shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

BOTH! AND YES, MY BROTHER SANS IS A SKELETON! THE SECOND-BEST SKELETON, AFTER ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS UCHIHA!

 

But is the great part of your name or is it like the imaginary fire shop?

-we question your greatness. you've not defeated assassins and accidentally killed my consort or given me cool coins-

 

-summons an atlantean-size tea/now-coffee urn, the intricate designs making more room inside-

 

Jame closes her eyes for a second. She wanted some quiet, but it didn't sound like any would happen.

"Hello, Lyra." She smiles. "I've met the skeleton before and other trolls but not this one. And let's not set anything on fire?"

 

Jame smiles at Moira. "You know."

 

Well, no, I'm going to set anything on fire. Just that seems like the sort of thing that'd happen around you. It would be fine though and you'd get us all out. Though maybe the room wouldn't survive but that's fine too.

 

*slime noises*

*wiggles*

 

"With my luck ..." Jame says, looking exhausted. "But I'm not soaking wet, so we know a huge catastrophe isn't about to happen. What have you been up to? I thought you were still in Gothregor!"

 

What've you been doing that you haven't slept so long? -amused headshake-

I would prefer not. I don't want to test the permanent flammability of the rave.

 

-gets up, attempts wiggling. They're pretty solid, there's not much to wiggle-

 

I SAID I WAS *CAPABLE* OF IT, NOT THAT IT'S A PASSION OF MINE. I DON'T DELIGHT IN EMBARRASSING MYSELF IN ENDLESS AND PAINFUL WAYS. AT LEAST NOT PHYSICALLY! I RETAIN THE RIGHT TO EMBARRASS MYSELF VERBALLY. AS THE WORD COUNT OF MY TALKING APPROACHES TWO, THE LIKELIHOOD OF MAKING AN ENORMOUS, HEMORRHOIDAL ASS OUT OF MYSELF APPROACHES 100%. SCIENCE. I SIMPLY CANNOT HELP IT.

"OH BUT KARKAT WHAT IF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR TWO SECONDS TO SPARE YOURSELF?" NO! I HAVE THE IMPULSE CONTROL OF AN ANGRY PUPA, AND I WILL, LIKE A DISEASED CRETIN, VOMIT MY THOUGHTS WITHOUT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST FILTER, SUBJECTING YOU ALL TO MY GARBAGE OPINIONS. I AM THE TRASH MAN, DISTRIBUTING WASTE LIKE THE FAT RED MAN IN WINTER. IT IS ME.

ANYWAY. I UNDERSTOOD APPROXIMATELY NONE OF ANY OF THAT. OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS ARE TRULY LEGENDARY. AT ANY RATE, I WOULD JUST IN GENERAL ASSUME ALL DEATH TO SUCK MASSIVE BULGE.

 

THE GREAT IS A NECESSARY PART OF THE PAPYRUS PACKAGE!

AND WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS?

WHO ARE YOU? AND WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS?

I FLIRT WITH U AND THROW BONES AT U AND REDUCE UR HP TO ONE! WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS?

 

"I am Jame. You don't remember me? Perhaps you're a different Papyrus."

 

Well, I was waiting for the other Jame who is actually not Jame. But he didn't show up to teach me how to dance and I think I fell asleep while waiting. I hope he hasn't run away again. He does that sometimes. I heard he ran all the way to Tentir one time!

I just said I wasn't going to!

That's ok because I am pretty confused by you two. We can be very confused together. I think it's fun in a way.

If you were so great wouldn't you know where he is?

 

"Getting in trouble, what else?" She smiles but it's hard to keep up when this exhausted. At least the coffee is making her feel better.

 

See? Interesting things.

 

"Oh, the other me who is Lord Knorth? I've met him. Odd to see how I could have turned out different."

 

NO! I DO NOT! ARE U A FAN?

AND WHERE IS MY BROTHER SANS?

I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS UCHIHA, NOT THE GREAT MAPYRUS UCHIHA!

 

-boggles at this for a bit in silence-

There are TWO James? And you're not the Highlord? What are you then? Are you his consort instead like the other Jame who is actually a Tori is?

-is giggling profusely at the pun-

 

And I wasn't in on it? -this is the face of disappointment, but she's teasing-

There've been plenty of maps on papyrus, though probably not many in.