"Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" - The Misheard Lyrics Thread!

Because misheard lyrics are hilarious. Share your fave mishearings/mondegreens and make it so we'll never hear that song the same way again! C:

(Title from the possibly most famous misheard line from Purple Haze)

 

like half of my misheard lyrics are from Mika...??

From "Love Today"
Courtesy of a friend's little brother: "Girl with the groove with the pink moustache, pink moustache, pink moustache!"
Actual lyric: "Girl with the groove with the big bust on,"

And then from "Touches You"
I heard: "The sins of a goth in love, what am I guilty of?"
Actual lyric: "This isn't a perfect love, one that we're guilty of."

(I still can't hear the real lyrics. It's all goth love to me.)

My mum supplied this kind of perplexing one from "Lollipop"
She heard: "She's a shlubzer, but she wants more," (she literally turned to me after weeks of listening to the CD to ask me what a 'shlubzer' was and if it was something rude)
Actual lyric: "Jesus loves her, but she wants more,"

And in "Blue Eyes", things got kind of more nsfw?
I heard, and still keep hearing:

Spoiler: i'm laughin

"Finger a woman, I think you should!"

It's "think her a woman". Think. Think her.

 

Until like a month ago I thought the line in Sound of Silence was "silence like a pensive rose." Apparently it's "silence like a cancer grows."

I still like mine better.

 

actually wait while i'm here i know so many people already know this one, but Wuthering Heights - "it's me, Kathy, I'm a tree, I'm a wombat" gets me every goddamn time

 

??

 

I managed to misquote my own misheard lyric omg.

"Heathcliff, it's me, I'm a tree, I'm a wombat" > "Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy, I've come home, [I'm]"

It turns out low-quality audio's a hell of a thing.

 

I interpreted the third line of "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" as "Take one small one, balance it on your head".

 

Back when Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved" was being played constantly, I consistently misheard the titular line in the chorus:

Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
If she will be loved...

Learned years later it's supposed to be "and she will be loved". (My version is objectively better.)

 

"I write the bastard songs, they make me feel alive" became, for me, "I ride the backs of songs that make me feel alive"

The first is obviously closer to the singer's heart; the second is more relatable to me

 

I can never hear the opening of "Wishmaster" by Nightwish as anything but:
"Bastard!
Apprentice!
Hard porn, seventh seagull!"

 

We're goin' downtown in a looleloora
Sugar we're goin' down swingin'
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded dog cock that's cocking and pulling

^A bastardisation of Fallout Boy commonly heard around my school circa 2006. Like, I knew those couldn't possibly be the lyrics, but I also couldn't decipher most FOB lyrics for the life of me.

 

Hamster!
A dentist!
Harpoon Steven Seagal!
Wario!
His trifle!
In me, the fishmaster!

 

The beginning of the random battle theme of Persona 4 goes like this, according to the wiki:

"Now I face out I hold out
I reach out to the truth of my life
Seeking to seize on the whole moment, yeah"

The entire game, I heard:

"I face out, I hold out,
I reach out to the truth
All my righ sentences
at the homo man club."

(Edit: It did not help that there's a dungeon in the game created out of a character's fears that he might be gay, and it's full of enemies that resemble giant buff rainbow men in Speedos, and so for most of the game I kept very pr96lematically thinking, "No, the Homo Man Club was a different dungeon.")

 

"I'm a little man
Why am I so evil
Also into cats,
Also into cats"

(That's supposed to be the chorus from Arms Race)

 

Mumford and Sons -Sigh no more

Oh, man is a guinea pig
Oh, man is a guinea pig
Oh, man is a guinea pig

 

The webcomic Scandal Sheet had a strip where the lead was singing "Let Milo open the door to your heart!" Friend says "It's 'my love', idiot." "Hey, we all love great music like that - you, me, Milo, everyone."

 

Oh, and the next strip had the lead pointing out that his friend drunkenly sang "Our Lips are Sealed" as "Eyelids of Seals".

 

don't - ed sheeran

misheard lyrics:
i like it lie lie

actual "lyrics":
ah lahmlahlah

 

Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies

It's supposed to be:

I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poise and rationality

But here's what I hear every goddamn time:

I chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
With a sense of poisoned rationality

IF YOU ASK ME IT JUST MAKES THE SONG BETTER TBH.......