shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Are you going to ask until my answer changes?

 

just think.

you couldvwe completely avwoided its reign of meowvbeast-murdering terror if youd just let me eat my fucking lunch.

 

Maybe.

How about you focus on the cat relationship drama instead? I know you like... what's it called again... carring... boating... oh yeah, shipping!

 

[through clenched teeth and a forced smile]

There. Is. No. Drama. Whatsoever! Except where you've made it out of absolutely nothing. He is my friend, Everlasting knows why.

 

*Gestures at his face.*

Is it really so difficult to understand why you'd want to spend time in my presence?

 

And you get bothered by him kissing people.

 

You can be bothered about friends kissing criminals without wanting to kiss the friends in question. Stars know what I'd do if Solus had chosen Maximo over Me-- over our Fallen brother.

 

It is uniquely punchable.

That is not why I was bothered. I thought it was gross that he was potentially kissing one of the grimier members of our species. Who also kidnapped Demeter and Old Deuteronomy, among other atrocities. Is that so strange?

 

dude

my bro

amigo

homie

has it evr occurred 2 u that harping on someones buried crush is abt 10x more likely 2 make em bury it even further

 

... yeah. The only times when I get bothered by people kissing other people are when I think it means they won't kiss me.

 

"Because there's not a ship to ship." Mabel sighs. "Also the relationship drama's not killing anyone."

 

... damn it.

You sure?

... and yeah, it's not but I think the wiggler is just a sapient carnivore, basically. And carnivores need to eat meat. And I don't think the kitten he killed was a person or ever would become one naturally. I mean, yeah, TNFL could be like, "okay, this kitten has sapience now," but I'm pretty sure that he only did that to the fattest one and I don't think the dead kitten is that one.

 

That's well and good for you, but not everyone has your psyche. If my sister were kissing our traitor of a brother I'd be angry because I know he has hurt her and would gladly do so again, not because I want under her panels. This Macavity fellow sounds like bad news; is it any wonder that someone would want to keep their friend from making a harmful choice?

By what I can see of its teeth the grey one's an obligate carnivore, and undefended young make for easy meals. Do you take issue with predation, or...?

 

rip mr sprinkles' innocence 8(

 

I'm perfectly capable of judging for myself which cats are worthy of my time. What can I say? I only go for the top of the food chain, the cream of the crop, the blue ribbon prizewinner. Or, in this case, the cat who stole the blue ribbon.

 

Mabel frowns. "My stepmother's an obligate carnivore and I love her. But I have a cat...and she doesn't eat cats. She doesn't eat other carnivores; she says their livers can make you awfully sick, and she keeps owls and thylacines as pets because they eat meat too." She swallows. "Also I used to have a pet pig." Whom she misses. A lot.

 

... I guess not.

And now I think about it, well... I was wrong. Wrong about myself. I was bothered by Sans getting involved with Zach 'cause Zach is an asshole, not out of desire to have either of them kiss me. *laughs sheepishly* Not that I'd've passed up on Sans, if I had the chance...

... okay. 99.9% of the time, when I'm bothered by a person kissing another person, it's 'cause I think that means they won't kiss me.

 

That's your choice to make, just as your friend is free to call you an idiot for it. [She shrugs.] My issue is with... ah, pits, I've forgotten your name, Worm? Norn? The genie assuming that just because your friend cares about you he must be aiming for a sexual relationship.

I don't know much about Alternian troll digestive systems, but given they seem to eat their own younger instars I can't imagine they have trouble processing other predators...

...Is it the pet thing? I keep forgetting about the pet thing.

 

Mabel rolls her eyes at him. "Norm. You have two boyfriends and a girlfriend. Not everyone is going to kiss you. You need to be okay with that. I only kiss two people and I still run into scheduling conflicts, and we're not even old enough to have jobs. And yes, I am pretty sure that Mister Mistoffelees is not into the Rum Tum Tugger that way."