' written across his face trying to make fun of them.

This is too weird to be a dream.

 

pretty girl, actually. probably closer than ones ever been to you.

 

"I wouldn't brag about my association with a girl if she felt the need to put that on my face because of it."

 

hardly my fault pyropes a troublemaker.

besides, its proof she was there. good enough for me.

 

What did you do to her?

[he looks horrified, and flattens his ears back]

 

absolutely nothing.

 

Really?

-She raises an elegant eyebrow and summons another cup of tea.-

 

didnt do anything to her, no.

 

So why'd she give you a permanent scar marking you as a dick?

 

nd dont u forget it

apologize 2 mr sprinkles

 

who knows what the inner workings of borderline insane women look like?

 

See, the thing is, I don't believe you. Tell the truth or I'll set your over-greased hair on fire.

 

"Men who abuse women always say they are crazy." Jezebel glowers at him.

 

you master a water charm after the first few times you hear that. also, i AM telling the truth. i didnt do ANYTHING to her.

 

[he visibly deflates. oh, his ego, how will it recover? but he is a gentleman and the show must go on!]

...I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Sprinkles. My deepest apologies.

[he bows with a flourish in the direction of the kitten]

Can I help? I've got a knack for that sort of thing, you know.

 

SHE attacked ME, mate. if anyones the abused party here its me.

 

and isn't that careful phrasing. not to anybody else either? someone she wanted to protect, for instance?

 

Did you do anything to one of her friends?

-Mason's the theoretical magician, but Mab can do a few charms without brute-forcing them. She draws a rune into the air and flicks it at @Douchus Maximo until it settles onto his forehead, compelling him to tell the truth.-

Oh, that depends on his answer, sir.

 

friends?

no.

...yes.

 

Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Datefriend who is neither a boy or a girl? Sibling?