shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Lissa giggles.

Spoiler: Again, NSFW content but meant to educate, not titillate.

"Okay, look. First of all, the ovulatory orgasm does hurt a little bit, and the pain is experienced as pleasure, by which I mean that it probably would hurt if you weren't aroused, and if being in season didn't turn your whole body into the good kind of nerve endings. I know, I have a daughter, remember? But. My mate is a human, and guess what? Humans have toys that produce the same sensations, and they're still fun even when I'm not in season. And actually, the ovarian follicles bursting is just as painfully pleasurable as that sensation." She shrugs. "It is true that I need to be careful with my tongue when I'm fucking humans, which is like, 100% of the time now that we live where we do. But again, it's a matter of being careful. And even with blunt ape teeth you still have to be careful when you're putting your mouth on the sensitive parts of somebody else's body, right? I just have to be more careful."

Lissa takes a breath, then holds up one hand. "You want to know what the biggest danger of having sex with me is? It's this." She carefully flexes her fingers, and what looks like her painted nail-tips turn out to be caps on her claws. "I have them capped like this when I don't think I'm going to need them to climb things or fight, and always when I make love to Ford or play with our friends. Because even capped, they can leave marks. A lot of people like that. But they wouldn't like it if I actually broke the skin and raked and dug in and tore them up, and even if someone did like that, the wounds could get infected. But that's why we cap them, because we're civilised and we actually learned early on in our history that capping your claws--or filing and trimming them, if you don't ever fight--is a lot more fun than always having to keep your hands and feet off your partner when things get really intense."

 

Ford raises an eyebrow. "Of course yours hurt. You're a demon. Having sex with demons isn't always painful by definition, but it's common enough that nobody who knows they're fucking a demon should be surprised." He rolls his eyes.

Something about his expression suggests that his knowledge of demon-fucking may not all be academic.

 

*PHWEEEET.*

I w9uld appreciate it if the sexual discussi9ns w9uld 6e taken elsewhere, 6ecause, while I understand the unf9rtunate necessity 9f clearing up misinf9rmati9n in all departments, including repr9ducti9n, there are und9u6tedly min9rs present. N9t t9 menti9n, sex-repulsed asexuals, all9sexuals, demisexuals, conciliall9sexuals, and th9se 9ther 9rientati9ns wh9 simply d9 n9t appreciate a graphic discussi9n 9f me9w6east genitalia.

 

Yep, step one's gotta be keepin' everyone safe. Step 1.5 is making sure I got my kit nearby in case of accidents :P I have no idea what half the words in your first bit there mean, though, besides "yes slag usually hurts in the good way" so I'm not gonna touch that.

 

You can just render yourself unable to hear discussion on sexual matters in here.

 

Don't like don't read my guy
ALTERNATELY:
Frag you, I'm a petty glitch and I don't mind giving everyone else a taste of my first few millennia

 

And h9w, may I ask, d9es that s9lve the underlying issue 9f severely inappr9priate su6ject matter 6eing discussed in a space where explicit sexual c9ntent has 6een specifically 6anned due t9 the presence 9f min9rs?

 

-Polly griiiiins-
Someone's got 'sperience.
-he yawns, and stretches in the most feline way-
Still, usually ain't worth arguin' about, I just make th' D human straight off. Usually wearin' human shape anyway.
-he stubs the butt of the cigarette and immediately lights another one-

 

1: why do you assume I care what's been banned, is the purple badge not clear enough?
2: the frag's a minor? Or is your alphanumeric replacer fraggin' up miner? If it's the latter boy have I got something to tell you...

 

1.

Y9u have ch9sen t9 interact within this space, when there are multiple 9ther 9pti9ns, many 9f which have much l99ser guidelines as t9 the appr9priate level 9f sexual discussi9n, indicating that y9u agree t9 the terms and c9nditi9ns 9f which this space is g9verned. A s9rt 9f "d9n't like, d9n't read" if y9u will.

2.

A min9r is an individual wh9 has n9t yet reached the age 9f maj9rity in their particular culture. Whether this is the age of legal maj9rity 9r sexual maj9rity depends 9n c9ntext, and in many cultures is 9ne and the same. Please refrain fr9m referring t9 min9rs as "wigglers", "children", 9r y9ur culture's particular w9rd f9r immature y9uths, as this diminishes the pers9nal aut9n9my 9f min9rs and is a maj9r c9ntri6uter 9f culling and lusal a6use.

 

1. I'm not even gonna
Y'know what, here

2. Majority? How does age have anything to do with having the most people??

 

Lissa gives him a withering look. "This is educational information. It's not like I'm telling my craziest sex stories here. I'm talking about how to be safe and clearing up anatomical misconceptions. Do you really think that's inappropriate for the kids who are old enough that it won't go right over their heads? Knowing how bodies work is kind of important when you have one."

She glances at Wiretap. "'Minor' is a legal term for people under a specific age who are not considered old enough to make their own decisions in a given jurisdiction, but nobody can agree on what it means anyway. I really think my species has got the right of this one, in that we allow teenagers to assume adult responsibilities once it becomes clear that they are capable of doing so, but remain close in order to be able to offer advice and guidance where needed. Jezebel and Tate never did anything really stupid because we never told them that they could never ever do this or that or else, we told them what the risks and benefits of forbidden things were and allowed them to use their natural good sense. Of course some adolescents don't have much in the way of good sense, like Mason and Alex sometimes, but if you don't trust them, and you punish them instead of listening, they'll go off by themselves and fuck up instead of doing it where you can find them when they need your help."

 

oh thank fuck weve stopped talking about cat dicks and moved on to arguing about talking about cat dicks

fuck all yall im gonna fuck up Catastrophically and handle it my Damn Self

 

...who wouldn't be old enough to make their own decisions tho--? Wait. Slag. Organics. Growth periods. Right. Uh, thanks? Our species... doesn't really have that, unless Cybertron's figured something out with the apparent new repro method. A millennium or so of loosened expectations while the new guys figure out their personalities and get used to responsibility, back before the war made every last one of us sharpen up in a few minutes, but... even fresh out of the factory, beyond getting assigned a job and sometimes living quarters we were expected to make all our own choices.

 

Ford winks at him. People can be very stupid. He'll never forget the kid at West Coast Tech who, after discovering that 'interdimensional paradigm theory' was actually more sorcery than pure science, summoned a succuba that nearly did him in. Ford remembers this largely because he was the one who had to banish her.

"I don't recall there being any terms and conditions for entrance here." Ford shrugs. "It's a public space and you can make parts of it private at will, and do anything you want within those private spheres without being ejected. I know. I have done that. Common sense dictates not having offensively prurient sexual conversations in a public space whether or not there are 'minors' because people have the right to informed consent for that sort of thing whether they're eight, eighteen or eighty. However, my dear mistress was explaining her species' anatomy. That's not pornographic. That's academic. And you can choose not to listen to it, though I think it might do you some good."

"I am going to call people what they want to be called and not what you think I should call them, and the terms 'kits', 'kitlings', 'babies', 'children', 'sparklings' and 'wigglers' are useful in conversation, because they're different sorts of immature beings. Kits have to be held close to the body until they can regulate their own body temperatures, whereas human babies are prone to respiratory problems that can cause sudden death if you don't put them down on their backs in their own beds, or at least that's what the medical experts are telling us this week. Sparklings eat metal, kits and babies drink their mothers' milk and eat soft foods. Kits have to be wiped after feeding to stimulate excretion and are held over chamber pots after feeding once they can hold up their heads, whereas human babies wear diapers."

Ford stops to breathe. "Look. I know you are concerned about everyone's rights, but you sound like a moron sometimes. You can't tell people of another species how to handle their young when your own species is highly precocial, compared to Lissa's species which is extremely altricial."

 

"You could have just said, 'stop being a legalistic asshole', Stanford." Lissa rolls her eyes affectionately.

 

Nobody ever gave me no damn loosened expectations!

 

There were terms and c9nditi9ns stated at the 6eginning 9f this current space's existence. Whether y9u ch9se t9 read them 9r n9t is up t9 y9u, 6ut they apply regardless 9f y9ur awareness 9f them. I understand if y9u truly were n9t c9gnizant 9f their existence, 9f c9urse, and suggest y9u either read them 9r re-read them to gain increased familiarity with them. Additi9nally, y9u very 96vi9usly did n9t use a private area 9f this space, as I was a6le to perceive y9ur inappr9priateness.

Y9ur partner was n9t merely explaining her anat9my in pr9fessi9nal, academic terms, 6ut referring t9 her specific experiences and preferences in sexual c9ntext, which is far fr9m appr9priate in even a sexual educati9n envir9nment. I can pr9vide qu9tes 9f this if y9u require evidence, al6eit I admit I find myself reluctant t9 read such l9gs.

 

I LIKE GETTING FRAGGED!

 

jw why have all members of BOTH pines families turned out to be annoying circle-jerking FUCKS

im reinstating the blanket pines family ban on my waterpark

wait where is my waterpark