shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

You were getting bit by vampires in sixth grade?
?_?

It's not the SAAAAAME!
;_;

I'm not gonna turn down booze though.
^_^

 

emotional vampires, yes.

 

!_!
*Suddenly he has a 6 pack and there's a couch*

^_^

 

AT THIS POINT, I WELCOME THE COLD EMBRACE OF DEATH. YOU ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT OR JUST KEEP SHOUTING AT ME IN THE WORST ME-IMPERSONATION I'VE EVER HEARD?

THE SHOUTING DOES NOT INTIMIDATE ME, DIPSHIT. AS EVIDENCED BY THE DULCET SONG I SING--A SONG I LIKE TO CALL "ODE TO LARYNGITIS"

 

I SING "BONETROUSLE" IT IS A MUCH BETTER SONG THAN "ODE TO LARYNGITIS" AND I WILL DESTROY U WHILE SINGING IT WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS

 

So like... succubi?
?_?

!_!
^_^
[He flops back on the couch and steals a beer. Perfect.]

 

no, preteen harlots who refused to even give a guy the time of day a week later.

 

...preteen?

 

Oh, THOSE kinds of emotional vampires.
=_=

 

*Flops beside him, leaaaans.*

So! Bite time?
*_*

 

I WOULD NOT BE PROUD OF A SONG BEING BETTER THAN THE HOARSE CROAKS OF A THOUSAND BROKEN WINDHOLES WAILING IN AGONY

 

Well! As a god (or, well, a demigod, but hush), I think I'm qualified to say that makes nearly everything a sin! Because sweet Adaptus, is there anything that doesn't make one of us angry? And, well. [He waves aimlessly; a flashing, sparkly 'FOUR MILLION YEARS OF WAR' banner flashing overhead.] Not that the more recent one was intentional, but... 'Megatronus is irrationally angry and takes it out on the universe' does seem to be a running theme.

Spoiler: I wasted ten whole minutes trying to figure out Blingee and this still isn't glittery enough

 

I AM PROUD I AM ALWAYS PROUD OF MYSELF AND U SHOULD BE TOO

 

uh, yeah, who else would i be dating at eleven?

didnt realize the merits of mature women until AFTER puberty.

 

Oh, doy.

-She bops her forehead.-

Sorry, I didn't hear the full conversation.

 

HA!

 

Rude. It's quite humid, but I wouldn't call it that bad.

...Well, it is in close proximity to assholes, so you may be right.

 

thats what you get for assuming the worst of me when ive done nothing wrong in my life.

 

What, are you HUNGRY or something?
?_?
^_~

See! You just proved my point!
^_^

 

Please just accept the apology.