shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

(somewhere in the rave a small rat is eating a tasty snack.

She sniffspects a stash of noms while another rat practices jumping from a ledge to a small table. He leap! ...he gently miss the landing, and groom in embarrassment.)

 

Okay!! It just sounds like a word people use to hurt other people where I'm from, is all. [Groomgroomgr-- stop that. Stop being a bug. Be a good example instead. Thunderwing clicks some more, but takes his claws away from his face.] So you... stay in the Ground? That's-- how does that work? The Ground wants us to fly, it doesn't hold on to sparks for long!

 

WE USED TO BE TRAPPED IN THE UNDERGROUND. WE MADE A NEW HOME THERE. IT WAS CALLED HOME. OUR KING IS BAD AT NAMING THINGS. BUT THEN A HUMAN CAME AND HELPED THE KING OPEN THE BARRIER. THE HUMANS WAS ON MY SHOW YOU KNOW! NOW EVERYONE CAN SEE MY SHOW!

 

-groom friendbug. What do you mean not be a bug?-

 

Shut uuuuup.

 

Trapped? In Ground? There are worse places to be trapped, but...

...anyway, it's nice that you're free now!!

[Leans very slightly into the grooming. Yesgood. Pettins acquired.]

[Some of the smaller prongs on his helm flare out; he has decently sharp hearing, for all his lightsight's awful.] Lies or boring?

 

He's leaving out all the murdered children.

 

RUDE!

 

Murder happens, though...? Why is that something that needs said? I murder. I've probably even murdered a children. What's children?

 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THE HUMAN IS STILL ALIVE!

 

Juveniles. Non-fully-grown. Vulnerable juvenile people.

 

-more groom, but also worrychirp-

 

Wow, great, you guys figured out how not to murder, just too late. Or did you try to kill them but fail?

 

...we don't really have those, except for <eggs>? And I wasn't near those, not my role, I went outside and we were never near enough any smaller hives to try raiding. Do organic children count? I've eaten plenty of those. They're all squishy and get stuck in my fangs but it's still food!

...also, it sounds like maybe minicon-Mettaton didn't know about the murdering, if it happened? Which is a thing that happens. Before I found 'Stream and the others I didn't usually know what was happening anywhere else in the galaxy, just that we were on another battlefield and it was time to hunt again.

[Soothechirp. Shhh, tiny medic, nothing to fear here.]

 

Organic children count.

...although I'm sorry you were starving.

 

gross.

 

I AM AN ENTERTAINER! -upset mettaton noises-

 

Spoiler: decepticons do war crimes

Starving? No, it's just resource al-lo-cation. [He takes the time to sound the word out properly, obviously concentrating.] Most mechs can only eat energon and very soft or small metal!! But we can eat pretty much anything! So we get... well, got I guess, cleanup duty a lot! Organic life doesn't normally do well on mechanoformed planets and if you don't clean it out first it just gets into the seams and starts rotting. [Shudder. Rotting stuff smells nasty, even to him.] And trying to catch them for transport just means missing a lot of them! So we just eat them instead. And get paid in real energon when everything's done, if high command remembers to!!!

 

Did you try to kill them... entertainingly?

 

Okay, that's terrible and I'm disgusted but it sounds like it wasn't really your choice, so I'm not going to hold it against you. Fair?