Vent siggy is soggy

haha, well anyway time to draw things for people i dont really know and feel mega left out as all fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

or well i did. but still C': feeling left out and i guess unsure how to say hi to people and wanting to be apart of something is something i gotta live with forever!!!!

 

honestly i just, wish i can fucking feel included or something. or not be a piece of shit for once. i dunno C': i just wanna yell and complain but i know if i do i'd lose friends too! im just!!! So upset at myself!!!!!!!

 

I hate being petty and jealous and so fucking stupid for feeling like this I just want to scream and cry my heart out so this feeling can go away!!!!!!!

 

fuck, i even miss my girlfriend so much like i wanna see her so muc h but i dont want her seeing me like this

 

haha, it's bad when your anxiety makes you pull or tear your hair out because you h ave no idea what to do...

 

its. really sad, realizing ive been drawing all my life just to get peoples attention.

i dont remember if i ever had drawn for myself. i dont remember anything and i'm so upset.

ive been doing this for years, in ever y group im in, ive always been the only one drawing things to get peoples attention and im so mad about this. for once i dont want to be the only one drawing things for the group.

 

even if its a group of artists, its... always me...

because im very fast at drawing doodles and making them clean enough to understand...

 

this post speaks to me on levels i cant explain.

 

#big mood

 

haha, my anxiety is so bad all i can have is water, i feel like i'd puke if i eat anything

 

Empty stomach can make pukey feeling worse though. Try crackers maybe?

 

im making some pasta

 

im eating non seasoned pasta. or well, mildly seasoned but not a lot on it where it wont make me puke.

sigh...

 

Oh no, bab, I'm really sorry things have been rough lately :c
Your reaction to the DnD thing seems pretty understandable to me. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I would have been mad too if I was in your situation.
Also, you're my precious floof friend, okay? I hope it hasn't happened before, but just in case: please don't ever feel obligated to draw stuff for me!
I do love your fanart and your OC art and your webcomic because you always put a part of you in them, and they are uniquely you!
But you're also a funny, sweet and supportive person, and I really appreciate you ;n;

Ahh, I'm not good with words at the moment, but please take care!

 

When you feel so fucking replaced and or ignored where they just........ dont do anything with you anymore aside from one dnd game now.........

and you just... want to exchange art with them and have fun but they have much better friends to do that with and much better dnd games theyre in so youre just.... giving them things at this point to hope they give you some attention...... feeling like a fucking idiot reaching for nothing.......

 

It's upsetting you know??? because i want to even join them and their friends on the fun BUT I FUCKING CANT.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING SO I HAVE TO KEEP WATCHING THEM DO STUFF WITHOUT ME AND IM SO UPSET OVER THIS SHIT. I KNOW SAYING ANYTHING WOULD SOUND LIKE IM BEING POSSESSIVE WHEN NO I JUST WANT TO JOIN THEM, NOT THEM ONLY PAYING ATTENTION TO ME.

im fucking crying so hard right now i'm so mad at myself for being like this but im also so upset at them for like... feeling like they pushed me away with out realizing........

i seriously feel like im just a boring person who doesnt do anything fun or interesting anymore and im so tired of myself.

 

even getting angry to the point where i just.... hate them but i dont want to hate them. i dont want to hate anyone but im so mad...... i just really want a goddamn hug and be told i'll be fine and i'm not being a massive bitch over this but i know i am