[nsfw] Iyaan, Karkat-kun: Let's Homestuck some Hentai

And now a brief intermission while I rush to make a payment on a medical bill despite having just...so little money. WHEEEE.

 

Maybe someday Sollux will accept our friendship. When he stays awake for more than five minutes and eats some food. Give him some coffee or something!

oh no!
:hugs:

 

@Ruevian how'd you fix the untranslated text with Fef? I'm having the same problem :/

(Also is there any way you can upload the card-things for the beta trolls? Inna zip or something?)

 

Everyone must befriend Nepeta. But no relationships, to prevent the possiblity of yandere murderers.
Also, Roxy is so very adorable.

 

I repatched the game! Sometimes after downloading mods or custom personalities, the game will freak a bit.

And I'll see what I can do about uploading my Homestucks to like mega.co or something later tonight. :3

 

Ugh, pro tip: if you or a loved one is fat and you get pneumonia, get that shit handled ASAP, otherwise a well-meaning but hysterical nurse will send you or your loved one to the ER where they'll make you stay in the hospital for a week and you'll have to pay out the ass in monthly installments forever.

ANYWHO back to hentai. Let's be Roxy.

 

So, after some editing, here's how clubs stand now.



I changed Volleyball to a Home Ec course: sewing, cooking, that sort of thing. If anyone has anything they want me to replace Track with, let me know! I think I should put Terezi into FLARP.... Also, I upped Roxy's strength to High as suggested.

ANYWAY, let's see if our sweet honey or Sollux are at school yet.



Huh, no, not -- WAIT A MINUTE



o_o



WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!? ROXY!

Quick, to the magic statue!



Oh my god. Roxy, you CAD! Already cheating on Aradia! Well, at least none of you are evil.



Looks like SOMEONE got caught peeping in the girl's bathroom and/or changing room.

Well, fuck, let's...let's go see our secret second girlfriend, as long as Aradia isn't here.



Yeah, hi. COME HERE A SEC.



Um, YEAH? Since when are we girlfriends? I mean, I...love you?



Oh jeez. Well, maybe we can get you friends with Aradia and you two can get together and then we'll have a poly triangle relationship where no one gets murdered. So can you get along with Aradia?



Excellent. Give us some sugar.



Oh, I forgot to make your eyebrows black. I mean, HUG!



You're under arrest! The crime? BEING KAWAII AS FUCK.

 

The love dodecahedron is beginning...

 

Right, enough infidelity. Let's find Sollux and continue plan Make Sollux Some Friends.



Oh good, he's in a good mood. Let's praise him!



All I'm saying is that was some l33t h4x you did in club the other day! Don't be so modest.

Anyway, have you heard? Tavros is dating a desk. We need to get that poor boy a lover of actual flesh and blood, don't you think?



And don't even get me STARTED on Feferi and Vriska's whole thing. Like how many rooms do they plan on scissoring in?



...if you start jacking it right here, I am going to kick your ass. Anyway, like I was saying, last night I dominated SO many noobs in TF2 and --



Hey! Hey, Sollux, where are you going? Sollux, come back!

>:(

Fine, let's give him some room. Oh, there's Dirk!



Yeah, just the coolest girl in this entire school, no big deal. Do you wanna do some programming before class?



FFS, why do all my friends gotta be killjoy loner NERDS! I'm gonna go find someone who actually WANTS to talk to me.



.....really, John. At least Tavros was alone in a room when he started whacking it to a desk. You're just out here in the hall outside the bathrooms!



Yeah, you're so hot you were just vigorously fanning your dick through your pants to cool down, right?

Hey, let's find Karkat, he's an actual friend.



I need your help, Crabby Patty! Can you get Sollux to bring back his jerk levels to like a 7?



Thank you! Maybe he'll actually listen to you.



Well at least it's not a note implicitly accusing me of molestation this time. Maybe we'll do karaoke after school.

Lunch time! Hey, Aradia!



SHIT SHE KNOWS ABOUT TEREZI, THIS IS A CODE TEAL, I REPEAT, CODE TEAL

I mean

hi honey. L-Lunch? >_>

And after lunch, some making out~



No thanks, I already had lunch. But let's hug!



Is that a bullwhip or are you just happy to see me? ;)

 

Shh! SHHH! Aradia is just under the stairs! Come on, Terezi!

Anyway, let's go find Sollux and harass him some more. Sollux? SOLLUX???



The fight music wasn't even going. Like the game just doesn't give a shit that Vriska is punching Eridan's nipples, it's just part of a normal school day.



Welp. Back to Sollux.



Yeah, I know, life is so hard when two cute girls wanna be your friends. Will you PLEASE just come do some club stuff with me?



Suddenly he wants to do things with us! Karkat is simply the best Jerk Whisperer there is.

So checking out the statue again, Sollux is still at "Don't Know" status with us. Hm. This is gonna take some work. But...oh my.



It was nice knowing you, Jake.

LET'S BUG SOLLUX SOME MORE.



Horny again, huh? Look, how about a nice platonic massage to get you to relax? Your posture is awful.



Uh. Um. What's...why are you making that noise.



WHOOPS, sorry, Sol! Mama Roxy's got wandering hands sometimes, I guess.

 

Roxy should date everyone.

 

That fight scene (at least the descriptor) made me shoot coffee out my nose T_T. RIP my sinuses.

 

So Roxy wanders the school a bit and holy shit, it is EMPTY. Where the hell is everyone?



Oh, there they are. Yeah, sure, Jake, whatever, it's SOLLUX that needs more friends, not Miss Popularity over there!

Let's do some programming!



Engineering is still in the room too, so the two clubs share. Roxy takes advantage of this to try and get some Sollux to eat. And he comes along with Roxy along with Equius!



And then Sollux went super saiyan.



Please picture Equius sitting properly as he demurely sips tea while Sollux flails around screaming and attacking one of these:





And Roxy is happy because FRIENDS and SWEETS and SOLLUX IS EATING!

When they leave the cafe/bistro/whatever, Terezi is waiting for Roxy. O_O



Look, is this about Aradia? You're BOTH amazing girlfriends! Wanna karaoke?



Roxy will exclusively sing video game themes.



DID U KNO: every voice actor in this game recorded a song for the karaoke! And they all sing great!



Terezi's song is very happy-go-lucky.



:D

So, the end of the day, let's check out ratings.



Ah, Terezi IS feeling insecure. Don't fight, ladies, there's enough Roxy to go around!

Wait, looks like Tavros has some interesting new relationship dynamics...



Well, Dave, I feel you, but right now I can't really focus on that because WHAT THE WHAT, FEFERI???

In case you can't read it, her status says "Hole brothers/rod sisters" and that's the status that comes up when two people have fucked the same person and they don't hate each other. So...so I...

Tavros, did you bang the spider 8itch???

Spoiler: nudity and invisible dick

OH MY GOG, TAVROS. Twice! And yeah, I bet the compatibility is "Difficult." Forget what I said about finding you a flesh and blood thing to bang, that's a hole you don't want to fall into!



Okay, yes, good. I mean, Karkat's still in hate-but-love with Equius, but he's a MUCH better option for you.

How you doing, Fef?



Do not ask for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for Jake.

Ugh, this is all very intense. Aradia, baby, let me motorboat you.



Very. You're the best. Also watch out for Terezi.



Subtle.

And then they did it in the locker room and the day ended.

 

So who's next, guys? Who shall we play as tomorrow?

 

Let's play as a guy now, cause we haven't done that yet. Idk who though.

 

Sollux. Let´s get that boy out more. Or I would repeat my vote of equius.

 

Karkat? Hints of KarTav intrigue me. Though really I think anything is better with more Karkat.

(That pairing name doesn't sound very good. Tavkat? The Homestuck shipping names tumblr suggests Red Bull? Whatever.)

 

I vote we be Sollux and hang out with Aradia!

Also, how do Roxy's two girlfriends feel about each other?