shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Lissa nods. "That's got to be handy in lots of ways."

 

'Sme, I'm cruel as tits.
-he fastens the collar round Teggy's neck super carefully. It does indeed not go with any of his outfit-
As for the feets, I'll stick with th' paws any day. Hate it when I gotta wear proper feets. -he is indeed more or less entirely digitigrade, though he appears to have normal human knees, thighs and hips-

 

[Look at this poor pitiful little birdy. People are being mean to him again. He is so cute and small and tiny all draped over the big bad predator.]

 

"Pfft. What makes human feet proper and ours not?"

 

[He grins, but doesn't answer. Yes, yes it does.]

Mostly a matter of not blowin' our cover.

 

-the big bad predator pets him and scritches his chin-

Proper f'r a human shape, then. -grins- These paws is proper for this form, but humans get so fuckin' upset 'bout it. Somethin' somethin' impossible somethin' somethin' science somethin' somethin'.

 

[He gives a happy little cooing noise]

 

"You two are so cute," Lissa says, smiling.

 

Aww, if y'say that I gotta push him off my lap or somethin'. -makes motions like he's gonna do just that-

 

Awwww thanks-

Don't you dare-

 

-boomp off he goes-

 

[UNDIGNIFIED SQUEAK]

 

-cackles gleefully-

 

You are so mean. Only gonna cuddle with Paul tonight if you're being like this he doesn't dump me on the floor.
[sniffs. OFFENDED BIRD]

 

He drools in his sleep. -offers him a hand up-

 

[He takes the hand up and hold onto it because now he's gonna make a point of being shmoopy as punishment.]
Yeah but he's warm and comfy to sleep on so I'll suffer that.

 

He chases rabbits in his sleep.

 

It's pretty charming. When he doesn't disturb my sleep with it.

 

If y'cuddle with him he's gonna disturb y'so much. -grins and tickles at the side of Teggy's neck-

 

[He squirms a little and then leans against Polly heavily]
I'll survive.