shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*Points at Wrench*

This is the day that asshole came into being.

I'm smart, don't get me wrong! I just-- My neighborhood wasn't a good one to try shit in. I ended up getting picked up because my cTOS profile fit to mean that I was 'guilty' for a case I had nothing to do with. Why'd it fit? Young, black, and interested in tech. Fuck those assholes.

You better!

 

Lissa giggles. "I'm naturally high on life but that doesn't stop me from indulging." She eats another bite of the brownie, then holds it up for Kablooey. "Want some?"

 

-laughs- That so?

-sips- Wow, that´s really close!

Lots of things about Wrench do. -she is watching the pile with great amusement-

 

"My name is Stanford, you ridiculous ass." Ford shakes his head, grinning with deeper affection than might be initially evident.

 

"Never hurt me," Lissa says cheerfully.

 

Yeah! YEAH!
*_*

MY GOD IT'S TAKEN HUMAN SHAPE. THE END IS NIGH!
!_!
@_@
^_^
[He attempts to throw confetti at Ford too. The confetti continues to be made out of paper and not terribly aerodynamic paper either.]

 

HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY, SPIKY! MAY YOUR QUILLBEAST HARVEST THIS YEAR BE BOUNTIFUL, TO REPLENISH YOUR...SHIT, YOUR EVERYTHING. AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE LIABLE TO DRIVE THE QUILLBEASTS EXTINCT MAINTAINING THIS LOOK. I'LL PREPARE A SPEECH.

[he makes a face at the *possibility* of confetti getting on him and takes a few steps back]

MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES.

 

Oh my god? Oh my god. A SPEECH. Will you hand me away too? PLEASE WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE AS MY BEST MAN.
*_*

 

-picks up some confetti and sprinkles Wrench with it. Halfway through she has an idea and is holding a container of glitter with which she no decorates him. It gets on her, of course so the only thing for it is to apply some swipes on her cheeks as highlighter-

-laughs- Hey, that´s my asshole you´re talking shit about!

 

"No, don't fuck them, they don't deserve to get fucked." Ford grins. "Especially not by you. I knew you were smart. I can tell. Lissa never went to school either, and she puts on a great ditzy catgirl act when she wants to be underestimated, but Lissa is fucking brilliant."

Ford cracks up and blows him a kiss. "Well I made the attempt, anyway."

 

That's pretty much me too. The drugs are for the rest of the time, or to keep me from burning against the sky. And oo, sure. Especially if there's more.

-flicks her arm at Ford and digital glitterfetti sprays out from her lack-of-sleeves. Gotta help a bro out-

 

"You getting married?" Lissa's eyes are wide.

 

[Hyena laughter commences once more. He's so shiny.]

You're a SQUARE NERD, but I like you anyways!
^_^
^_~

You're the BEST.
*_*

I'M GETTING A SPEECH!
^_^

 

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF HUMAN WEDDING CUSTOMS FOR ONE LIFETIME, THANK YOU EVER SO KINDLY! AT ANY RATE, I'M MORE LIKELY TO PUNT YOU CRUELLY DOWN THE AISLE AND LAUGH AS YOU BOUNCE YOUR WAY ALONG.

YOU SAY THIS AS IF 1) I GIVE A SHIT WHAT ASSCHEEKS HE'S PLACED BETWEEN, AND 2) THAT I DON'T DO THIS TO QUITE LITERALLY EVERYONE I HAVE EVER MET. ONE COULD ALMOST SAY I HAVE A CONDITION.

IT'S TERMINAL, DOCTOR! HE CAN'T HELP SHRIEKING ABOUT EVERY FLAW EVERYONE ELSE HAS, NO MATTER *HOW* MINOR!! HOW WILL HE EVER FIND CONCUPISCENT PARTNERS LIKE THIS??

THE DOCTOR SIGHS AND PINCHES HIS SNIFFNODE. "WE'LL HAVE TO PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY. IT'S KINDER LIKE THIS"

AND THEN HE SMASHES MY SKULL IN WITH A SHOVEL. AT LAST, SILENCE!

 

Ford rolls his eyes. "You've seen me naked, you asshole, you can call me a nerd, because I am one, but don't call me a square."

 

I'm just glad this glitter isn't happening in the waking world because my fucking god...

Nah, I'm what you might call into assholes.

We kinda did a fuck'em and leav'em situation. Got the CTO of Blume fired because of a lot of shit and now we can approach the company better and let the world know of their crappy practices. I can tell Lissa's smart though, always gotta worry about the ones who play like they're not smart.

Not that I know of?

 

-glitterfetti spray for him, too! It comes out of her lack-of-sleeve with a kazoo noise-

 

*just accepts his fate.* Feel better?

 

-She´s also laughing, helplessly. She might be a a bit drunk and high-

hey, hey kid are you legal to drink? Because if you are, have one and chill a little!

You´re right, we´d be picking it out of everything for months!

 

I have never wanted ANYTHING more in my LIFE.
#_#
*_*

Nerd SQUARED! You're a nerd MULTIPLIED BY FURTHER NERDERY.
9_9
^_^

Spoiler: crude gif