shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[upon realizing that apparently anyone can summon pizza from the ether, karkat does just that. nom nom]

 

My suggesti-n is quadrant therapy -r seeking legal assassinati-n. Which is quadrant therapy at times s-

 

-cackles, picks him up again and cuddles him like a teddy bear-

 

ALAS, THEY WERE PURELY METAPHORICAL AND THE TORMENT IS WITHIN MY OWN SPITEFUL PAN. MY MISERY IS ETERNAL.

I DON'T HAVE QUADRANTS RIGHT NOW.

 

Assassinati-n can be remarkably metaph-rical. Except when it isn't.

 

CLEARLY, THE SOLUTION IS TO LOBOTOMIZE ME

I'M READY, DOCTOR. FREE ME AT LONG LAST

 

I didn't bring the applicable f-rms and waivers f-r that s-rt -f thing. Remind me next time and perhaps a c-ntract can be signed. Metaph-rically.

 

THIS METAPHOR MIGHT BE GETTING JUST A SMIDGE OUT OF HAND. BUT WHO AM I TO TALK! MY METAPHORS ARE A LONG AND WINDING ROAD INTERSPERSED WITH VULGARITY WEEDS AND SIMILE CRACKS, OCCASIONALLY TAKING A DETOUR TO BAFFLEMENT.

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

 

[Cuddles back, laughing too]
Glad I'm amusing at least.

 

Just a tad. Mine tend t- be t-- deadpan and reflective -f reality I am t-ld. Alas. I am n-t sure which situati-n is better.

 

TOGETHER, LIKE A 90S HUMAN ANIME ABOUT ROBOTS, WE WILL MERGE AND BECOME UNSTOPPABLE.

EITHER THAT OR WE TALK OURSELVES INTO A MASTURBATORY CIRCLE OF CONFUSION AND REFERENCES. NONE HAVE ESCAPED THIS SWIRLING VORTEX.

 

Why just anime? Combiners were in all sorts of shows for a good bit!

 

YOU SAY THIS AS IF I UNDERSTAND ANYTHING BEYOND THE VAGUEST SURFACE LEVEL OF HUMAN MEDIA

 

Well, I'm a bit partial to this one myself... ;)

Spoiler: Quite a large image, befittingly!

 

OH, HOW SHOCKING. PLEASE INSERT A PROVERB ABOUT ARROGANCE HERE AT YOUR LEISURE.

AT ANY RATE, SURE, THIS ALSO WORKS JUST AS WELL FOR MY COMPARISON, IF YOU WANT THE HONOR OF BEING INCLUDED IN MY SHRIEKING SO BADLY.

 

Demigods, immortality, arrogance-- some things just go together!

 

YOU DON'T SAY! EVERY IMMORTAL GOD I KNOW IS A HUGE FUCK ABOUT IT, BUT I'D BE LYING IF I SAID I HADN'T DONE IT TOO

[he takes a bite of his pizza and snorts derisively]

 

Probably comes with not having to worry about permanent consequences of much!

 

I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND, *CONDITIONAL* IMMORTALITY

SURE, YOU TRIP DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS AND DIE, YOU'LL COME BACK, BUT DIE FOR A CAUSE OR GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU? OOPSIE, HOPE YOU LIKE THE AFTERLIFE. YOUR CORPSE WILL BE AS USEFUL TO THE WORLD AS ANY OTHER! I HOPE YOU LIKE FERTILIZING.

AT LEAST, THAT'S HOW IT *WAS.*

I'M NOT SURE HOW IT IS NOW

 

Some of them, at least, can improve, though I'm sure the method I used isn't for everyone.