shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

YEAH, WELL, LOOK AT ALL MY...ME, AND I STILL MANAGED TO SORT OF WRANGLE YOUR ASS

UNTIL I GOT YOU KILLED.

UH

SORRY ABOUT THAT, BY THE WAY. DESPITE BEING AN INSUFFERABLE CREEPAZOID FREAKYPANTS THAT WAS STILL REALLY FUCKED UP

 

"As I thought, that sounds like her. As expected." She sips delicately on the glass of sweet-wine in her hand.

"Young lady with the horns and the fiery gaze, I did not understand a single word of that. I am proud, of course. Not sure what else."

 

I'm hardly young. Don't look it I guess but I stopped counting after the first like thousand years or so. Conditional immortality will do that to a woman.

You though? You're OLD. Like prim and proper old. We ain't seen shit like you here yet. Closest we have is Glasses and I don't trust him to manage some sort of regal ball gown.

Note to self: Get him in a regal ball gown.

 

-jame sneezes like an animu that knows it is being talked about by someone else and continues with her highlordly business. mostly it involves glaring at these letters from caldane-

 

D --> Ah
D --> Yes, that did happen
D --> I recall that it left me in a great deal more anguish when I discovered that my moirail soon followed me
D --> I thought to myself that perhaps it was f001ish of me to mourn so deeply for someone such lower on the hemospectrum than myself
D --> Especially when she was standing right in front of me
D --> Nevertheless, I shed more tears than I did sweat
D --> But I do not know who I blame for the tragedy at this point
D --> It has been an e%tremely long time since my death

 

"You sound like the sort of person my great-granddaughter would know. Have you seen her? She's taller than me, skinny, lots of long black hair. Big grey eyes, so pale you'd think she lived in a pit, and unable to sit still? She normally goes by Jame." She grins. "You wouldn't miss her if you'd met her, she tends to be rather the center of the whirlwind."

She steps closer to the Handmaid and looks at her closely. "You're not one of those Changers, are you? I don't think so, you're not of my people. But thousands of years? My sympathies, girl. I've seen about two hundred years and that's plenty for me. Are you actually dead, like I am?"

 

That Destroyer Bitch? Yeah I know her. Good person. Least I'm as fond of her as I can be. She gets it. The whole being an augur of death thing. Don't know what a Changer is save that I sure ain't one. A troll.

Also I count down the days till my death the way kids do till their wriggling days. So no. I'm very much alive, and I intend to not stay that way.

 

I WAS GOING TO YELL AT YOU BECAUSE THREE SWEEPS ISN'T THAT LONG AT ALL, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH WITH SOMETHING SHARP, BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WOULD'VE BEEN LITERALLY HALF YOUR MISERABLE TOWEL-LADEN LIFE AND ALSO THAT TIME IN THE DREAMBUBBLES IS BASICALLY A HILARIOUS PRANK RATHER THAN SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY EXISTS WITH LAWS AND RULES, SO CONSIDER THE YELLING PREEMPTIVELY UNDONE

 

...Asked. [He seems honestly surprised.] Well. If it's truly something you want to learn, I can't say it was dumb of you to ask around. Asking the performer himself might've been going a bit far, but it seems to have worked out well for you.

 

She said you're dangerous and that-... that she's the only one who can make sure you don't hurt innocent people...

 

"Guilt isn't usually a problem someone else can fix for you," says Ford. "As much as I want to help, and as much as we both know I'm going to try to, you're still going to be the one who has to live with your memories. I can make you stop thinking about it for a while, or I can listen to you talk about it, but..." He shrugs. "Also, I do not have faith that G-d is going to fix things. I believe we have to do that. Sometimes, I think They are just as confused by it all as we are. If the Torah stories are literally true--and I don't think all of them can be--They've tried, and They've found that it didn't work out like They thought it would. I think G-d is a scientist and the multiverse is an experiment, and when your experiment develops sapience, all You can do is what all good parents do: let it go, sit back, and hope the choices your creation makes work out for the best."

He sighs. "I don't have faith so much as I take comfort from the knowledge that the Ain Sof, the multiverse itself, is also learning and growing, and has made mistakes, and there is no judgement nor perfection, only love in all its forms, the black included, and the Great Work."

 

"...you're not as much of a shithead as I thought you were."

 

Ford snorts. "Hopefully, you're not either."

 

"I still think you should have kissed instead."

 

"I've already got a kismesis, thanks." Ford grins at the Handmaid, a little viciously. He's feeling an awful lot better.

 

Valiska laughs. "It would've been pretty, but...no."

 

"Hmph. I'd like to see what's under all that silk and jewellery, too, and I bet they'd like to watch."

 

Valiska turns bright purple, and drops her teacup. "I'm sure they would," she finally says, "but I don't really think I could do that."

 

"We'll revisit this discussion after you get used to having hormones again, sweetie. I assure you, having not been Sundered, that you don't yet know what you are capable of now that it's been reversed. But as a Scarlet Woman, I would be happy to take on the holy obligation to show you someday."

 

[karkat makes a noise that sounds a little bit like he's been stepped on at all the alt selves suggesting selfcest right where he can see]