shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

... Love i think you are upsetting our new friend.

 

You don't have to apologise for being upset, dear! Is there anything I can do to help, or should I back off?

 

Uuuuh...

You're intimidating!

 

-he cackles gleefully and then corrects her pronounciation-

︎□︎●︎◆︎⬧︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ︎︎︎☟︎ ♌︎♓︎♑︎♑︎♏︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎■︎ ︎♏︎♑︎♋︎⧫︎❒︎□︎■︎◆︎⬧︎

Spoiler: translation

Solus was MUCH bigger than Megatronus

︎◆︎⧫︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ♋︎♑︎❒︎♏︎♏︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⬥︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎ ♒︎♏︎❒︎✍︎✍︎✍︎

Spoiler: translation

But I was agreeing with her???

 

Ford raises an eyebrow. "Had I known what the joke was about, I would have said, 'in my pants'."

He doesn't say that it was a rather stupid joke given the original question; how can one skeletal person simultaneously be in both of someone's testicles?

 

"That's kind of like the sign Mason put up in the lab that says how many hours it's been since the last Pines Labs workplace accident."

 

Sorry! [He shrinks down to... not quite normal Cybertronian size, but at least normal warbuild size instead of his Divine Grandeur. Better? Yes? ...probably no. Drat.] Should I leave you be? Would you like to call your darling wife?

Why am I not surprised?

[After a moment, he snickers.] No wonder he was always so worried about her leaving him for someone 'better'.

 

...I would like Index.

 

Lissa's eyes widened.

"I have two very important questions.

One: why can you not get beer and roast turkey legs when you want them, and

Two: which one of you did we fuck?"

 

She might not like it if I just drag her in here, but-- yes. I'll. Stop bothering you and let you get to that. My apologies, Archive.

[No one will notice if he just twists space a little to tap one of his alt-selves to go ask @Index of Caminus to call her wife, right?]

 

I think she is a bit nervous about outspoken explicit heretic statements, my dearest.

 

"...did somebody say 'cryptid hunts'?"

You now have Ford's full attention.

 

I AM INSULTED AND NOT A MAIL SERVICE I TRAP U ALL IN THE SHED AND CALL ASGORE AND EAT SPAGHETTI IS MY BROTHER SANS REALLY IN SOUTH CAROLINA

GASTER WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS TELL ME OR I WILL PUSH U INTO THE CORE AGAIN

THROWS A BONE AT U AND MAKES YOUR SINS CRAWL ON YOUR BACK AND BURNS DOWN UNDYNE'S HOUSE WHERE IS UPDOG

 

[Outright laughter. Sorry, the idea of trapping a seventy-foot tall robot with teleportation powers in a shed is kind of hilarious to said robot.]

 

DO NOT LAUGH I AM ENTIRELY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS UR ROBOT SOUL COULD BE THE KEY TO BREAKING THE BARRIER WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS

 

The barrier? Which barrier, the sound barrier? The light barrier? A physical barrier? I always enjoy a challenge!

I'm afraid I'm not so good at tracking people down as my sister, though, and she's busy right now.

 

THE MAGICAL BARRIER AROUND THE UNDERGROUND OF COURSE BUT WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS

 

NO, WHAT I REFER TO AS "HIEROGLYPHS" IS A DEFUNCT HUMAN PICTURE-WRITING THING. THAT I WAS USING TO, YES, MOCK HIM BECAUSE IT WAS COMING OUT ON MY END AS A PARTICULARLY HEINOUS QUIRK. I CAN UNDERSTAND IT JUST FINE, BUT I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT WHATEVER PUNISHMENT REALM WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW CAN'T TURN HIS OUTPUT INTO AN INPUT THAT IS ANYTHING LESS THAN ABSOLUTE MISERY TO MY AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS.

I MAKE NO GUARANTEES WHATSOEVER ABOUT INSULTING HIM, OR OTHER PEOPLE, ON WHATEVER NEW TOPIC FILLS MY SOUL WITH JOY AND WHIMSY, BUT I'M NOT ENOUGH OF A MORON TO KEEP HAMMERING ON THIS ONE. INSTEAD! I WILL DELIGHT IN THE OTHER FOUL SAMPLINGS OF THE INSULT BUFFET AND SALAD BAR UNTIL I GIVE MYSELF DIARRHEA

 

I can ABSOLUTELY get beer whenever I want, because I'm awesome and also Marcus carries cash.
>_>

I'm ALSO the one you fucked. The other guy's a vampire.
^_^

He bit me once and it was TERRIBLE.
>_<

It's called the SHUFFLER and it's already killed and/or kidnapped at least FIVE PEOPLE.
o_o

Updog's off near Bofa, didn't you hear?
^_^

 

NO HE IS WINGDIN GASTER THAT IS HOW GASTER TALKS I TAKE ALL UR HOPES AND DREAMS WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS