shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I MEAN, YOU DON'T NEED A MEAT CASE TO KEEP OPERATING, SO PROBABLY??

WE WILL FORM TWO OPPOSING AND VIOLENTLY HATEFUL MOVEMENTS. NEITHER OF THEM WILL REMEMBER WHY THEY HATE EACH OTHER, BUT BOY FUCKING WILL THEY

 

That seems to happen a lot.

 

[Amused:] I know where you are if I focus hard enough, not how long you've been there or what you've experienced. You'd want the Time sibling for that. She'll show up eventually, I'm sure.

But as for the sticking-- well! Our particular flavor of deification meant that originally we were not part of any given universe, or if we were it was in the sense of some disorienting not-universe comprised of the distance between any two given streams. Frogs? Whatever you want to call them. We could all interact with all of them, and even step inside for a visit! But we retained our memories and absolutely could not be physically killed. Some very boring (or very interesting, to the right person) things happened, and now I'm the only one left even a little bit like that; the rest of us keep getting new iterations inside the frog-clones. Technically I'm one of those new iterations as well, but part and parcel of defending the entire universal cluster is being aware of and capable of moving in that between-space. So me and all my alt-selves share memories, even if most given iterations of me are capable of dying now! Absolute pain in the aft to make sense of at first, mind...

In any case, I am the sole remaining Singularity of my generation, though Primus and "the self-vore guy" come close!

You have the title, not the birthright! [He winks.] He does and does not consume himself, as Primus does and does not; together they are The Allspark, and who can say whether they simply unfuse in the next turning or whether entirely new Maker and Unmaker come into being?

 

Is that going to be a new epithet I have to carry now? The Unmaker, The Planet Eater, The Chaoes Bringer, "The Self Vore Guy"?
[He sounds amused]

 

Yes. Absolutely. [Vector says this with a completely straight face, but his optics glitter with amusement.] Always in the plan, of course.

 

I THINK I'VE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME AROUND MY DAVE! HE'S VERY MUCH ABOUT THE TIMEY BULLSHIT, SO THAT'S KIND OF WHERE MY GO-TO FOR GODLY IDIOCY IS. STUPID OF ME, OF COURSE, BUT EVERY THOUGHT I HAVE EVER HAD HAS SOARED TO NEW HEIGHTS OF DUMB. LIKE A FEATHERBEAST TAKING FLIGHT. I GUESS I GOT USED TO "HEY WHAT TIME IS IT?" "OH, IT'S SEVENTEEN MINUTES PAST FIVE DO YOU WANT THE SECONDS TOO OR--" "THE DAY I WANT THE SECONDS WILL BE THE DAY I BECOME THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON YOU KNOW AND SMITE YOU FROM THIS EARTH"

AAAAANYWAY. THAT IS REMARKABLY STICKY. IT MAKES ME THINK A LITTLE BIT OF DAVEPETA? WHO I DON'T KNOW VERY WELL OR HOW THEY'RE DOING, BUT I'VE HEARD STORIES! AND THEY KIND OF HAVE THE "ALL ALT MEMORIES" THING GOING ON. TEREZI TOO? THE ONLY EXPERIENCE I HAVE WITH ALT SELVES, THOUGH, IS SCREECHING THROUGH THE SCREEN OF MY HUSKTOP IN LIEU OF ACTUALLY MEETING MYSELF IN THE PIT. WERE I A TIME PLAYER, THINGS WOULD HAVE ENDED VERY DIFFERENTLY, BECAUSE I'D BE STUCK IN AN ENDLESS MOSH PIT OF ME MURDERING MYSELF. TWO MES LOCK GANDER BULBS FROM ACROSS THE ROOM AND, LIKE FATED LOVERS, REDUCE EACH OTHER TO PAVEMENT SMEARS.

IN OTHER NEWS. IF YOU TOLD ME WHAT THE VORELORD'S NAME WAS, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO CALL HIM THE VORELORD! BUT ALAS. IT IS HIS SINGLE DEFINING FEATURE IN MY SOUL AND MIND. WHAT DOES HE WANT? ROBOT AUTOCANNIBALISM, APPARENTLY! WHEN DOES HE WANT IT? AT THE END OF THE WORLD!

SPEAK OF THE...ROBO-DEITY?

THE FUCK IS UP, HUNGRY DUDE! YOU GOT A NAME? 'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE CALLING YOU THAT ANY MORE THAN YOU LIKE BEING CALLED IT, BUT TRAGICALLY I HAVE NO OTHER OPTIONS WITHIN REACH OF MY TINY ORGANIC FRONDS. IT'S VERY SAD.

 

Thankfully, our Time 'player' has a healthy sense of self-esteem and is more interested in doing her job than fighting herself!

And I'm not sure, "Vorelord" does have a nice ring to it...

 

MY SELF ESTEEM IS FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT IS SIMPLY AN OBJECTIVE FACT THAT I AM A USELESS ASSHOLE. I'VE ACCEPTED THIS AND MADE PEACE WITH IT, AND WILL RIDE AROUND ON THE WAVE GENERATED BY MY MORE TALENTED FRIENDS FOR ETERNITY.

BUT THAT'S WHY DAVE AND ARADIA DO THE TIME SHIT AND I GET THE USELESS ASPECT FOR DUMB CROTCH PUSTULES WHO WOULDN'T EVEN USE THEIR POWERS FOR EVIL! NAY. I WOULD IDENTIFY THE WORST DECISION TO MAKE AT ANY GIVEN TIME AND WITH LIGHTNING SPEED, MAKE IT.

 

me too thanks

 

Of course.

I assure you, "Speak of the devil" would be more accurate than "deity". I am not worshipped.
I am known by many names, though for ease and brevity, you may call me Unicron.

[He chuckles]

 

I suppose I fell asleep at my desk again. Fucking shit.

 

Im Not Your Lusus But I get My Lab Privileges Taken Away When I Do That

 

I lost an arm once doing that

 

Really?
Wow Thats Rad-... I Mean Fucking Stupid. Thats What I Meant.

 

Unfortunate. I'm my own boss basically so I can do what I want.

 

I'm my own boss too and yet the arm had to be replaced anyway. Turns out the laws of thermodynamics don't particularly respect authorities.

 

I also don't work with explosives directly, that's Wrench's job. I mostly do paperwork, and sometimes I code. Mostly paperwork. Being a CEO is quite boring, honestly.

 

Paperwork is very vicious. I've heard that in societies that still work with cellulose based media, papercuts are a leading cause of death among the administrative workforce.
[... is she bullshitting? Who knows.]

 

Indeed, that's why I do most of mine digitally. However, the paper pushers in finance... Those poor men and women.
*Is HE bullshitting? Who knows*

 

Let us pour a cube out for those who gave their blood, fingertips, and very lives in the name of organized files.
[She summons one for that exact purpose, toasting the "sky" before pouring the stuff out in front of her pedes. Bright, glowing pink, possibly radioactive stuff.