shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Y0U KN0W WH47 7H3 FUCK 15 UP DUD3
BU7 U S4Y SO M4NY W0RD5
WHY S4Y 4LL TH4T WH3N U C4N S4Y TH37 K4NKOR 1S 4 B1THC4TH CUCK

 

"C*ck" is a slur t9wards th9se wh9 have 6een the victim 9f infidelity. It trivializes their experiences 6y reducing them t9 a mere insult, 9ften used in particularly hem9ph96ic spaces. While it d9es n9t apply t9 me, as I have never 6een in an infideli9us relati9nship, 9r any relati9nship f9r that matter, I feel I w9uld have 6een particularly 9ffended 6y it if I had.

Was my request f9r an ap9l9gy t99 academically w9rded f9r y9ur pr9cessing a6ilities? If s9, I ap9l9gize greatly and will make sure t9 "dum6 d9wn" my general manner 9f speaking.

Karkat, I am nearly sh9cked speechless. This kind 9f vulgary is a far cry fr9m the p9lite, attentive pupil y9u were n9t m9re than a few sweeps pri9r. Have y9u recently suffered an em9ti9nal crisis that is causing y9u t9 lash 9ut? Please d9n't take my interest in y9ur em9ti9nal health as a f9rm 9f c9ncilliat9ry affecti9n, 6ut I feel there is s9mething driving this unnecessary aggressi9n that sh9uld 6e 6r9ught t9 the surface and all9wed t9 fully heal. If we all9w this distress t9 fester, I fear y9ur 9ut6ursts will simply w9rsen.

I w9uld appreciate it if y9u did n9t deli6erately misgender me. Additi9nally, y9ur use 9f human reacti9n images is innapr9priate, 69rdering 9n cultural appr9priati0n.

 

-feels so called out right now-

 

Lissa waves excitedly to see another feline who doesn't look likely to try and shank her.

 

That's what I did, actually. It's an option in some places for humans- you can either replace small parts with mechanical parts or biosystems which mirror real organic tissue, or the whole thing. Only people who do a full conversion with biosystems are ex-full conversion metal 'borgs like me. I traded everything but my brain and... I think part of my spinal cord? I don't actually remember. But if I wanted to retire from the military and stop being an awesome oni-stomping dragon I could go back to being human-shaped with squishy parts.

 

ATTENTIVE? OH MY GOD, THERE REALLY IS NO RETURN FROM THE TRAGIC RECTAL JOURNEY YOU'VE TAKEN. HERE IS YOUR EULOGY, TEARFULLY PERFORMED BY YOURS TRULY. HERE LIES KANKRI, SO FULL OF HIMSELF THAT EVENTUALLY HIS GI TRACT COULDN'T TAKE IT AND HE BURST. I WEEP A SINGLE TEAR. IS IT JOY OR GRIEF? WE CAN NEVER KNOW.

THOSE OF US WHO DON'T HAVE TERMINAL HEAD-UP-CHUTE DISEASE LIKE TO CALL THAT LITTLE NUMBER IN THE BUBBLES *ACTUALLY* BEING SHOCKED SPEECHLESS, YOU GLORIFIED, POMPOUS TUBER. I WAS SO SHOCKED, AGHAST, DARE I SAY TRIGGERED? BY THE FACT THAT SOMEHOW SOMEONE MANAGED TO BE EVEN MORE OBNOXIOUS AND VILE THAN I AM, THAT MY POOR ADDLED PAN SIMPLY COULDN'T FIND THE WORDS.

HOWEVER, I'VE MADE A FULL RECOVERY. IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, SHITWIPE!

 

-cautious wave- This doubles thing is confusing. -conjure up tea: the kind her pride made, kind of bittersweet and made from what rare plants grew in the desert. She offers a cup to Lissa-

 

Ford cackles. "As brothers fight ye," he says, and sure it's a direct quote from the Book of the Law, but that certainly isn't why he says it.

 

DON'T GET YOUR DISGUSTING MAMMAL FAMILIAL GROUPS ON ME

 

Lissa bows slightly, and takes it. "Valisseira, Tempted, of Pines, of Gravity Falls by Queen Carla's grace. Thank you."

 

Wait wait wait. You're human? But you're almost as tall as me! And you're bigger!!

 

Spoiler: gif

 

And you're a beastmode! Can you transform? Are you mode-locked? Are you going to live for millions of years now? Aren't human brains like firm water??

 

Can. You. FLY??

 

This is n9t a c9nstructive use 9f what appears t9 6e an admira6ly diverse lexic9n, Karkat. Additi9nally, I cann9t assist whatever em9ti9nal issue is the r99t cause 9f this uncharacteristic ver6al vi9lence if y9u d9 n9t at least make an attempt t9 9pen up t9 me. Is it a quadrantic crisis 9r an9ther f9rm 9f ad9lescent mentally harmful f99lishness?

 

Please d9 n9t apply y9ur culturally specific f9rms 9f relati9n t9 us. I understand that the definiti9n 9f "6r9ther" is a male individual wh9 was either spawned 6y the same genetic d9n9r 9r raised by them, c9rrect? As all tr9lls c9me fr9m the same "6atch" 9f genetic material, there is n9t a difference 6etween a "6r9ther" and simply any rand9mly ch9sen male tr9ll. Furtherm9re, Karkat and I are fr9m c9nsecutively existing and exclusive universes, and theref9re cann9t 6e "6r9thers" 6y the sec9nd definition either.

 

I'm a full-conversion cyborg! I had my body replaced with mechanical parts so I could be a dragon.

I can't transform, I'm all dragon all the time. With proper maintenance yes, I can live indefinitely. Brains are kind of spongy and soupy but if you're very careful you can either transfer them to a safe braincase-thing or build around them.

I can! Sort of. -they achieve liftoff with the jetpack between their wings, then spread them out and glide, turning the jetpack off. They can keep this up for a while, alternating between jetpack and wings, but not indefinitely-

 

-Her wings are beating almost like a butterfly in her excitement, and while it's not lifting her up because she flies with thrusters and not flaps, it's frigging adorable.-

So you're like an organic and you're becoming a mechanoid? That's how I fly in this form too! I make a jet with my brother but I can kinda fly in my root mode like this! I use it to dance in the air! I'm Lacuna!